Roaring ’20

2020, man. What the fuck happened??

The year started off so great: A new decade! So exciting! So hopeful! The next 10 years! Remember?

That train went off the rails pretty quickly, eh?

A global pandemic that’s killing millions. Mother Nature hating humankind – raging wildfires, a million hurricanes and tropical storms, floods, blizzards. Murder hornets. Swarming locusts. Economies on destructive roller coasters. Widespread unemployment and shuttered businesses. The bastard racism alive and well. Nationwide protests. An election that tested the foundation of this country and shook us to our core. Holidays spent mostly apart from family and friends physically but connected electronically. Social distancing. Zoom. Virtual. Synchronous. Asynchronous. Wear a mask! A new normal.

Safer at home and lockdown last spring were actually not that bad. As I’ve said time and again, being home and not having to load all 5 up to go anywhere is my specialty. The big 3 did great with virtual school during that time and got a couple chances to connect with their teachers again by the end of the school year, even though we weren’t in classrooms anymore.

{If you’d like a little year-end review of those posts, here’s what happened during weeks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and post.}

However.

As summer vacation rolled in and our normally relaxed, unscheduled days dawned, the coziness of all 7 of us being at home together got a little less cozy by the hour.

If I heard, “I’m on a call!” once more… If the boys ran through the house at top speed and crashed into something or each other once more… If the girls bickered over who went first for whatever or got to control the remote to watch whatever or just whatever whatever once more…

As a normally very even-keeled person, experiencing a constant, humongous range of emotions became exhausting. Happy! Crabby! Chilled out! Angry! Elated! Enraged! Loving! Crying! Laughing! I lost my shit more times than I have in my entire adult life before March of this year, and I began questioning things that I held as rock solid in every aspect before the stretch of time that was 2020. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t kill 1 or more of us daily.

Actually, wine. It was probably wine that saved all of our lives.

I kid. Kind of.

I had also planned to finally take all 5 kids to Canada with my mom and sisters for a vacation this summer, but obviously that didn’t happen with the border closure. We did take a couple of shorter trips within the Midwest, though, so those helped to get the ants out of our pants a little. And then Ryan went back to work in his building in August, and we started to slide back to a slightly reduced level of insanity. And rage on my end, I won’t lie.

As you know, when school started again in September we chose to keep the big 3 fully virtual. With the success they’d had at home last spring and the complete uncertainty of how everything was going to play out with in-person schooling and the spread of covid-19, we felt it was right for us. Fortunately it’s worked out great so far, with each grade having enough students choose fully virtual that each of their classes has a dedicated fully virtual teacher, not splitting her time between those students in class and those on screen. And again, that not having to get everyone out the door at a certain time each morning thing… I’ve gotten very used to it! We get to choose virtual/in person by quarter, and I think we’re going to stick with fully virtual all year. The kids all love their teachers, as do I; they’re doing an excellent job; and they haven’t missed a beat instruction-wise or socially.

And now here we are, the calendar about to flip yet again. The kids and I did get a little in-person family time before Christmas, and the rest of this holiday season we enjoyed here at home, the 7 of us together. I definitely don’t have the same excitement going into 2021 as I did coming into 2020, but I do have a take-it-as-it-comes attitude. I think that’s what 2020 taught us; well, me, at least – you have absolutely no idea what’s heading at you next, so take it as it comes as best you can. I count my blessings daily (literally, believe me!) that we all have our health, Ryan still has his job, I am still able to be home full time with the kids, the roof over our heads is still standing, and we can put food on our table.

(*click on each image in the gallery to enlarge it*)

So, 2021, here we come. 2020, you can fuck off. We survived you, and we’re thankfully still going. As my grandma says, “Cherish the days. March on.” That, and I just restocked the wine cellar.

Post-great shutdown of 2020

So, what have we been up to since our safer-at-home order ended 2 weeks ago? Oh, you know, eating at restaurants every day, playing at crowded parks, swimming at the beach with everyone else, hanging out in groups larger than 10 inside peoples’ houses… All without wearing masks! Freedom!!

Jokes.

It’s actually been much of the same as before, since we’re still really not going anywhere. And don’t worry, we do wear masks when we go out. The big 3 wound down the school year, which is always so hard to believe; Ryan is still working at home through the end of this month; and we’re going on a little 4-day trip to kick off our true summer vacation.

This school year end just felt so heavy without having been in the classroom with the teachers for the last 3 months and with everything else going on in the world right now. Especially Morrison’s. The end of K4 is always hard on me, but this one was incredibly so. Plus the teachers all made an amazing farewell video for the kids, which about killed me to watch. Lots of tears, lots of tears.

He couldn’t wait to finish the last 2 letter projects that were sent home in his bag from school!
Then and now!
His last K4 class video meeting 🙁
Then and now 🙂
Last video meeting of 1st grade 🙁
Last video meeting of 4th grade 🙁

Thankfully we were able to see most of our teachers during the last couple days of school, which was so great. I sent them all pictures of the kids holding the bouquet of peonies and weigela flowers that I normally send in for them during the last weeks of school but obviously couldn’t this year. Morrison’s K4 teachers are 2 of my most favorite people ever, so it was absolutely wonderful to see them again. Lana’s 1st-grade teacher was a fantastic fit for her, and she said again how amazing, creative, and incredibly smart Lana is. She said Lana was, by far, the best artist on Seesaw (their class’s online platform for virtual learning), and I agreed that her creations impressed me every single morning. She even said how quickly Lana’s mind works and that she’s like a sponge when it comes to learning – constantly wanting to know more. That made my heart about explode with pride, and I told her that fits perfectly with what Lana’s already said about not wanting to have summer break because she’ll be bored without school. Lana and Morrison even started their summer workbooks before the last day of school! Della was sad that we didn’t get to see her teacher in person but she wrote a very heartfelt reply to the flowers email, and I know she and Della will definintely miss each other.

