Sounds gross, I know, but it’s true. And I don’t mean like I don’t put on deodorant or change my underwear for weeks at a time or anything like that, but when I’m really tired, simple toiletry tasks just annoy me.
Take, for example, today. I was bone tired and not feeling that great all day, so by the time I picked up D, had her first parent teacher conference (yes, in daycare! silly, but it was actually pretty cute. don’t worry, she’s never been sent to the principal’s office 😉 ), and got home after work, the last thing I really felt like doing was getting in the shower. However, I didn’t shower yesterday, so today I was due. Ever since D was born I’ve adopted a one-day-on, one-day-off showering routine. Sorry, I know some of you super cleanies are thinking, “Oh my god, she doesn’t bathe daily? That’s disgusting!” But when D was a newborn, getting a shower in every other day was a victory. And if I don’t workout and get all sweaty in a particular day, I really don’t get that dirty or stinky. And since my good heavy sweat-inducing workouts have been few and far between since that glorious day last August (i’m working on that, i promise!), I’ve just continued my every-other-day schedule. As far as I see it, why waste time and resources showering if I don’t really need to?
However, if I try to go more than a day in between showers, my hair starts to look like I’ve been working next to a deep fryer too long. I can sometimes stretch it to 2 days, but then I need to start getting creative with the hairdo so as not to look like a total greaser, and that’s the absolute most even I can stand. That usually happens when a weekend is involved, too. I try not to subject my coworkers to such atrocities.
Another one that I can get lazy about is brushing my teeth before bed. I’m really pretty good about oral care, so again, if this happens it’s usually on the weekend – we often watch movies on weekend nights, during which I have a tendency to fall asleep, so when I wake up to stumble into bed the last thing I feel like doing is waking up more to clean my teeth. It all depends on which I want less – to brush and floss, or wake up with little furry coats on my teeth. Honestly, sometimes my teeth just seem cold and get to wear the little coats. And hey, they haven’t fallen out yet.
Washing my face before bed? Another thing that starts to take on “chore” status for me sometimes. I never skip this entirely though, because my skin is oily so it needs to be cleansed in some fashion. If I haven’t worn makeup that day, I might just use a facial cleansing cloth or a cotton pad with toner instead of a full-on washing. And those also tend to be weekend days. Hmm… maybe it’s just weekends when I get hygienically lazy.
So now that I’ve revealed some more of my dirty little secrets (ha! get it? dirty? i’m hilarious), I totally won’t be offended if everyone goes running for the exits in horror. I promise, though, I’m really not that revolting – I did take a shower today, after all. 🙂
Well, it was yesterday, but I was too tired by the time I went to bed to hop on here and tell you all about my day. 🙂
Amazingly enough, I survived turning 32 without the sky falling or the world ending, so I guess it’s not that bad. And I had an absolutely wonderful day, just what I wanted. It started off with R getting up with D so I could sleep in until 8:15. Ahh, that was heavenly. He surprised me with pancakes for breakfast, which were warmly waiting in the oven. Delish! A sweet card and gift were on the dining room table, too. R had a beautiful wooden picture frame made that reads “Happy First Mother’s Day” across the top and “Jocelyn and Della Jolee, May 8, 2011” across the bottom. I love it! We took a really cute picture of me and D to put in it yesterday, so I can’t wait to display it on my desk at work. D went down for her morning nap shortly after 9:30, so we made it family nap time. R put some nice chill Allman Brothers music on the speakers in the living room, perfect sleeping tunes, and we both dozed for a while to take advantage of D’s nap time.
The sun was shining and it was relatively warm, so we walked up to the little grocery store in our neighborhood around noon once we were all up and dressed. R humored me and we took the long way, so we got some nice exercise in for the day too. The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with D, R smoking ribs for dinner (ribs aren’t usually my favorite meal because i hate messing with the bones, but he made these so fantastically that the bones pulled right out with not an ounce of meat left on them. i’ve never had ribs that good before!), and pretty much just hanging around to enjoy a lazy Sunday.
