Tag: Life as I know it

Life as I know it…

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Merry and bright

This was a great Christmas. It was the twins’ first Christmas, and I realized that they are the first out of all our children to spend their first Christmas here at home. For all the others’ first Christmases, we were down at my mom’s house. As much as I love spending the Christmas holiday down there when everyone is back, being at home and not having to go anywhere or really do anything at all is very, very nice. Especially now that there are so many of us!

On Christmas Eve, the big 3 got everything ready for Santa and the reindeer – cookies, egg nog, a carrot, and reindeer food in the front yard. Then Della read us The Night Before Christmas, a tradition that we started last year. Lana was able to read some, too, this year. She’s been working on that little book for the past month to try to be able to read it for us on Christmas Eve, so I know she was very happy and proud to be able to do her part.

When I woke up on Christmas morning, I saw there was a weather alert on my phone – snow had supposedly started overnight, which was not in the forecast at all. In fact, on the late news on Christmas Eve, they even said we were going to have a brown Christmas. I honestly felt like a kid when I peeked out the window and saw a white Christmas! I couldn’t believe it. It was the perfect way to start the day.

I made sure to get up early when the twins did so I didn’t miss a second of the kids’ excitement, and it was awesome from the start. They all got a nice little haul from Santa this year, and Daddy even got each of the big 3 a good book. The babies watched the unwrapping madness from their jumpers so they didn’t get trampled or do any trampling (Avit, ahem), and all they wanted was to get in their highchairs for some Cheerios. They were both too big to wear the little Baby’s 1st Christmas hats that we had, but they did wear matching Santa bibs for all the meals. That counts, right?

Then the day was spent playing with the new goods, watching Christmas movies, generally relaxing, then hosting Ryan’s parents for Christmas dinner. It was a wonderful day, and I hope all the Christmases out there were just as great.

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Back in the saddle again

School started for the girls right after Labor Day, so we’re fully back in the school days swing. K5 for Lana and 3rd grade for Della; Lana even wore the same dress for the first day of K5 that Della did. My loves! I must admit, the first week was a little mind numbing for me. It took me all 4 of those first days to figure out exactly when I needed to get up, when I needed to wake the big 3 up for breakfast/clothes on/teeth brushed, if I had time in the mornings to make lunches or if I should do them the night before, when the babies would wake up and if they’d need to nurse again before school, what time we needed to be out the door, etc., etc., etc. See? Orchestrating 6 bodies in the morning while preserving a modicum of my sanity takes talent.

But once we made it through that first week with all the first-day morning and afternoon pictures and a couple more days to smooth out our system and schedule, I felt much better. Last week was pretty easy and harmless, and now it’s fairly smooth sailing. The girls are loving their new classes and teachers, and so am I. I’ve already had great communication with both teachers, something that’s very important to me. I like having a good relationship with their teachers, since they’re in charge of huge pieces of my heart and soul all day long.

But before we started packing the backpacks and lunchboxes again, we had a lot of fun in those long, glorious summer days. We weren’t able to make it up to Canada for a vacation this summer, so I made sure the kids got to do plenty of fun things around here to make up for it. I inflated our backyard pool and kept it filled pretty much the whole summer for the first time. It was a really hot summer this year, so that worked out well.

We went to the zoo, Bookworm Gardens, the beach to hunt for sea glass, a pool/water slide park right near our house, did the library reading program again, and the big 3 played outside with neighbor friends as much as possible. One of the neighbor girls babysat them so I could run with the twins a couple times each week, which they loved. And I let the girls each pick a camp through our rec department, which we never usually do in the summers. Della picked a week-long gymnastics camp at the high school, and Lana picked a week-long NASA-sanctioned space camp at the other elementary school. They both had an absolute blast with their respective programs, and I know they liked getting to do some new and different things.

I took the kids to Peoria for a couple days in August to see family and give the big 3 some pool time, since they’re all little water bugs. That was a great trip. Much fun was had by all, and the twins got to meet a lot of new family members.

I think I hate to see summer vacation end just as much if not more than the kids do, but I have a really good feeling about this school year. Lana was totally ready for full-day kindergarten, and her teacher has already said how good of a listener she is and how well she follows the rules. And Della loves every single thing about her class so far, and her teacher totally understood all my over-emotional messages those first couple days. Plus I’ve figured out how to transport all 5 of them when we walk and where’s the best place to park when we drive. So we’re golden. Off we go!

 




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These days

These days are full of burp rags and 2 a.m. feedings; diaper after diaper after diaper and tiny baby snuggles.

