Coronavirus – Jocelyn Rau

March 12, 2021March 13, 2021

One year

Today marks 1 year that we have officially been in this global health pandemic (declared as such on March 11, 2020). Friday, March 13, 2020, was the day we learned that school would be closed for a month while everyone tried to figure this all out. Wahoo – an extended spring break!

**Our shutdown spread last year, 3-13-20**

Well, yeah, not quite.

As we all know, our schools stayed closed for the rest of last school year and Ryan worked from home until August. Masks have been mandated since then. Social distancing is now (supposed to be) the norm. Our kids started this next school year virtually and have been so since September. Life as we knew it became a little topsy-turvy.

And we had it easy. Horribly, a staggering 2.6 million+ people have perished from this virus so far worldwide, with over 500,000 of those right here in our own country. Inconceivable.

However, around here…

I *think* things might be starting to change.

I *think* we might get through the worst of this sometime this year if people can just keep their acts together. Yes, still wear your masks. Yes, still stay away from me if we’re strangers and I have no idea what your COVID-19 business is. Yes, still keep gatherings to a minimum.

I *think* I can feel a little hope creeping in that we might all (and by all, i mean all 7 of my immediate family) actually get to the other side of this without getting sick. There is 1 caveat to this coming in a few paragraphs, though, by way of school…

I *think* I’ll feel comfortable enough to do more outside our home and close bubble sooner than later.

There are a lot of factors at play here, though, to make all these *thinks* come true:

We need the vaccines to keep getting here readily and for everyone to actually get them. I’m eagerly awaiting my turn, hopefully come May. That’d be a great birthday present!
We need people to stay smart. Don’t crowd yourselves into a bar, restaurant, movie theater, shop, what-have-you just because you have your vaccine and a mask. Does anyone else around you? Has anyone else around you just been exposed and nobody realizes it yet? Did any of those mask-less patrons next to you just sneeze on your back and you didn’t know it because it’s too crowded?
We need the 3 Ws to stay in play – wear a mask, wash your hands, and watch your distance.

Numbers are encouraging since the vaccines have come out, but we are definitely not out of the woods yet. We are still in this thing, and I just hope enough people keep remembering that to keep us all safe. I’m ecstatic that you’ve gotten both of your doses and are seemingly in the clear for now. I haven’t, though, and neither has my family.

And yes, after 3 full quarters even though I said we’d go back after 1 if everything stayed healthy and open, we are going back to in-person school for the final quarter of this school year. The big 3 had all decided they wanted to stay virtual and with their current teachers for the rest of the year when the school board threw us a curveball – at the start of Q3 a month or so ago, they began the “phase-in” process, whereby all grades eased into a 4-day-a-week in-person schedule instead of the 2-day-a-week in-person blended model. Our whole district is now in person 4 days a week with Wednesdays remaining asynchronous for the remainder of this school year, and so far it sounds like it’s so good.

So we’re gonna give it a shot. Della really wants to be back in the classroom for a little while before moving up to middle school next year, and I know Lana and Morrison want to be at the same school with her one more time. Fortunately Della and Morrison will get to see their current teachers at recess duty (assuming they stay the virtual teachers for their grades) and Lana can still pop into her teacher’s Wednesday office hours since they’ll now be at different schools, because they will all miss their teachers terribly. I’m going to be a wreck! For as much as I can feel the cabin and spring fevers creeping in for all of us and know they’ll love being back at school, I’m going to miss them terribly. These are 3 giant pieces of my heart and soul with whom I’ve been lucky enough to spend every day of the past year. We’ll never have time like this together again. Well, I’m assuming not, but after last year I guess I shouldn’t say that with too much certainty. Wish us luck!

Spring is in the air, and hopefully soon less coronavirus will be, too. This March is definitely different from last March – no 50-lb. bags of flour and beans to stock our basement pandemic shelves, no worrying about running out of toilet paper since all the store shelves were raided and empty, no constant family game nights, no homemade pretzels and countless loaves of homemade bread being made, no cutesie little pandemic art projects. I think we were all over that a while ago. Now we just want to be able to move on for good.

Stay safe, my friends. Stay safe.

**Our 1-year anniversary spread tonight, 3-12-21. Some things don’t change. 😉**

December 7, 2020December 31, 2020

Roaring ’20

2020, man. What the fuck happened??

The year started off so great: A new decade! So exciting! So hopeful! The next 10 years! Remember?

That train went off the rails pretty quickly, eh?

A global pandemic that’s killing millions. Mother Nature hating humankind – raging wildfires, a million hurricanes and tropical storms, floods, blizzards. Murder hornets. Swarming locusts. Economies on destructive roller coasters. Widespread unemployment and shuttered businesses. The bastard racism alive and well. Nationwide protests. An election that tested the foundation of this country and shook us to our core. Holidays spent mostly apart from family and friends physically but connected electronically. Social distancing. Zoom. Virtual. Synchronous. Asynchronous. Wear a mask! A new normal.

Safer at home and lockdown last spring were actually not that bad. As I’ve said time and again, being home and not having to load all 5 up to go anywhere is my specialty. The big 3 did great with virtual school during that time and got a couple chances to connect with their teachers again by the end of the school year, even though we weren’t in classrooms anymore.

{If you’d like a little year-end review of those posts, here’s what happened during weeks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and post.}

However.

As summer vacation rolled in and our normally relaxed, unscheduled days dawned, the coziness of all 7 of us being at home together got a little less cozy by the hour.