Morrison turned 5 at the end of May and we had a surprise guest for the celebration, but that will be a post unto itself. The big 3 have been playing outside with friends again, something they weren’t able to do before the safer at home ended. That always makes their days fun. They also had virtual Family Campout Day, since they usually have a campout day at school during the last week. This year the teachers posted links and videos for all the games and activites, which ended up being a lot of fun. We got everything to make s’mores like they always do at school but didn’t end up getting to them until that Sunday, but I said that was the nice thing about having virtual Campout Day on a Friday – we could make it last all weekend.

We also witnessed the intense resurgence of Black Lives Matter protests nationwide in the wake of the murder of George Floyd by Minneapolis police, which was incredible to see. We were even put under a curfew for a couple nights in a row as it all played out in Milwaukee. I talked to the kids about why it was going on, why no person is better than another simply because of the color of their skin, and how I’ve never understood why people with peach skin (what they call white people) thought they were better than or in control of people with brown skin. We watched the CNN/Sesame Street town hall video that dealt with racism, and the girls were very interested. When I told them why all this was being brought to attention right now and what had happened to George Floyd, Lana asked, “But aren’t the police supposed to help us?” I made sure to emphasize that yes, the police are supposed to help and to never be afraid to ask them for help if you need to. Only a small number of police officers are bad, just like not every person is bad, but those bad police are the ones doing all these horrible things and need to be stopped.

No one should ever be made to feel less than or hurt or in danger just because their skin is a different color than anyone else’s. I walked in a protest march here in our village, and the kids were very interested about what we did, what our signs said, what we chanted, why we did it. I could especially see Della’s gears turning, trying to make her own sense of it all. I asked if the kids with brown skin in her class ever seemed to be treated differently or got different attention or acted differently, and she said no. Then Lana made up a little song that went, “It doesn’t matter what color your skin is, it doesn’t matter what color your skin is, as long as you always have fun!” And that night Morrison typed in a little document full of emojis that I keep on my phone that he likes to add to every once in a while – “Don’t be mean to different color people” and “Stop being mean, police officers!” I hope that the skin color blindness they know now stays with them forever. The racism in this country must end, and a lot of it is going to be up to their generation. I hope this recent momentum is sustainable and that one day (soon??) every person is truly seen as a person and treated as equally as her neighbor.

I actually found this little note Della wrote in her document on my phone just the other day without me knowing it, and it made me so proud: No matter the color of your skin, black, brown, peach, white or tan; we are all equal. So all the people that see this message (which won’t be any) please don’t judge someone by the color of their skin. The only thing that matters is the way that they act. We are all equal. 👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩‍💼👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓 NO RACISM!

Umm… what else? My gardens have made me so happy this spring, and I still stand by my claim that everything is blooming more vibrantly than usual this year. I finally figured out that the flowering bush in the corner of our back yard is a weigela, and I actually saw a hummingbird feeding on it for the first time the other day! I was thrilled, because I have never seen one back there before. I read that weigelas are attractive to butterflies and hummingbirds, so I hope they come back! Our special birthday visitor helped me add some beautiful planters to the front steps (the white pitcher and pots were my great-grandmother’s!) and I got new outdoor pillows for the porch, so I love the little space I’ve created out there now. Lana got her turn with a Zoom birthday party, and they even dropped off a treat for everyone beforehand! I’ve made some more bags and added 2 new styles that I love to my repertoire. I haven’t made any more masks yet, and I think I’ll wait to see if the kids will need them for school next year before I spend more time on those.

So here we are. Post the (first) great shutdown of 2020, and thankfully we all stayed healthy through it. Unfortunately, COVID cases in Milwaukee County shot up 21% in the first week after we reopened, so we’ll see where that goes. Virtual schooling worked out so well for us, but I do hope the kids can go back to school in the Fall. I know both they and the teachers will be heartbroken if we don’t. Or at least a combination of in person and virtual – I think that face-to-face interaction is vital.

I have 2 bleeding hearts that are half white flowers and half pink flowers!

This post feels like a hodge-podge conglomerate recap compared to my weekly shutdown posts, but that’s just kind of how these past couple days have been. Getting everything done as best as I can, keeping track of all the last days of school to-do items and trying to make it as fun as it usually is, processing the emotions of everything happening around us right now, and making it all work through my ever-present exhaustion. So thank you for bearing with me here and following along through those 10 weeks of much more pleasantly organized summaries. It’s been a trip, that’s for sure. And now a hurricane is moving up through the Midwest. Seriously, 2020 has been a year like nothing I have ever experienced so far. I can only imagine what the rest of it has in store…

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 10

Week 10?? Double digits. We’ve been under the safer at home order, which just expired last night, for 10 weeks. Crazy. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I’m ready to have everything open back up. I like being home, knowing we’re staying safe and not needing or really wanting to go anywhere. Like I said in the first week of all this, that’s kinda my thing.