Watching them take in this whole new world with wide, innocent, beautiful eyes. Something new to them every day, each piece filling my heart more and more.

These days are full of wiping 3-year-old buns and filling milk cups; taking breakfast and lunch orders and cleaning off hands and faces.

Figuring out when to let them try it and when to keep doing it myself. Knowing they want to learn and grow but selfishly wanting them to stay my babies forever. Trying to raise them to be good, kind, strong adults while making sure they live childhood fully.

I tell them constantly – enjoy every single day and year as a kid, because once you’re a grownup, you’re a grownup for the rest of your life. Being a kid is so much more fun!

These days are full of “Mama, watch me,” and “Mama, know what?” and “Mama, can I have that?” and “Mama,” “Mama,” “Mama.”

And I try to answer each and every one, because I know someday I’ll hear it no more.

These days are full of giving back pacifiers and rubbing tiny noses, soothing and calming just by being near.

These days are full of onesies and strollers and bikes and dolls and toys and imagination and creation and fun. Even the really, really long days. Start over in the morning, look back, and I can always see the fun. They’re kids. They do.

These days are full of laundry and messes and cleaning and laundry and messes and cleaning. But they’re mine, and I get to do them. I don’t have to wait until after work or on the weekend.

These days are full of one more kiss when I go to bed. They’re always deep in sleep and smell warm. Like these long summer days of play.

These days are rarely my own and are almost completely for these 5 incredible, magical, wonderful little faces. But that alone makes me ridiculously happy.

 




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They have arrived!

The twins are here! Well, they were here over a month ago now, but you know very well how this blog works. Something happens, I want to write all about it, then I finally get a chance to do so anywhere from 1 to 6+ months later. I hate that it works that way because I remember the days when everything I put on here was much more timely, even daily, but that just isn’t how life works around here anymore. C’est la vie.

But I can’t let another day go by without formally introducing you to our 4th and 5th (and final!!) babies, so here we go…

Since I was pregnant with twins and incredibly old to be having babies (once you hit 35 you’re considered advanced maternal age, and your pregnancy is labeled geriatric. no joke. they really know how to make a girl feel good.), my OB didn’t want me going much past 37 weeks before delivery and definitely not past 38 weeks. So we set an induction date of Wednesday, January 31. This broke the tradition of all of our children being born on Sundays, but the date did end in a 1 like the birth dates of all the others (Della = 1, Lana = 21, Morrison = 31).

It was also a good date because it was a super blue blood moon – a supermoon, a blue moon, and a total lunar eclipse all at the same time. This cool phenomenon hadn’t occurred for over 150 years before then, so I’d say that makes these little guys pretty damn special.

I was scheduled for 8:30 that morning, so my mom came up the day before to get settled in for this, I made sure the girls had rides to and from school for that day and the rest of the week just in case Ryan wasn’t able to do it, and Ryan and I headed to the hospital shortly after 8:00.

We got checked in and settled into our delivery room for the day, and things got started. And then they stopped and we waited. And waited some more. The anesthesiologist who was going to come in to do my epidural was apparently having a busy morning, and I was obviously low on the priority list, thanks a lot. He finally came in and started to set up his little table, but then he got a phone call, said he had to take it, and left the room. Wtf, dude? I looked at the nurse like what the hell is he doing, and she apologized, saying he really is not supposed to do that at all. So she went out to find him, and Ryan and I sat waiting again.

When she came back, she said she had discovered he was dealing with a family emergency that day, so ok fine, we cut him some slack. I finally got the epidural in shortly before 11:00, and thankfully that went smoothly. I never got one with the first 3 kids, because I’d heard horror stories of the needle and it getting messed up in your back. And I really enjoy being able to walk, so I didn’t want anyone screwing around with my spine. But having to deliver 2 babies in a row sounded horrible, so there was no way I was going without one this time around. The giant needle containing the numbing medication hurt like hell, but once that was done he got the catheter in and the real medicine pumping through, and I had none of the immediate side effects he warned might occur, so we were all set.

Ryan and I started watching Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on his computer and just waited for the pitocin to get labor going. I’d had so many Braxton Hicks contractions in the months leading up to then that I assumed I’d be at least 2-3 cm dilated by that morning. However, when they checked me after I’d gotten all hooked up in the bed, they found I was only 1.5 cm dilated and not effaced at all, so we were basically starting from scratch with zero labor signs. Awesome. There went my hopes of getting these little guys out by early afternoon.

