I fought the bottle (of milk)… and I won!

It has now been just over 3 weeks since D had her last bottle of milk, so I am happy to confidently report that we are currently a bottle-free house. I haven’t washed a bottle or nipple in 24 days. Wahoo!

Our doctor has been recommending D drop the bottles all together by 18 months (which she turns tomorrow!), but until recently I was scared to even try. We were successful in getting her down to just having them at night – 1, maybe 2, before bedtime if she drank the first one and was still wanting more – but I had no idea how she was going to get to sleep without those. Well, I would usually give her one before naps on weekends, too, so I guess *almost* only at night would be more accurate. Only at sleep time, we’ll say, that’s better.

I didn’t feel like she was ready to drop them completely, and if I’m perfectly honest, I didn’t really want her to drop them either. It’s almost like it was the last vestige of her really being a baby, and I didn’t want that tie to be broken just yet. I didn’t want to give up that bonding time we still had when I would rock her to sleep with her bedtime bottle.

I say we were successful in getting her down to just sleep time bottles – that was probably by December that the morning and random daytime bottles were totally gone (i’m talking bottles at home – she hasn’t had one at daycare since at least last summer). Then we went to Hawaii, and it turned into a bottle free-for-all. We took multiple ones in the diaper bag on the planes to calm her in flight if needed. We gave them to her in the mornings if she wanted them. We gave them to her at the pool before naps so she would snooze in the shade. We took them to restaurants when we went out to lunch and dinner to keep her calm if needed. And yes, we gave them to her at bedtime each night too.

So you see, we totally screwed ourselves there. How was she ever going to give them up now, after we’d just jacked her bottle quotient up higher than it had been in months? The poor girl was in bottle heaven!

We simply went cold turkey, that’s how she gave them up. The week after we got back from Hawaii, I conceded that she could still have 1 bottle, but only 1, and only right before bedtime. If she drank it then didn’t go to sleep, she wouldn’t get another when she finally did go down. That lasted a night or 2, before I realized that if we’re cutting her back down to this level, we may as well try to get rid of the whole shebang.

We started on a Saturday, and the first night sans bottle – terrible. I took her in to her room at bedtime and rocked her while reading a book, because I could tell she was really sleepy. She had her little burp cloth that she likes to hold at bedtime, and we were snuggled in tight in the glider in her room. Eventually she got very squirmy, and I could tell I was in for a struggle. Instead of putting her down, though, I held her in a cradle hold and stood up to bounce/rock her like I did to soothe her when she was really little. She wanted none of it, but I just kept her there, held snugly against my chest so her head was resting in the crook of my arm.

After about 15-20 minutes of the crying cradle hold rock, she was out like a light. R had come in at the start of the cries and told me to just give her a bottle, we’d try again tomorrow, but I insisted on not giving her any more. I knew how tired she was and that she’d eventually give in to sleep, and I was right. I knew you could do it, D.

The second night – cries again, but for a much shorter time. The third night – cries again, but even shorter still. By the middle of that first week of no bottles at bedtime, D knew the routine. We get her rag and book, then go in to rock before going night-night. Sometimes she’ll fall asleep on the couch in R’s lap while he’s watching tv, but most nights I read and rock her. I do usually read and rock her for nap time on weekends too, but she has gotten better about going down without that sometimes.

The first week after dropping the bottles D did wake up during the night a little more often than normal, but that has since diminished as well. This transition turned out to be much less frightening than I expected, which helped my mama heart. D was an absolute trooper, as usual. I figured if she never has bottles at daycare and simply lies down to sleep at nap time for them, she can do it at home too. She proved me right.

What are her favorite bedtime stories, you ask? Right now we like The Little Red Hen and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. I usually have to read The Little Red Hen a couple times before she falls asleep, but so far I’ve only made it all the way through One Fish, Two Fish once. It’s amazing how quickly you can memorize a children’s book. “Not I! said the duck…”

 

 

This one time, when I fell asleep with my eyes open while driving…

I realized the other day that I really have shared zero stories from my time in NYC witch’all. Not that my life was brimming with parties and celebrities and tales that would make even Paris Hilton blush, but it was just fun being out there, finding my way in such a monstrous and amazing city as that of New York City. Manhattan. The Big Apple. So many monikers, and it lives up to each and every one of them.