I have a feeling all these extraordinarily smart, wise leaders of ours will be a little sorry rushing to open everything back up this soon, especially since new cases and deaths continue to rise even in our area, but hey, who am I to suggest anyone use common sense anymore? </sarcasm>

But anyway, back in the land of Rau… Last weekend brought us a whirlwind of weather, with Saturday keeping the sun of Friday but not quite the warmth, then the start of over 5″ of rain on Sunday. Thankfully I got the rest of the mulch and plants I needed on Saturday, got them all in, then mowed both yards next door and trimmed those front bushes before the rain fell down. The only thing I’m missing is a big hanging basket for the front shepherd’s hook. Now we just hope all the new grass seed in our yards didn’t drown.

During the deluge on Sunday, Ryan gave both the girls haircuts – Corona cuts. I’m planning on taking them to my stylist sometime this summer for a little “cleaning up,” but he actually did a pretty good job.

If anyone is still reading, here’s what you’ve been missing:

May 18, 2020

  • Monday class video meetings. I love how they always get to say hi to everyone and share good news from the week or show some of their favorite things – they’re never about lessons or schoolwork, just camaraderie.
  • Morrison’s class got to celebrate the wedding of Q and U (since words are always spelled with QU-, never just Q…), one of my favorite activities during their K4 year. Unfortunately it wasn’t in the classroom for him this year, but he was still excited to wear his bow tie anyway. And he got a piece of gum from Della as an extra piece of candy after dinner, since we didn’t have any wedding cake.
Wedding dancing!

May 19, 2020

  • I made my first mask today, and it turned out pretty well. I already have one cloth one and the kids have some nice felt ones with actual respirator valves that Ryan got them, but if they do go back to school in the fall and have to wear masks, I want them to have at least a couple to swap in and out. I designed the slider knot fastener cord in the back so they wouldn’t have to worry about tying anything behind their heads on their own or elastic ear loops chafing. Plus I don’t have any elastic, so I wanted to be able to use supplies I had on hand. Anybody need one?
  • Lana made us an adorable pizza stand for our nightly movie tonight. And she paid us to take the pizzas – excellent!
Filter pocket between the 2 layers

May 20, 2020

  • The rain finally stopped and the clouds cleared out, so I got to take my new running shoes for a spin. First new pair in 3 years! What the heck?? I think I should’ve tested them with only 3 miles instead of 4, though, because my feet were burning by the end!
  • After my run I got the veggie garden cleared of most of the weeds. We just need to till up the front part to get all the bluebell roots out, but I got all the greens pulled anyway. With my new stone border, this is going to be great this year! And the raspberry bushes survived the winter and are spreading like crazy. I hope we get some good berries this summer.
  • All 3 big kids helped me make dinner, which was a huge help since I detest chopping. They did 2 green peppers and an onion for me – awesome!
  • The big 3 are taking turns sleeping in my bed for some reason, so tonight was Lana’s turn. Morrison was scared without his best bud in their room, so Della helped him out at bedtime. 😉
  • My next bag – these fabrics go so well together!
She made a bee out of 2 cups from a paper egg carton, duck tape, colored paper, and googly eyes!

May 21, 2020

  • Happy birthday, Grandpa – 94, amazing!! I hope, someday!
  • Morrison made me a train show tonight, complete with tickets. I watched it and rode all the way to the west coast then up to Alaska. It was so cute.
  • Tonight was Morrison’s turn for sleeping. And Lana was scared, so into her bed Della went this time. She is such a great kid.
She slept there all night!

May 22, 2020

  • Lana has been working so hard for weeks on her school report on bees, and they finally published them yesterday. She bound it and everything. Tonight we celebrated with dinner from Kopp’s and dessert from Dairy Queen, and she earned all of it! (And I wore my mask picking it all up!) I was so incredibly proud of her, especially since she did all the work 100% by herself. And it was adorable – she dedicated it to Morrison, her favorite brother. 😀 She presented the whole thing to us between the cheeseburger and Blizzard courses.
  • Today was technically a half day for the girls, even though they had the same workload as usual, so Morrison had no school. I didn’t realize how nice that was going to be. Now they are all off Monday for Memorial Day. It seems very strange having a 3-day weekend when we’re not even going to school and most people aren’t currently going to offices for work, but I’ll take it for sure.
  • Tonight is Della’s turn to sleep with me, so hopefully Lana and Morrison best buds survive.

So I guess we’re not technically in a shutdown anymore? The kids are finishing the school year at home, though, and I don’t know when Ryan goes back to work, so I think I’ll keep updating at least for these last couple weeks of school.

I hope I’m proven wrong in my premonition that we will regret ending our safer at home earlier than I think we should, but then again, I’ve been wrong before. Shocking, I know! So stick with me a little longer to see how this great shutdown of 2020 plays out…

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 9

9 times. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

Sound familiar? Yeah, here, too. I’m running out of catchy intros for these weekly updates. I haven’t blogged this much in years! So please bear with me – this one might be a little dry. Sorry, life is happening right now.