Things were going boringly, yet fortunately pain-free thanks to that massive needle that had been shoved in my back hours earlier, when I got uncomfortable and wanted to shift positions. I was afraid of knocking the catheter out of place in my back, so the nurse helped me roll more to my right side and sit up just a little. Then I started to feel kind of funny, then really bad, then things took a turn for the worse. My blood pressure plummeted to 50/29, my heart rate dropped sharply, one of the babies’ heart rates dropped too, and I passed out and started throwing up the juice the nurse had given me at first to try to bring my blood sugar up. Ryan said my eyes rolled back and my legs jerked out straight, so he thought I was having a seizure. It wasn’t, it was the blood pressure drop that was a bad reaction to the epidural, but the nurse hit the OB team button, a bunch of people came rushing in, the new anesthesiologist jammed a needle full of something into my IV bag, and I came right back. As soon as I opened my eyes, I felt a million times better and found out what happened. To me, it just felt like I needed to go to sleep and closed my eyes. I missed all the action.

So I stayed lying down for the rest of the day, and we continued our waiting game and show watching. They broke my water mid-afternoon, let’s say around 2:00, and then I expected things to really pick up as they had with the other 3. Nope. More waiting. I finally started to feel some real discomfort and almost pain a couple hours later, after watching some contractions go off the chart and not feeling a thing. I really didn’t believe the epidural was truly going to work until I realized those mountains on the printout were massive contractions and I had felt nothing the entire time. So anyway, when I told the nurse I was feeling a lot of pressure and kind of some pain, she checked me and it was time for babies! Wahoo, finally! But holy shit did I get scared then.

They had to wheel me into the operating room, and my heart rate was probably through the roof. I was so nervous! Yes, I’d given birth before and all went smoothly, but this was a whole new ballgame. Two at once?? Plus after the bad reaction I’d had earlier in the day I really had no idea what was about to happen. We had to be in the operating room because with twins, the NICU team is automatically in there to immediately take care of the babies when they come out, just in case. Plus there was my OB, the med student (resident? whatever he was called), the anesthesiologist to monitor the epidural and turn it off as soon as I was done, and all the nurses (thank god for those nurses! they are saints). So they covered my hair, made Ryan get in his bunny suit/hair cover/and booties, and we set off down the hallway.

When we got into the OR they made me shift from the bed I’d been in all day to a tiny, hard slab of a bed that I swear was about an inch wide, and I knew that was going to be a bad idea. My hands had gotten so swollen and painful from the carpal tunnel and all the fluid they pumped into me by the end of the day that I was practically in tears by the time of delivery because they hurt so badly. Both Ryan and our main nurse took turns trying to massage them and applying heat packs. So my hands were inflamed and useless, yet they wanted me to push myself up and over onto this other bed. Not a chance. So I had to alternate wriggling my lower half and hauling my upper half with my elbows to move myself, which made my stomach churn into knots. Wonderful. By the time I was fully on the miniature OR table, I was ready to throw up again. And again and again and again. That was miserable. I was afraid I’d be barfing and pushing out a baby at the same time. Disgusting.

Poor Ryan got the glamorous job of holding my puke pan, and his services were needed again when they made me move down to the end of the OR bed. Why didn’t you just make me go there in the first place? But I got that all out of my system before it was time to push, thank heavens. Since I couldn’t feel any of the contractions whatsoever, I told them they were going to have to tell me when to push and get these little ones moving. So they did. And after just a couple rounds, Baby A came screaming into the world. He was Nat Jennings Rau, born at 5:02 pm, weighing 6 lbs. 3.5 oz. and measuring 18″ long.

10 minutes and a few more pushes later, Baby B made his appearance. He was born sunny-side up and, as such, swallowed a bunch of amniotic fluid on his way out, so it took a minute to get him going and crying when he came out. But once they made sure he was ok, we met Avit Jerome Rau, born at 5:12 pm, weighing 6 lbs. 0 oz. and measuring 19″ long.

Perfection.

A very happy, relieved ending to what for me was a long, painful, fear-inducing journey. I was elated to be done being pregnant, since this one caused me the most pain and discomfort by far. The heartburn was more severe, the carpal tunnel pain was excruciating, and the 48-pound weight gain was about a dozen pounds more than I’d gained with any of the other 3. It was the first time I actually could not see parts of my body, putting on and taking off socks was a nightmarish circus act, and every physical act made me feel like I was about 120 years old. Plus the absolute unknown of birthing and raising twins shadowed the entire pregnancy for me, so much more so than any excitement of getting to meet 2 more brand new little people. But once they were in my arms, I was thrilled to welcome them into our family. I still can’t believe we brought 2 babies home this time!