Now I didn’t technically live in NYC. I lived right across the Hudson River in Jersey City, NJ. This worked out perfectly, for the PATH train that ran from NJ into the city stopped less than 1 block from my apartment building, I had a 19th floor view of the entire Manhattan skyline from past the Empire State Building all the way down to the Statue of Liberty, and the rent on my 700+ sq. ft. 1-bedroom apartment was considerably less than what I would have paid on the same space anywhere within the city limits of Manhattan.

But I did work in the city. Right in the heart of it. First in the World Financial Center (which used to be attached to the World Trade Center by a footbridge), then actually in Jersey City for a stint after 9/11 since our building was damaged in the fall of the towers, and finally smack dab in the middle of the island near Times Square once we procured our new office space. It was awesome. If you’ve never been, that city really is alive every minute of every hour of every day. There is always something going on somewhere, and if you find yourself bored in NYC, then I think there’s just something wrong with you.

It’s unfortunate that I detested my job so much by the end of the 2 years I lived there, for I really could have pictured myself staying out there for much longer. I moved out in July 2001, R came to join me in June 2002, and we moved back to Milwaukee together at the very end of June 2003. I cannot even tell you how much it meant to me (and ultimately our relationship) that R moved out east to spend that year with me, because we had more fun exploring and getting to know our new locale than I think we have anywhere else. And it’s now always a city that will still feel a little like home no matter how many years go by between visits.

But anyway, more on that later. Back to my story that prompted the title of this post. How does one fall asleep with their eyes open, and while driving, no less? Easy. I’ll show you.

Less than a month after I moved out there, my 2 best girlfriends A and E came out for a long weekend visit. I was absolutely thrilled, because I so badly missed everyone from Madison. Moving 1,000 miles away from your family and friends all by yourself was a little harder than my 22-year-old self was expecting. So to see them again so soon was wonderful. Through work, I had been to a lot of bars and clubs and had heard of even more, so of course I wanted to show them all the best ones during their stay. Because as 22 and 23-year-old coeds on the loose in Manhattan, isn’t that what you do? Duh.

The last night of their stay we decided to go all out. We went out to dinner at Tortilla Flats, hit up a couple bars in that area on our way over to the Meatpacking District, then ended the night at Exit, this huge behemoth of a night club over on the west side of the city. It’s an all-night affair kind of place, which we discovered as we came up out of the subway back across the street from my apartment at about 7am with the sun in our eyes. Oops. And then we had to turn right back around and drive to LaGuardia so they could catch their flight home, fresh off our no-sleep escapades. Double oops.

Fortunately driving through Sunday morning Manhattan at 8am-ish is much less crowded than driving through, say, Friday afternoon Manhattan at 5pm-ish, but still. It’s driving through Manhattan nonetheless. And this was after a night out on the town with zero minutes of sleep. So at one point, I heard A shout from the passenger seat, “Red light! Red light!” What?? Where, what are you talking about? Oh shit! Right HERE!!! Yes, I was steering us directly through a huge intersection at which I had a red light, and I didn’t even know it at all. I had fallen completely asleep at the wheel, WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN. Triple oops.

Obviously we all made it to the airport in 1 piece and they arrived safely back in Madison, even after having to sleep on some garbage bags on the floor of O’Hare at one point. But damn if that wasn’t one of the craziest trips ever. The whole drive home from LaGuardia I was just waiting to careen off a bridge somewhere or crash full into the side of a huge building, because without a trusty sidekick, who was going to hold my eyelids open? Note to self – SLEEP next time.

 

 

 

(Semi-)Blacked out to stand against SOPA/PIPA

Why the black bars up in the corners today? you may be wondering. A day of mourning? Not exactly.