I did hear a rumor that we may not be going back to school as usual in the fall, at least not for the first semester. I’m sorry, WHAT DID YOU SAY??? I’m all for staying home, riding this thing out, keeping my family safe, yadda, yadda, but I was so hopeful that the kids would get to go back to our beloved school, sit in class with the teachers they adore and the friends they miss, and learn in a normal setting again. For as well as they are all doing here (thank heavens!!), this is not normal. I think Ryan would be back at work by then, though, so that would make things much easier. We love having him home, but the anxiety of having to keep the twins quiet, under control, and generally not destroying everything as they usually do while he’s on calls and in meetings all day long while the big 3 are in school half the day is getting a little… Tedious? Irksome? What’s a nice way of saying HARD?

But. It’s all just rumors right now. I also heard that the state Supreme Court struck down the Safer at Home order as unconstitutional. I’m sorry, what? We’re 9 weeks in and you’re just deciding this now? Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Has everyone lost their damn minds? See, I told you I was running out of my stunning wit and charm here. Emotions are coming to the surface, and I’m trying so very hard to keep everything under control. I succeed most of the time, but then there are those days like my birthday. Please read back a week for the details. 😉

I did have a fantastic birthday after my mind melt, though, and a truly wonderful, celebratory weekend since Mother’s Day was in there, too. We took a really long walk all together on Saturday for the first time in forever, then I enjoyed some delicious birthday bubbly from a friend and neighbor. Plus, Ryan let me sleep in both days, made me breakfasts and coffee, corralled the twins, generally did a lot of the things that I am primarily in charge of most days when it comes to the kids. So all became right with the world again. Then I got some devastating news from a dear friend a few days later that made me question the higher powers, but she and I decided there is a different underlying plan in action. Time and the universe have interesting ways of working things out sometimes.

This may just be my favorite picture of me with all 5 kids to date. No, Avit is not looking directly at the camera, but he’s also not screaming. 😉

If anyone is new here still, well what the hell, dude? Where have you been?? Kidding. Here’s the recap so you can pretend you know what I’m talking about:

Woah, that list is getting long! Let’s get going on the next one…

May 11, 2020

  • Monday virtual class meetings for everyone, always a high point of the week
  • Ryan had to go into the office for a bit, which allowed me time to FINALLY deep clean the couch and living room rugs with the professional cleaner. Hallelujah! It’s the little things, people. I have fully recognized and accepted the fact that messes and clutter are my triggers, so getting a deep clean like this completed that has been needed for literally months makes me happy. Yeah, I know most of you don’t get that, but I just don’t care. 😉
  • Lana showed me the drawing and description she made of me on the computer last week for Mother’s Day – I loved it!
  • Della had an assignment for which she needed to use measuring cups, so she wanted to bake chocolate chip cookies. Umm, yes you may!
  • Lana wore her “comfy clothes” and declared she wanted to do yoga for an hour each day after she’s done with school. Absolutely, my love, great plan. (I never want to crush a child’s spirit, but that definitely won’t last, ha!)
  • I found another little ghost in the house, just like I did when Della was a baby (click this link to read about that one). This time, his name is Nat. 😀
  • A new bag tonight, one with a special place in my heart. It’s for Lana’s stick family! I used the indoor/outdoor canvas fabric I had leftover from the monster diaper bag project I made when I was pregnant with Morrison, so she chose which colors she wanted and I made it happen. I was tired of them lying all over the dining room table. 😉
Please note the ghost-y handprint in the middle of the picture…

May 12, 2020

  • We were out of frozen pancakes for breakfast, which the twins love and everyone wanted, so I suggested cereal or frozen waffles or anything else that involved minimal effort on my part. Not good enough. Della made everyone pancakes before the 8:00 school start time! I’m loving this. Her enthusiasm for cooking and baking is stronger at age 9 than it has ever been in me. Keep it up, sweet girl!
  • 2 bags made today! Who am I?? I made 1 during naps and 1 after the twins went to bed. So industrious of me. Actually, I just had them in mind for 2 people and wanted to get them off my list and into the mail while I had the chance. These are fabrics I’ve had since my first round of sewing years ago, I’ve always loved them, and I hope the recipients for whom I chose them do, too!
  • Every spring, the rabbits are determined to destroy my beloved tulips. This year, I decided to rescue the fallen soldiers instead of just cursing all the vermin. It actually added a nice little bouquet to my table garden collection.
Avit…
Lunch break at school!
Studious
The taller tulips are obviously on their way out, but you get the idea…

May 13, 2020

  • Oh man, did Lana get in trouble today. My poor, sweet baby girl. I busted her for some inappropriate YouTube viewing, and I have never seen her so upset. You can read the full description of it on her page on here, The Life of L, because I don’t feel like typing it all out again. But I think the lesson was learned, and when I went back tonight and watched all of the videos she saw, there was nothing in them that crossed a major, scarring line. THANK FUCKING GOD!!! I’m not ready for that level of parenting just yet, thankyouverymuch.

May 14, 2020

  • I finally decided what to do with the long garden I created last summer in the back yard next door. I originally thought wildflowers, but had zero luck with the seeds I planted last year. Then the thought of trying them again wasn’t really doing it for me this year. I toyed with the idea of hydrangeas, but I had bad luck with one of those in the front garden years ago. I already have lilacs in the front and lots of peonies in both back gardens, so I didn’t really want more of those. One of my good friends has a great gardening skill set and she recommended rhododendrons for the acidic soil under the pine tree back there, so I gave those a whirl. I got 2 of those, 1 for each end, that will have pink/lavender flowers (already bloomed for this year); 5 Karl Foerster feather reed grasses for the back row; 4 sedum plants for the front row; and I transplanted the last peony bush that was leftover in the vegetable garden area to the near front corner of the garden, because I felt like that end was more spread out than the other end once I got everything in the ground. Now I just need to mulch it and hope everything takes!
  • It was warm and humid today, so all 5 ran around the big back yard like banshees before dinner. They needed that.