(i cannot get that picture of Ryan rotated correctly to save my life, so sorry)

So there it is. The final birth story for this family. Of 7. What?!?! That still sounds unreal, and I’m sure it will for a long time. Never ever ever did I envision having 5 children, nor did I ever want to have 5 children. But now that we do, it is pretty amazing to say that my body carried and birthed 5 beautiful, healthy babies, all of whom are currently thriving and happy.

The big siblings came to the hospital to meet the babies on Thursday after Della got done with school, and they were all instantly in love. Actually, they were more interested in playing in the big hospital room that I got for my recovery stay and getting food, but you know, they still love the twins.

(can’t get Nigh-Night rotated either, dumb blog)

We went home mid-day on Friday, after both the twins and I cleared all our checks for discharge. My mom stayed with us through that weekend, then Ryan had 2 weeks off work, which was amazing. We all got to take naps every day, and I was able to sleep in until just before the girls got off to school, so that extra sleep that I didn’t have in the early days with the other kids was a lifesaver. Then my mom came back up for a week after Ryan went back to work, yet another lifesaver. Friends and neighbors have also been massive helps, bringing meals and giving the girls rides to and from school. Simply not having to leave the house with all these children has been a tremendous sanity saver for me. The twins still have no morning schedule to speak of and nights continue to be iffy, so if I had to try to get all 6 of us ready to get out the door by 7:45 each school morning, I’d probably be out of my mind by now.

Yes, it’s hard work with the countless diaper changes daily and feeling like I spend fully half my time stuck under a feeding infant or 2, plus taking care of 3 other kids, one of whom is in the thick of potty training right now. And yes, I’m exhausted. But I’m really, truly happy. I thought having twins would be the worst thing to happen to our family, but I could not have been more wrong. These spectacular little faces make it all worth it.

Welcome home, little Nat and Avit! We all love you oh, so much!

 

 




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Summertime, and the livin’ is easy

Unfortunately, those days are over for us this year, as school started for both Della and Lana yesterday. Waaahhhhh!!!!

I really hate seeing summer go, but I’m actually looking forward to this school year. Both girls are so excited – Della has been ready to get back for a while now to start 2nd grade, and Lana is happy to be going with her big sister this year for her turn in K4. Lana got the same K4 teacher Della had, who we loved, so we’re all really happy about that. And we’ve heard some great things about Della’s teacher, so she should have a great time, too.

Della’s so happy to be back seeing her friends every day, and it fills my heart to exploding to see her thrive at school. Lana is just such a goofball, I am beyond curious to see what her experience is. I’m just so grateful that we already know her teacher, so I am perfectly comfortable telling her anything and everything and making sure I’m giving and getting enough feedback for how Lana is doing. This is pretty surprising to me, because I honestly thought I was going to be a mess sending little Lana, my fairy girl, off on her own. But thinking back, I was much calmer than I thought I’d be when Della started K4, too. So who knows why my mind thinks the way it does.

But please stay tuned. I have a whole post planned about our summer, including plenty of pictures; I just haven’t had a chance to get it written yet for the world to see. Life has been busy around here lately, but it’s coming, I promise. In the meantime, I’m hoping we get a little taste of summer warmth to enjoy again before it’s gone for the year!

 




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Springtime fun in the sun

This spring, we were lucky enough to get 2 vacations within 2 weeks of each other. I will actually call the second one a trip, because, contrary to popular belief, traveling with children halfway across the country without your spouse or their other parent is not technically a vacation. It is a fun trip at best, a torture sentence at worst. It’s definitely not a relaxing, put-your-feet-up vacation, though. Those of you who have traveled solo with your kids, let alone flown with them, know exactly what I’m talking about.

Our first trip was truly a vacation. The 5 of us went down to Key West over Della’s spring break from school with my sister and her family and my mom and stepdad. I had never been there and had always wanted to go, so I was really excited to get a chance to visit the southernmost point in the US. I was beyond thankful, too, because, due to the fact that I’m currently doing some work for my sister and the company she and my brother-in-law work for, our entire family essentially got a company-sponsored vacation. Otherwise, we probably definitely would have been enjoying a Rau family stay-cation for spring break this year.

My excitement, however, soon turned to dismay, when Lana and Morrison caught a bug from their cousins and started vomiting. Unstoppably. As such, I was stuck in our rented house for almost the entirety of the trip, since barfing kids not only feel terrible and need extra care but are generally unable to do the fun things that come with tropical vacations, like boat trips to see dolphins and manatees, exploring the island, and going anywhere other than our house. Thankfully it had a private pool in the backyard, which I was able to enjoy most days while the sick ones napped.