Without completely blacking out my site (i wanted you to still be able to see me! well, and to give a little explanation of what’s going on, too), I’m joining thousands of others to put the Internet on strike for a day in an act of protest against the proposed Internet censorship bills SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act in the House) and PIPA (Protect IP Act in the Senate). SO-what?

Essentially these 2 controversial pieces of legislation aim to put control of the Internet in the hands of the government and corporations, namely the entertainment industry. They claim it’s to try to crack down on rogue foreign websites and Internet theft, but a core goal of these bills is really to get people to maybe buy more Hollywood movies. What the what? Yeah, I know, that’s what I thought too.

There are, of course, many more intricacies to and repercussions of these bills, and my synopsis above barely scratches the surface. Please watch this video for an excellent recap of what may happen if this legislation does pass.

If you’d like to join me in the protest, head on over here and here for details and to email Congress to stop the bills. For the sake of retaining my freedom to keep my blog as I know it, thank you!

 

I want to run

The changes are big, bigger than I even expected.

I’m left alone, and it makes me nervous.

Feeling crushingly overwhelmed, actually.

I don’t know this feeling, and I don’t particularly like it.

It’s not my friend. It doesn’t suit me.

I wear confidence and happiness much, much better.

It makes me want to run, straight into the arms of something to which I’m better suited and truly enjoy.

But if I ran, would I make it?

Could life as we know it survive, be ok, and even grow?

Or would we stumble, fall, and ultimately fail?

Do I have the courage to risk it?

I don’t think so. No, not yet.

Do I want to? Absolutely.

Someday.

But perhaps not now.

Perhaps now isn’t the time, but it’s out there.

Waiting for me someday. Someday hopefully soon.

Not hopefully – it will be. Soon.

I will make it so.

But not yet.

I want to run, but I must be smart.

Know what I have and be thankful I have it. For now.

An opportunity? I can’t see it as that yet, but maybe.

Don’t run.

But I still want to…

 

 

Karma

I must have done something to really tick her off, because man, am I having some bad juju over here. And just in time for the holidays, whee!

First off, I was just thinking the other day how happy I am that my skin is nice and clear right now, seeing as so much of it will be bared on the beach in just a few days. It may be pasty, but hopefully that will be remedied soon, and at least it’s blemish-free. Ha! Not so fast there, young lady. When what to my wondering eyes should appear yesterday morning? A nice big zit, right in the middle of my chest. Come on, gross! And just in time for bikini season, too. Fan-flippin-tastic.

Next up? This ridiculously terrible cold I caught a few days ago, which has allowed me only 1 workout this week. 1 week before I strut around in my new bikini, mind you. I started feeling a little lousy on Monday, and since then things have gone downhill at a rapid speed. I got some Sudafed yesterday, though, to try and get my head cleared before I have to endure the pain of changing cabin pressures on airplanes this weekend. Hopefully it will kick in in time to banish the worst of it.

I also took NyQuil last night so I could get some sleep. Ah, NyQuil, it’s been so long. I couldn’t take it while pregnant or nursing, and fortunately since then I haven’t needed it. See – right there. That’s where Karma got me. Just the other day I was thinking again (maybe that’s the problem – i should just stop thinking!) how it’s been a really long time since I’ve been truly sick, because R was going into the doctor for a physical and weird headaches he gets all the time. I was musing that he seems to get sick a lot more often than I do, then whaddya know? BAM! Who’s sick now, kid?

And just to top things off, my friendly monthly reminder of how magnificent it is to be female kicked in this morning. Yay!! Just what I always wanted – a Hawaiian vacation with my bestest pal. She really is such a treat and an absolute joy to be around. Especially when I’ll be wearing a bikini more often than not this coming week. Ah well, c’est la vie, non?

So, Karma, please let me know what I can do to get back on your good side. Because this right here? Not so nice. No matter what you throw at me, though, I’ll keep my chin up, because I have this to look forward to in 2 short days…

 

 

When it rains, it pours

Ok, hmm. I’m not really even sure where to start with this one; I’ve just got a lot of shit swirling around in my head right now. So this is going to be one of those brain drains again. It’s your lucky day! Buckle your seat belts, this could be a bitchy ride.