After dinner came the best part. Last week R said he’d make me a cake for my birthday, even a multi-layer one, so I requested red velvet and funfetti with chocolate icing. He is such a doll! It turned out splendidly, as does everything he makes, so that was just the perfect ending to a perfect day.
It was so special having my very first Mother’s Day on my birthday. And celebrating with my little family was the most magnificent way to spend it. Thank you, R and D, I love you!
I just read a post on another blog about someone’s personal struggles, and it made me utterly thankful for everything in my life. I mean, I’m always thankful for what I have and try to never take it for granted, but this post just struck a deep chord with me for some reason and spurred me to action.
Thank you for my health
Thank you for my family, especially the wonder that is my husband R
Thank you for my friends
Thank you for my home
Thank you for my job (no matter how many times I may curse it)
Thank you for my relative lack of indebtedness (save the mortgage on that home)
Thank you for all of you who have found and read this little blog of mine
Thank you for my happiness, which is pretty much the sum total of everything listed here
Thank you most especially for this:
Happy girl
Who am I thanking above? I’m not really sure. But damn, am I one lucky girl.
I’ve never been a coffee drinker, nor have I ever needed my daily caffeine fix. Until D was born. Then it all went steamrolling downhill. While I was pregnant I was very good about not consuming more than the recommended 200mg of caffeine per day. In fact, I rarely even came close to that if I had any at all.
But once that little bundle of joy arrived, I became hooked on iced hazelnut coffee drinks that R would make for us at home. Not because I needed them after all the nights of broken sleep, but because they were so sweetly delicious (and we use skim milk and sugar-free syrup so they’re actually not all that bad for us, either). With just the right amount of hazelnut I could barely even taste the coffee. 😉
Then I discovered that walking up to the Starbucks at the end of our street and down a block and back was the perfect route with which to return to the outside world once I was cleared for physical activity again 6 weeks postpartum. There I would get an iced venti nonfat light-ice chai as my treat for being a new mom. Hey, I just had a baby, why not celebrate with a tasty afternoon delight?
You are my sunshine...
I ordered so many of those iced chai concoctions that I finally bought one of their reusable cold drink cups, and it has been my right-hand man ever since.
When I went back to work I knew there was no way I could spend $4.05 daily on my addiction, so I bought a palette of the Tazo chai concentrate at Costco (yes, a palette. i told you i was addicted) and just made my own at home each morning. That was in January, and I just finished my last box of chai last week. Wth am I going to do without my daily dose??
I decided I should probably kick this habit and not have R’s mom take us back to Costco so I could get another round (we don’t actually belong there ourselves, so we have to mooch visits off of her when we need something in bulk). I need to go back to actually eating breakfast instead of drinking it. So I’ve been trying. But damn, is it hard some days. I’ve slipped a couple hazelnut coffees in there, but they’re just not the same.
Then today, after having some lovely (read: boring!) oatmeal for breakfast, I started getting a headache. Just a slight twinge at first that steadily grew to feel like I had a small nail or other such device stuck in the back of my head. Hmm, I think I need some caffeine! For you see, you really can get addicted to caffeine, and you really can get withdrawal headaches. And no, I didn’t just make that up to make myself feel better. 😉
Sure as shit, my headache magically disappeared a few sips into that heavenly can of Pepsi Max. Ahh… relief. Guess I’ll just have to try again tomorrow. How dumb that I got myself hooked on caffeine. But hey, at least I’m not saying now where did I put my crack pipe…
I have fallen in love with Etsy. Everything on there is just so damn cool, and I love that it’s pretty much all handmade stuff. Support the individual’s small business and all. I actually got all of my sister’s birthday presents on there this year.
But woe is me, I have nary a creative bone in my body. I can’t sew, I’m not crafty, I can’t draw, I can’t bake. Too bad they don’t have a shop for witty, biting sarcasm, because I think I could make a killing in that one. 😉
So anybody else want to start an Etsy shop who actually has talent? I can manage all your sales and books for you. I’m wicked smaht and would love to have a little business, but just don’t have the tangible object-making chops. Boo.