I did get to have a little fun before the sickness ensued, fortunately. My sister rented bikes for everyone the first day we were there, so Ryan took us all on a big bike tour of our part of the island on the second day of our trip. That was cool – we saw the southernmost point landmark (even though the line was ridiculously long and we couldn’t stop to take a pic there), we did get a picture at the start of Highway 1, we biked through some of the cool little Key West neighborhoods, we rode by Hemingway’s house (unfortunately i never got a chance to go back for a tour, which i really wanted to do), and we got the general vibe of the island. We also watched the sunset in Mallory Square one night and saw the elusive green flash; that made me really happy, because I’ve always wanted to see one.

Some of us also went to the beach one morning, which was nice. The beaches there are very rocky, though, not sandy, so it made walking on it rather unpleasant. I swam out a ways to a small coral outcropping that was a popular snorkeling spot, and as far out as you could touch the bottom it was rocky. So weird; I’ve never experienced a beach like that. We found a bunch of cool shells, though, which the kids loved, and we brought back enough to fill a mason jar that’s currently decorating their bedroom.

I got to go on a sailboat ride with my sister, brother-in-law, and some of their coworkers on what was supposed to be our last afternoon there. Fortunately, I talked Ryan into staying 1 extra day so I could try to get some relief from all the vomit and have a relaxing day to myself. It kind of happened – the little ones were still barfing, but it would have been a nightmare with them on a plane that day instead of at the house, plus I did get to enjoy the afternoon sun by the pool with drinks brought to me by Ryan from some of the bars on Duval Street that I never got to see in person due to my pseudo-quarantine status most days. I need to remember, however, that boats and I don’t mix very well anymore. Any time anyone asks if I want to go on a booze cruise I jump at the chance, forgetting that I get instantly nauseous as soon as we leave the harbor. Ah well. I got to help hoist the sails and did feel good after I laid down with my eyes closed for a bit and just enjoyed the lull of the ocean, so it all ended well.

I have to say, my favorite part of our trip was the almost-daily trips to the Cuban coffee shop. That stuff was delicious!! I lamented the fact that I barely got to see or do anything else due to the kids being sick, but that’s ok. Hopefully I’ll be back. And Ryan checked off everything on his list (of course!), which was good because he hadn’t had a true vacation in about 3 years.

Then, 2 weeks after we got home from Key West, I took the kids out to Tucson over the long Easter weekend to visit my grandparents. We had a layover in Denver, and thankfully my sister booked all our flights so that I met up with them to fly the second leg from there into Tucson together. I’m not sure 4 planes by myself with the 3 Goonies would have been quite as enjoyable as having company/help for half of them.

It was a great visit, even though I was parenting solo. The weather was beautiful, we took the kids to a new-to-us pool that was pretty perfect for them, we spent some time at the house of a wonderful family friend who I’ve literally known my entire life, we got to spend important time with my grandparents, and we overlapped with other family who we don’t see that often.

It’s always nice to get out of Dodge every once in a while, especially when Wisconsin winters can seem endless.  So these were some fun, sun-filled days.

 




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38

Yesterday was my 38th birthday, and although I’m not thrilled about the ever-looming age of 40, I will say that 38 is off to a great start.

The day wasn’t the warmest, but the sun was shining brightly and beautifully. I walked Della to school with the other 2 in the stroller, then went for a run when we got home. Then Lana helped me plant the flowers and plants we had picked up at Home Depot the day before – flowers for the pot I put on our front walk, flowers for their little playhouse window boxes, and raspberry and grapes plants for the back garden. Ryan and the kids got me a beautiful necklace that I wanted, and the kids all made me cards. Which I will of course save forever, since they are all going to be amazingly famous artists.

We walked back to school to pick up Della in the afternoon, enjoying the sunshine a little longer. I requested chicken marsala for my birthday dinner, and Chef Rau obliged. He also got me a brownie ice cream cake. It was all beyond delicious, as always! We all enjoyed the cake when Della got home from gymnastics, then watched The Voice, the girls’ and my favorite show. I had a couple glasses of dessert wine to toast to myself, and then we called it a night. It was a very good day.

This wonderful family of mine and and some great friends who know me well made this a fantastic, peaceful birthday, which is exactly what I wanted. Happy birthday to me!

I tried to find a comparison shot of me at 28, but we don’t have any pics from my birthday that year. So here’s a picture from our anniversary that year (the big #1!), which was a month before my 28th birthday. Ah, aging…