First of all, sweet baby D has hand, foot, and mouth disease. What? Gross! I know. She developed a bunch of little blister-like sores on her hands and feet starting Sunday morning, and her legs and arms had more tiny red dots all over them that weren’t raised. Some of the hand/feet sores looked pretty nasty, almost puss-filled, so that prompted me to call her doctor yesterday. Diagnosis confirmed – the doctor found some little sores on the roof of her mouth that I hadn’t seen in there, so that solidified it. Awesome. And since it’s viral, there are no antibiotics, so we just wait it out. Double awesome. So I’m home with her today because doctor’s orders were a day out of daycare. Oh wait, that part’s a good thing. I’m certainly not missing my desk at work right now.

Next, I found out some most ridiculous news yesterday. So we have this big trip to Hawaii planned over Christmas. Ok, cool. It’s all of us on my mom and stepdad’s side – me, R, and D; my sister and her husband; my other sister; my mom and stepdad; and his 2 kids. Well, youngest sister announced to my mom yesterday that she’s now not going. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh wait, it gets better.

Why isn’t she going? Um, well, apparently last week sometime her boyfriend’s ex dropped their 2 kids off at my sister and boyfriend’s apartment and left. So now my sister has had to quit her once almost-full-time job to stay home and babysit these kids all week while her boyfriend works like 12 hour days, then he watches them on weekends while she has picked up a new Saturday/Sunday part-time job. And they’re moving into a slightly bigger apartment this weekend I guess to accommodate the new uh, living situation.

Ok couple things here:

1. I love my sister more than she could possibly know and only want her to be happy, but what?? Am I crazy for being shocked by all this? They’re almost-27 and almost-26, and now she’s suddenly playing pseudo-mom to a 6- and 5-year old? Shit, if someone dropped 2 kids off on my porch and said “see ya”, I’d be a little pissed, donchya think?

2. Without getting into all the specifics, there have heretofore been some extenuating circumstances that prevented boyfriend from even seeing his kids. And now he has them full-time? If that doesn’t qualify for things that make ya go hmm… I don’t know what does. What’s gonna happen when the ex flips a switch again and suddenly wants them back? I said I feel worst for the kids in all this – they don’t deserve to be shuffled back and forth between 2 apparently inept parents, who were basically kids themselves when they were born. (i’m not knocking all young parents here, but at age 19 you are still a kid, whether you’re a parent or not)

3. I’m afraid my sister is going to quickly find out she might be in just a little over her head with all this. She’s admitted that she’s pretty overwhelmed, since this all got dumped in her lap, turning her life upside down in kind of the blink of an eye, and without her asking for it. I mean seriously – being home with these kids all day, walking them to/from school (after getting them enrolled, that is, which could be difficult in and of itself when lacking any sort of legal guardianship), etc., etc., starting like RIGHT NOW?

4. I just hope she’s truly ok. Fortunately my other sister and brother-in-law live pretty close to them, so she’s made sure to let her know they’re there if she ever needs them. Apparently youngest sister sounded remarkably calm and accepting of the whole shebang when they spoke today, so I guess that’s kind of comforting. Kind of?

I give my other sister credit, though. When she told me all this before going to talk to youngest, I wanted to teleport out there and punch youngest and boyfriend in the face. Or at least send a nasty text. I’m glad I reigned in my immaturity and refrained, though. That’s a first.

Ok, what’s next? Oh yeah – my dad. He’s engaged. HA! Again, what?? Yeah I know, I told you – downpour. I have mixed feelings on this one. I do really like the woman to whom he’s engaged (they’ve been together off and on for close to 2 years, almost the whole time he’s been out of prison). She’s nice, she’s normal, she’s grounded, she has grandkids of her own and is wonderful with D, and she is a really good influence in my dad’s life. Essentially a 180 from the woman he married after my mom, a psychotic nightmare of a bitch. Trust me, that description is 400% warranted. This current one? Complete opposite and such an amazingly refreshing change.