So Saturday verged on a waking nightmare for me. It all started out innocently enough – D woke up around 7 so I got up and took care of her while R slept in. After a little breakfast I gave her a bath, and it was the first time I cracked out a bag of bath toys. Oh my lord was she in heaven! I’d gotten them out a few days prior for her to play with while sitting in her bathtub dry as I got ready in the bathroom, but she hadn’t had them in the water yet. It was a whole assortment of sea creature squirties, and she had a ball.
Hey, I've got a duckie in my mouth!
How you doin'?
After her bath it was nap time, which was my cue to go run errands. Saturday was my mulch day, since it was the first semi-nice day in forever and the forecast after that appeared to be crap (turns out they were wrong – shocker! – but i wasn’t taking any chances and wanted to get this stuff in). Last year it did a fantastic job preventing weeds, which was another reason why I wanted to get it in before those little fuckers took over the gardens (i get the Preen kind with fertilizer in it. i’m sure it’s not the most eco-friendly, but extremely SM-friendly since i don’t have to spend hours all summer pulling weeds, which i loathe). So off I headed to Stein to load up on this season’s mulch.
Now here’s where the fun really began. We have two vehicles – a Toyota Highlander and a big Chevy pickup truck. Which would be better for hauling mulch? The truck with it’s big open bed, perfect for dirty jobs, duh. Which did I take? The Highlander with it’s much smaller fabric-covered cargo area, good for groceries and luggage but horrible for dirty jobs, duh. I must admit it did occur to me, albeit very fleetingly, to take the truck since I knew it would be infinitely better to use for such a trip. But I paid that thought no attention, unfortunately, and took the other one since I hate driving the truck and figured I was just “running errands” anyway.
BIG mistake. 12 30-lb. bags of rain-soaked mulch later, and the back of the Highlander was a wet, brown, mulchy disaster. And not just brown because it was mulch and hence full of dirt. I mean brown because it was colored chestnut brown. Hooray. Sure I had sheet upon sheet of Stein’s complimentary plastic down and over it all to try and spare the car, but I may as well have been lining it with tissue paper for all the good it did. Why I thought this was going to be easy, I have no idea. Not only was the shit heavy as hell (especially since my plan to get back into shape and regain a modicum of muscle strength has continuously failed so far), but I was not dressed to ruin my clothes so was trying very hard not to smear this crap along my jeans and jacket as I flung the bags around or stand in the river of brown dye that was pouring out the back of the car as it got increasingly weighed down with each bag. I’m sure I looked like a complete idiot – first I had to lug these dozen bags down off the pile in the store’s outdoor yard and onto my orange wheeled cart while trying to figure out what to do with my purse without ruining it, then I had to use all my strength to haul the cart up to the checkout window, then I had to return to said window twice to get more plastic sheets since it was so much messier than I expected, then I spent who knows how long trying to lift each bag back up off the cart and place it in the back of the car so that it didn’t splatter mulchy crap water too far up the sides and backs of the seats in the middle row. Ugh. SO not happy driving home, just knowing the monster clean-up job that awaited me upon removal of all 360 lbs. of mulch when I dumped the bags into the driveway.
Once I had all the mulch unloaded and the mat from the cargo area laid out to be scrubbed and dried in the sun that was still shining at that point, I went inside to see how D had been for Daddy. Guess what awaited me in there? Another mess, yippee! R has begun his latest hobby of charcuterie, and this was his weekend to try his hand at homemade sausages and bacon. I have sung his praises over and over for being such a great cook, but bless his heart, he is not the best cleaner-upper. Especially when it comes to raw meat, I don’t take any chances. I like knowing that everything has been thoroughly cleaned and sanitized so as not to leave any salmonella or e. coli running around the kitchen, where D loves to scoot around and put everything she can find into her mouth. So I fed D some lunch (not fun since she was being a pill and was cranky all weekend, which added to my mess-induced anxiety) while (not-so-)patiently waiting for him to stuff the last casing and take everything down to the big freezer, then proceeded to scrub down the counters, sink, faucet, and floor to remove every last bit of raw sausage and grease that I could find.