May 15, 2020

  • Pretty easy school day for the kids, so we were done early in the day.
  • The weather was gorgeous, so I went for a very warm run.
  • I moved 2 of the new plants I put in yesterday a little to make my new garden look more evenly spaced to me, so now I’m really happy with it. I have mulch being delivered tomorrow, then it’ll be complete!

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 8

Week 8. And my birthday is this week on May 8. Coincidental somehow? I’m not a huge believer in God, per se, but I definitely believe that there is a force much bigger than us ruling the cosmos. I don’t send thoughts and prayers, I send love and good juju. So perhaps these 8s are a cosmic sign of something this week. Or not, we shall see.

It felt like summer this past weekend, with 2 days of 70s and sunshine. It was glorious. Then the temperature dropped 30 degrees in a snap Sunday evening, and we’re back to “spring” in Wisconsin. It was great while it lasted, my gardens are starting to look beautiful, and I just hope they survive these dreary temps again until we can get back to a consistent spring vibe. Oh, and Morrison has discovered Super Mario Brothers. Great, another video game addiction.

The recap, you say? Happy to oblige:

May 4, 2020

  • May the fourth be with you. So corny. Monday meetings for all the kids today, which I know they look forward to every week. Poor Lana was all nervous because we couldn’t get into her meeting at the right time, but it turns out her teacher was just busy preparing lessons and totally lost track of time. I understand that for sure! So they simply hopped on a half hour later, and she’s giving them a bonus meeting tomorrow morning, too. How fun!
  • It’s teacher appreciation week, so they each made a card for their teacher that I photographed and emailed out today. They also all wore their respective teacher’s favorite color to the class meetings today. I so wish they could hug them in person instead, but hopefully these help brighten their days, too.
  • Della pulled out her second tooth in a week, #13. The Tooth Fairy comes again already!
  • Morrison has taken to saying he doesn’t like himself because of his eyelashes lately. The only reason he came up with that is because Ryan told them he cut off his eyelashes when he was a kid because he was sick of his mom’s friends always saying how they loved his long eyelashes. Ugh. So finally I’d had enough of the nonsense and said ok, what is it exactly that you’d rather look like? He said he wanted double eyebrows instead (what?!?), so I said fine, I’ll give you double eyebrows, and I’m pretty sure you’ll then realize you are perfect just the way you are. He did. 😉
  • I made my second makeup bag tonight, and it did turn out a little better than the first one. They are a bigger pain in the butt to make than I expected, though, so I’m not sure how many more I’ll get to.

May 5, 2020

  • Happy Cinco de Mayo! Man, could I go for some margaritas right now…
  • The twins absolutely love doing all of Morrison’s counting songs after his morning meeting videos. I said they’ll be pros by the time they get to K4!
  • I totally screwed up and forgot all about Lana’s bonus video class meeting today. I felt so bad! She was so excited to get to see her teacher again and even wore her red outfit again today, which is her teacher’s favorite color. She was so gracious, though, and told me it was ok, it was really for the kids who didn’t get to see her yesterday, and she did get to see her already. My sweet, sweet baby girl, thank you!
  • We got a second (and last!) round of dirt delivered today – 2 yards of compost to go on top of all the topsoil we already spread. I can’t wait to have a yard of grass again!
  • I found another twin tulip, this time in my garden around the front lamppost. I’ve never seen these before, and now 2 have come up in my gardens this spring – awesome!

May 6, 2020

  • Beautiful day today, so I took the kids for a long walk after lunch to be out of the house during an important video meeting Ryan had.
  • Ryan spread all the compost while we were gone this afternoon so we’re ready for seed.
The stuff she draws on the computer is pretty amazing.
Not our painted rocks – Della found this decorated wall on our way up from the beach.
His painted rock is still there!

May 7, 2020

  • Last day of 40 for me, woof
  • Another really busy day for Ryan, so I took the kids on another post-lunch walk. The twins slept more during it today than yesterday, but hopefully they can nap back in their beds tomorrow.
  • Tomorrow night is supposed to be cold enough for frost, so I took some pictures of my gardens today in case they perish. I sure hope not – I’ve worked so hard on my favorite tulips!
  • Now Lana pulled out a tooth today! #7 for her. The Tooth Fairy apparently can’t leave!