But here’s the odd part. They were broken up – like him moving all his stuff back out broken up – over the summer and up until about 2 months ago, now just that like he’s moved back in and they’re engaged? Huh? What’s the rush? They’ve both been married multiple times now, so why dive into matrimony again? Plus, neither of my sisters have met her yet, which I told him he needs to give them another chance to do before they actually tie the knot. Not doing so would be incredibly rude and selfish, in my opinion.

Also, she was in the dark about his drinking again even longer than I was. We were talking about it when I was down in Peoria the other weekend, and she didn’t even know about it until what sounds like shortly before they got back together this time. Now, she’s been through a couple bad episodes with alcoholics, so she’s not willing to put up with any more shit if my dad’s on the sauce. He drank a lot at my sister’s wedding in September, which I know was uncomfortable for pretty much all of us. But it was his choice, and it still wasn’t like it used to be. After that trip I told him how I hated his drinking again and showed him what I’d written after D’s birthday party when he was at our house this summer, so hopefully he took my words to heart. He doesn’t drink when we’re with him now, which is an improvement. And I know his drinking at home is significantly reduced as well. A beer here or there? Fine, that’s totally normal. And fortunately his fiance won’t tolerate much more than that anymore. So there’s that.

Next up? Shit at our house. We’ve been working on the damn thing for over 4 years now, and it just won’t end. Nothing like home “owership”, eh? And we’re so frickin’ close, I can’t stand it! We’ve been working on one particular thing for a couple months now, and we just keep failing to get it done. Come on already! I just want to have a finished home for our little family that I can actually see us living in and growing in for at least a couple years to come.

Welp, I guess that’s about it. Thanks for listening again.

 

 

Deck the… humbug?

As you might know, we’re not going to be at home for Christmas this year. We’ll be traveling. And although it will be a most radical trip, it’s just kind of thrown my whole holiday spirit out of whack this year.

 

I didn’t really feel like getting a Christmas tree, since I’ll probably want to have it taken down before we leave anyway. (we did end up getting one, just a tiny little guy this year. even so, i did manage to get almost all of my favorite ornaments crammed on there. but only 1 strand of lights)

 

 

I really haven’t gotten out any of our other interior decorations, save a winter scene nightlight in the hallway and our mistletoe ball in the kitchen. We have some great advent calendars that I love dearly, but even they remain in the decorations cabinet in the basement because I just didn’t feel like hanging them up this time. Oddly, I felt like the days that didn’t get put up before we left would be lonely. (i know, i’m weird. that’s nothing new) Plus D got 2 chocolate advent calendars from relatives this year, so those have sufficed and fueled her new-found sugar addiction.

 

I did wind our pre-lit garland around the front lamppost and string the real stuff from my grandparents along our porch rails, because I absolutely adore white Christmas lights outside. But the little tree lights to line the walk will have to wait for another year.

 

(please pardon the fake snow. i was just having a little picnik fun)

 

I’m not even really in the mood for presents this year either. I usually love passing out everyone’s gifts on Christmas morning and reveling in the holiday spirit, but just the thought of trying to come up with something for people is kind of grating on my nerves right now. I’m at a total loss for most everyone, and since we’re traveling I don’t really even know if we should do gifts at all. Ugh.

 

At least a lack of decorations means a little less clean up this year, right? I won’t have to traipse around come the start of the new year taking down all the festive flair and making each room seem a little less magical than when it wore its holiday best, which is always kind of depressing. And since the tree only has 1 strand of lights, I won’t have to mess with tangling and untangling all of those as I try to unwind them from said tree and get them back in storage without ending up with a giant National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-sized knot.

 

I guess one other good thing about a pint-sized Christmas tree and minimal decorations is that most of my upkeep and cleaning this year simply consists of telling D, “We don’t touch the Christmas tree. Just wave hi to him.” And yes, that’s worked just fine so far to keep pine needles off the floor, believe it or not.

 

Anyone have a cup of holiday cheer I could borrow? Something bubbly and slightly alcoholic would do splendidly.

 

 

I’m sharing my holiday home decor (or lack thereof!) and cleaning tips for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls and Great Cleaners.