Ok, now at least a good hour later and D down for another nap, back out to my mulch. I got the floor mat scrubbed with soap and thoroughly rinsed, but you could totally still see where the brown puddles had been. Great. Too bad, that was just going to have to wait until Sunday to be rewashed. I had more pressing issues, like actually getting all this mulch into the gardens before the threatening rain clouds that had now blanketed the area unleashed their fury on me. 2 hours, 4 gardens, 12 empty mulch bags, and one very tired back later, I was done! And I think they turned out pretty well, ifidosaysomyself.
Front lamppost (those are the hostas I transplanted from my Mom's house)
Front garden (tulips and hyacinth in front, hostas in back, 2 different lilac bushes)
Driveway garden along neighbor's garage (day lilies, hostas, bleeding hearts, lilies of the valley)
New peonies garden along other neighbor's garage in the back yard (pardon the mismatched bricks. i need to work on that)
Back garden (tulips and bleeding heart in back, crocuses and some other little ground cover plants in front)
And just in case you’re interested, here’s what R was working on to create the mess mentioned above:
He turned these 2 pork shoulders...
...into this plate of sage, garlic, and red wine sausages...
...and this plate of bratwurst
D wanted in on the Rausages action
And he turned this pork belly...
...into this batch of bacon, curing and waiting to be sliced as we speak
I really hate messes, but I always do feel great once they’re cleaned up and the world is right again. On Sunday I mopped the living room, dining room, and kitchen floors, then went outside to mow and rake the lawns and admire my mulch. 🙂
Osama Bin Laden is dead. For those of you who went to bed before the report came out last night and haven’t yet tuned into the media this morning because you like to use my blog as the supreme source of all things newsworthy ( 😉 ), let me repeat – the motherfucker is DEAD!! (sorry, i do use curse words, and in this instance i think it’s highly appropriate) The mastermind behind the 9/11 terror attacks has finally been killed, nearly a decade later, and I, for one, could not be more pleased. I will never forget where I was when I heard the news that gave me goosebumps last night – standing in my bedroom, getting ready for bed after D had one of the worst screaming nights of her life so far. I will also never forget what I was doing on 9/11, because I was there that day.
I came out of the subway in the World Trade Center right as the first plane struck the building.
I was 5 blocks away when the second plane struck the other tower.
I wandered my way through the streets of lower Manhattan in total confusion about what was actually happening as the subways and ferries shut down, stranding me on the island.
I looked up and saw the flames and smoke pouring from the majestic buildings.
I watched in utter disbelief as the first tower came crashing down in a mountain of crumpled steel and ash (and, horrifyingly enough, thousands of bodies).
I ran in sheer terror as the cloud of noxious smoke, dust, ash, and who knows what else from that building charged through the narrow streets on which we were already amassed, trying to avoid being smothered and trampled.
I felt elation when the mother of my friend at whose apartment a couple of us camped out for the afternoon finally got a call through on his land line and I was able to give her my dad’s phone number to call him and tell him I was ok.
I felt immense guilt and sadness when my dad told me they found my youngest sister in an empty study hall classroom in high school that morning after hearing the news of the attacks, silently crying because she was afraid I was dead (that thought still does and probably always will make my cry when i picture her there).
I walked miles through the deserted streets that evening trying desperately to find a subway train that was running back to my home in Jersey City, across the Hudson River from Manhattan.
I was so incredibly fortunate to have been spared that day and make it back to my apartment that night, exhausted and delusional with fear.
I smelled the odor of the smoldering pit where the towers once stood for months and months and months after that day, a gruesome and constant reminder of what happened there.
That man stole so many lives that beautiful Tuesday morning and burned a permanent hole in the history of this country. I will never, ever forget the magnificent sense of American pride I witnessed after those attacks as the nation banded together in an effort to remember those who were lost and vow to get the villain who did this. And now we finally have. Am I naive enough to believe that now terrorism will just magically end? Of course not, duh. But this is definitely one victory for the good guys.
Welcome to Hell, Bin Laden. I’m pretty sure there’s a huge and extremely fiery seat waiting to cook your ass for all eternity.