May 8, 2020

  • Happy birthday to me! #41. I’ve always loved my birthday, even as an adult and even though we can’t celebrate with anyone this year. I even painted my toenails last night for the first time since last fall to get ready for it. 😀 It started off awesome – Della snuck in and decorated my room before I woke up; she made me a delicious breakfast of a raisin bagel topped with peanut butter, my go-to meal since I can eat it standing and walking around the house 😉 ; all 3 big kids were dressed beautifully – the girls in dresses and Morrison in a very handsome sweater/pants combo; Ryan made me a pot of coffee (even though he used decaf 😉 ); all the big kids made me fantastic books and pictures; Lana made me a garland of snowflakes, which I hung in the dining room; they all got finished with school really early. It was wonderful! Then all hell broke loose, courtesy of the twins, as usual. Ryan was on another call for work, they wouldn’t shut up and were being naughty messing around in the big kids’ room, I put them in their beds for their “time out” spot, and I utterly lost it. I started sobbing and literally hid in the basement pantry, just letting it all pour out. I gave zero shits about being too loud for Ryan’s call. I was holing myself up in a back corner of the basement with no lights on, for fuck’s sake. I think I freaked him and the big kids out because he immediately came down to comfort me and the kids were really quiet when I finally came up, but too bad. I can only take so long of trying to be everything for everyone, I guess. Too bad it all came crashing down on my birthday, of all days. But he put his work on hold so I could go for a run shortly thereafter, which I always need to keep my sanity intact. Then I redid the border of the vegetable garden in the back when I got done with that, which I’ve wanted to do forever. And Ryan and the kids made a hilarious “Honk, It’s Mamma’s B-day!” sign and hung it on the front tree while I was running. Too bad today is freezing cold and windy so it kept blowing down, but after this morning it is definitely the thought that counts. I might put it back up tomorrow, though, because approximately zero cars drove by before I brought it in so it didn’t blow completely away!
  • Snow flurries this morning. What the heck?! I’m used to snow in April now, but never on my birthday before!
  • Friends were supposed to come over for drinks tonight, but since it’s so cold today, we’re postponing that until hopefully tomorrow. **ETA: Ryan surprised me again this year! He invited a bunch of friends over to our yard for a surprise cheers and cupcakes this afternoon. It was so much fun!!**
  • Della pulled out another tooth this morning – #14! What the heck?! Am I not giving these kids enough calcium to keep their teeth in their heads?? Oh wow, and I’m 41 today – palindromes!
  • Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible mothers out there this Sunday. We are pretty damn amazing.

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 7

Here we are, week 7 of this thing. Do I really think it’ll end on May 26? No. Should it? No. Too many people are still acting stupidly, selfishly, and irresponsibly for this to even begin to be over. No infection or death rates have leveled off, erego, I really don’t see an end in sight. I can foresee some restrictions lifting sometime this summer, although we found out yesterday that a lot of our summer rec department programs are already cancelled for this year. I REALLY hope the kids get to go back to school in the fall, but that won’t be the end of it. Will they have to go to school wearing masks? Will the teachers all have to wear masks? For how long? It’s just mind-boggling to think that this may be a permanent new reality, not just a temporary one.

The kids have been going nowhere during all of this, so getting in the car seems oddly foreign. I took the girls in for their monthly lice checks this past weekend, and I only discovered how stir crazy they had gotten once we got in the car and their bizarre conversations began. You’d think they’d never seen the light of day. The only reason I took them is because I know lice was going around right when school shut down, and our good friends just had it. We actually had their last checks on that very first Friday when school closed and they were clear, but I will be forever paranoid about it now that they’ve had it once. Thankfully they were both still clear, though, so now we won’t have to go back until school starts up again someday.

I took Morrison with me to pick up lunch on Monday for his Star Student day, and he also said how weird it felt being in the car since it’d been so long. All 3 of them wore masks, too, when we went out, which they also thought was so strange. I couldn’t agree more, but I’ll do whatever is necessary to keep them safe. Let’s hope we all stay as healthy as we’ve been so far. I can’t fathom losing anyone to this.

So. Here is the ever-growing recap for those just joining us:

April 27, 2020

  • It’s Morrison’s Star Student day! He made a smiley face with his pancakes for a good breakfast to start the day, then he couldn’t wait for their online class meeting to get to answer his classmates’ questions. He got to talk to quite a few friends, including all the teachers, and I think it was almost more fun and special because we got to do it all at home together than when we go to the classroom for it. Then he chose Qdoba for his “restaurant” lunch, and that was a hit all around. He got to play outside, watch Ryan play Cuphead, play Temple Run on his tablet, and generally do everything fun that he wanted all day. I hope it was as special for him as possible. He seemed very happy and even told me he loved me out of the blue at lunch. Man, do I love that kid!
  • I got a new sewing pattern done last night – a makeup bag with vinyl coating on the lining and exterior bottom. I just used an iron-on vinyl to coat my chosen fabrics, which was really easy, but turning it out with the vinyl coating made it look a little more crinkly than I was envisioning. Oh well, it’s still fully functional, and I love the new zipper I got for it. I’ll keep trying, because it could be awesome if I do it just right.
  • Tonight I made another one of the 2-zipper pouches, and it’s my best and favorite one yet. Perfect timing, because it’s finally one for me! 😉
Then and now – awww!
He made his own placemat and traced the settings, napkin, and everything!
More propagating…

April 28, 2020

April 29, 2020

  • Today was something special with the boys, so just before lunch I blew up a new choo-choo train ball pit Ryan got the other day. All 5 absolutely loved it, of course, and they started playing “rain” with the balls on top of the pit. It was great! Then, by the end of the day after naps, the boys couldn’t handle it anymore without a particular level of crazy, so Ryan deflated it. Ah well, fun while it lasted. Poor Morrison has been so stir crazy without being able to play outside with all the rainy weather we’re having, and he keeps getting in trouble for not listening. I feel horrible and try to be as gentle as possible because I know he’s more emotional right now than the girls, but man oh man.
  • Another new 2-zipper pouch tonight. I love these new fabrics I’ve gotten!

April 30, 2020

  • Della pulled out her own tooth first thing this morning! She was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when I woke up, and I thought what in the world? Here she had just yanked out #12!
  • I actually sewed another pouch during the twins’ nap this afternoon. I told the big 3 I just needed that chunk of time to be quiet and by myself so I could get this 1 thing done, so they weren’t allowed to talk to me or ask me anything, ha! Fortunately the sun finally came out during that time, so they were all outside for the rest of the day. Ryan even took all 5 on a nice long walk before dinner.
  • Norwex party with friends on Zoom tonight – fun!

May 1, 2020

  • May – my favorite month! The sun was out again today so I got in a run, and this weekend is supposed to be almost 70. It’s actually starting to feel like spring again.
  • Morrison filled a little bear backpack he made with a bunch of random stuff right before lunch and declared he was going to Colorado. Of course Avit wanted to go, too.

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 6

As we found out last Thursday, we will not be going back to school for the remainder of this school year, and our safer at home order has been extended until May 26. I was hopeful that maybe we’d get those first 2 weeks of June in to get to see teachers again, clean out the kids’ supplies that they had to leave behind, and do all the fun end-of-year things – Spring Sing, school campout day, field trips, giving our garden peonies to the teachers like we always do, that last walk to school on the final day and pictures with everyone, etc. It’s just so completely bizarre how this school year is ending. There’s no closure whatsoever.

I feel especially bad for those students who are in an ending year at a school, but, to be perfectly honest, I feel so sad for Morrison. K4 is just the happiest, most fun preparatory grade possible, and they just got robbed of a third of it getting to be with their teachers and classmates. I’m sorry, but in absolutely no other grade will these kids get as many hugs and blatant, outright encouragement and love as they do in K4. Yes, every teacher at Cumberland that we’ve experienced so far has genuinely loved her and his students, but K4 is something special. And his teacher combo this year hands down cannot be beat. Period. So it truly breaks my heart that he won’t get to see them again in person as their K4 student. I’m just so happy that I picked him up in line every morning when he wanted to be held while waiting for the teachers to come down those stairs and out the doors to greet the classes. Every day I thought oh come on, again?? But every day I then instantly thought you know what, this will end one of these days, and who knows if today is that day. Little did I know that day was going to come way earlier than I could have ever expected. So at least I got those little moments of K4 time in with him while I could. And I wanted to be the helper in his room one more time, but thankfully I was able to be in there once earlier in the year. These little things are what I cherish most.

So. Here we go into week 2 of VLT. The kids are all still really enjoying it, but I know Morrison especially gets bored easily. He loves all the lessons and videos and activities they get each day, but once he’s done with everything and his sisters are still sitting at the table working on their assignments for a couple more hours, his little body gets antsy. I do let him go outside and play whenever he wants when that happens, but of course he adores his big sisters and always wants to play with them. He is very good, though, about going outside and playing with the twins. And so far they’ve all done a great job making sure those 2 stay only in the backyards. I take no chances letting any of them play out front, because they still aren’t that attentive about getting out of people’s way when they pass by on the sidewalk.

I asked the big 3 last night how they felt about not being able to go back to school and having to be home all the time. They said it wasn’t that bad and they like doing school online, but Della said she does miss seeing everyone. I asked if there was anything they felt was bad about all of this, and they said no, it’s fine for them. Morrison of course said he has a bad thing, he gets bored, but see above. I’m making a very conscious effort to ensure they know it’s completely ok and normal to feel very weird and mixed up and even sad about this whole situation. It’s something none of us have ever had to deal with, and I can only imagine what it’s like being a kid right now: All of a sudden your teachers tell you you won’t be coming back to school for a little while, which probably feels like an exciting surprise vacation break, then after a certain point you get bored because you can’t go see your friends or play with anyone outside but your siblings (at least these kids have plenty of those!), it’s hard to understand that you can’t just go see and hug family like you always do, we can’t just go places anymore, you kind of get used to me giving you mini-lessons at home on topics that are new and different from what you usually do at school, then suddenly you have to sit at a computer all morning and do real school lessons but at home. Shit. I’d get antsy and all mixed up, too. So I feel very strongly that I need to keep an eye on their emotions more than anything right now. They really are doing an excellent job adapting through all this with basically no push-back at all, so I make sure to tell them how proud we are of them and how great they’re doing.

This past Sunday almost all the teachers put on a parade and drove up and down every street in the Cumberland neighborhoods with their horns honking and cars decorated with signs for all the students, which was simply the most amazing, wonderful, heartwarming thing right now. We and they definitely needed it, as brief as that face time was. I cried as every single car went by, whether we knew that particular teacher or not! I had to hold Nat in one arm because he decided that then was a good time to become a screming terror, but I waved as mightily as I could with the other one. But due to that and my tears, this was the only picture I got. I really hope they do it again, because I’ll make sure we have some good signs and decorations out next time. The kids didn’t want to make signs or wave their pom-poms for some reason.

And a couple more pictures from this weekend, just because – a block “Welcome Spring” decorating contest and homemade pretzels.

Ok. After all that, here’s the weekly recap for any newcomers:

April 20, 2020

  • Absolutely gorgeous weather today, so they all got out to play after their online class meetings
  • All they want to do in their free time right now is play games and color on their tablets, so after doing such a good job with this VLT, I let them. I know they deserve and kind of need the brainless downtime. As such, many days end looking like the last picture of them here.
  • Remember those old hobbies I mentioned that I was trying to pick up again last week? I actually made time to get to them this past weekend! I had already tickled the ivories when my sheet music arrived last week, then I finally got the courage to bust out my sewing machine again. Yes, sewing. Doesn’t sound like me, does it? Believe it or not, I can actually make some pretty cool stuff. I kind of swore it off after the last project I made, which was just over 5 years ago, but it was a hard, time-consuming beast. All the things I’m doing now are little projects that I used to love making and are relatively quick to pull together. The little bag with 2 zippers is a pattern that I learned almost 6 years ago and loved – when I was making these back then, I made one for pretty much everyone but myself and always wanted one, so that’s one big reason why I’m trying to get back into it. I also made myself a little sewing cart this time that is infinitely handier than having to dig into the front closet every time I want to get to the machine, so that simple little change makes a world of difference in my motivation level. The little bags with 1 zipper are from another pattern I fould all those years ago and just never got to, so here it comes! I’ve found a ton of fabric that I love, so I’m stockpiling it in the hopes that I can make a bunch of these little things and enjoy it again. I have a new pattern I found, too, that I’m anxious to try. We’ll see how that one turns out.

April 21, 2020

  • We had 5 yards of topsoil delivered today to level out the back yard and replant all the grass, and the whole time it was dumping out the dirt, the kids were watching from their bedroom window chanting, “We want poop! We want poop!” They said it looked like the truck was pooping. Because of course they did.
  • I enjoyed a baby napping on me for the first time in a very long time, one of my absolute favorite things as a mother. Will it be the last time?
  • Della got both of the twins ready for bed tonight by herself, teeth brushing, diaper changing, and all. Wahoo!! Freedom!

April 22, 2020

  • Happy Earth Day! We were going to do our annual walk this afternoon to pick up trash, but the weather was garbage and I knew I had to work outside while the babies napped, so we’ll do it this weekend instead.
  • Backyard reno got underway, and I cannot wait until we have a regular, grass-covered yard again. I’ve been planning out my cocktail seating area for a couple summers now. I got done what you see in these pictures, then Ryan worked a bunch more after me – added more dirt to that back area, dug out a bunch of small roots still left from when we took down the tree last summer, leveled around the tree area, wheeled in more dirt for the tree area. Hopefully we’ll actually get that mound fully moved into the yard before the weekend.
  • Della baked us a delicious salted caramel lava cake for dessert tonight. I was going to do it because it’s the easiest thing possible – one of those cakes in a bag where all you do is pour it into the pan – but she loves to bake, so I said have at it! It was delicious, and she was proud.
  • I got another pouch sewed tonight, this time for Lana. I got this bundle of really cute fabrics called “Under the Canopy,” which is full of fun little jungle animals and bright designs, and I immediately thought of her with the sloths. And of course she picked snakes and worms for the lining fabric. 😀

April 23, 2020

  • Today was supposed to be Lana’s class field trip to a nature preserve that I was actually going to get to chaperone. And last Friday was supposed to be Della’s big 4th grade–wide all-day field trip to Madison that I was also going to be lucky enough to chaperone, which we obviously missed, too. These are the things I miss most about not having physical school anymore this year. All the fun, in-person things to which nothing else can compare.
  • Morrison gets to be Star Student next week! Tomorrow we’re making a little video of him to submit to his teacher, who will send it out to the class to watch over the weekend, then he gets to present during their class meeting on Monday and answer any questions his classmates have for him. It won’t be anything like his sisters’ Star Student days where they took in decorated posters and grandmas and aunts got to come and we went out to a fun lunch afterward, but we’ll still make it as special as possible for him. I came up with a fun way to present his poster stuff since we don’t have any posterboard, and he gets to request whatever lunch he wants on Monday that we can get via curbside pickup. I think it’s going to be Qdoba – yum!
  • We had another reading session today with Auntie Mer and cousins, and their costumes did not disappoint yet again! So of course these knuckleheads had to dig up their best response – yes, that is underwear on their heads. I read a book back this time, and all I could come up with was Ryan’s double-brat foam hat. Dressing up in costume is not my forte, ha!
  • The weather was cold and rainy today so we didn’t get any more dirt spread, but the kids did have a little outdoor P.E. time – tamping down what we’ve already laid. The big 3 went out and just walked around the back yard to flatten out the dirt, so Ryan and I don’t have to tamp it before laying more. Nothing like free child labor.
  • Today I made Della’s little zipper pouch. She loved it!

April 24, 2020

  • Morrison was bouncing-off-the-walls excited to do his Star Student video all day today, but Ryan had a call during the twins’ nap this afternoon so we had to wait all day until after they went to bed tonight and were fully asleep. But he did so great!! I cut out all the stars this morning, and the girls helped him decorate them and write all the intro words. Since we don’t have any posterboard, he taped all the stars on the dining room wall under all of our family pictures, so he could show all the members of our family and his stars with favorites, personal info, etc., all in one spot. It actually worked out great, and he had so much fun!! I’m so thankful he still gets to have this special piece of K4 even when we’re not at school.
  • I finished spreading the dirt in the back yard and stomped it all down. Yes, it looks like a yard of just dirt right now, but it’s finally level! The finished product of this project will be so wonderful.