If I heard, “I’m on a call!” once more… If the boys ran through the house at top speed and crashed into something or each other once more… If the girls bickered over who went first for whatever or got to control the remote to watch whatever or just whatever whatever once more…

As a normally very even-keeled person, experiencing a constant, humongous range of emotions became exhausting. Happy! Crabby! Chilled out! Angry! Elated! Enraged! Loving! Crying! Laughing! I lost my shit more times than I have in my entire adult life before March of this year, and I began questioning things that I held as rock solid in every aspect before the stretch of time that was 2020. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t kill 1 or more of us daily.

Actually, wine. It was probably wine that saved all of our lives.

I kid. Kind of.

I had also planned to finally take all 5 kids to Canada with my mom and sisters for a vacation this summer, but obviously that didn’t happen with the border closure. We did take a couple of shorter trips within the Midwest, though, so those helped to get the ants out of our pants a little. And then Ryan went back to work in his building in August, and we started to slide back to a slightly reduced level of insanity. And rage on my end, I won’t lie.

As you know, when school started again in September we chose to keep the big 3 fully virtual. With the success they’d had at home last spring and the complete uncertainty of how everything was going to play out with in-person schooling and the spread of covid-19, we felt it was right for us. Fortunately it’s worked out great so far, with each grade having enough students choose fully virtual that each of their classes has a dedicated fully virtual teacher, not splitting her time between those students in class and those on screen. And again, that not having to get everyone out the door at a certain time each morning thing… I’ve gotten very used to it! We get to choose virtual/in person by quarter, and I think we’re going to stick with fully virtual all year. The kids all love their teachers, as do I; they’re doing an excellent job; and they haven’t missed a beat instruction-wise or socially.

And now here we are, the calendar about to flip yet again. The kids and I did get a little in-person family time before Christmas, and the rest of this holiday season we enjoyed here at home, the 7 of us together. I definitely don’t have the same excitement going into 2021 as I did coming into 2020, but I do have a take-it-as-it-comes attitude. I think that’s what 2020 taught us; well, me, at least – you have absolutely no idea what’s heading at you next, so take it as it comes as best you can. I count my blessings daily (literally, believe me!) that we all have our health, Ryan still has his job, I am still able to be home full time with the kids, the roof over our heads is still standing, and we can put food on our table.

(*click on each image in the gallery to enlarge it*)

So, 2021, here we come. 2020, you can fuck off. We survived you, and we’re thankfully still going. As my grandma says, “Cherish the days. March on.” That, and I just restocked the wine cellar.

October 30, 2020

Q1 results

In August, our school district decided we would have 2 options to begin this school year:

A hybrid, in-person model, where students would go to school with half of their class 2 days a week; have virtual learning 2 days a week, where they’d see their teacher in the classroom while s/he teaches the other half of the class, too; then Wednesday is an asynchronous day with only online lessons, no live instruction. Students with last names A-L would be in person on Monday/Tuesday, virtual Thursday/Friday. Students with last names La-Z would be in person on Thursday/Friday, virtual Monday/Tuesday.
Fully virtual, where students would get real-time live instruction from their teacher, not prerecorded online lessons like last spring. Asynchronous Wednesdays just like the hybrid model.
And you only had to commit to whichever modality you chose for 1 quarter at a time.

We chose the real-time virtual learning for the first quarter, mainly because we had absolutely no idea what was going to happen and 1 quarter seemd like nothing. As soon as I heard you didn’t have to choose for the entire school year, my mind was made up. We knew there was better infrastructure in place than last spring when everything shut down, but I was convinced that schools would close within weeks because of spreading COVID-19 cases and everyone would be home anyway. We were wrong, and our district actually stayed open the entire first quarter. At the beginning of the school year I had said that if that happened we would send them back to the in-person option the following quarter, but we’ve decided to keep them home again for second quarter. I know, liar, liar.

Here’s the thing. Although the schools never closed, there have also never been zero active cases AND zero quarantine cases in all the schools. I’ve watched the COVID dashboard that’s released weekly, and there are either some active cases in some of the schools or some quarantine cases in some of the schools, but it has never been zeros across the board. The high school actually went fully virtual for the shortened school week this week because enough teachers/staff are out with it, but that’s the first time for any of the schools this quarter.

Here’s the other thing. We’re going into the usual annual flu season. Put the regular flu germs being passed around on top of the COVID germs? No thanks. I’ve been elated we haven’t had to worry about lice for months – I don’t want to have to start worrying about a nasty viral double decker now. I like having that tiny free space in my brain for other stuff. Like… I forget.

Here’s another thing. The kids are doing great. We had no problems last spring, so I honestly wasn’t worried going into this school year staying virtual. And man, have the teachers stepped up their game! Each grade level had enough students choose the fully virtual option so that there is a dedicated fully virtual teacher (no splitting attention between virtual students and those physically present in the classroom), and it makes ALL the difference. They log onto a live meeting every morning, stay live pretty much all morning, some have a break for lunch then back to a couple smaller live meetings in the afternoon, some are finished after the lunch break, and Morrison has a live closing meeting every day. Personally, I love it. The teachers have done an absolutely amazing job with this setup, whether the platform is Seesaw or Google Classroom, and they have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that they deserve about 100,000x their current salaries forever and ever and ever. What they’ve done to make sure OUR kids are getting the education they need in this time of insanity is nothing short of incredible. Especially since we all know so many of them have their own children trying to navigate these systems, too. And it’s funny – when the school year started, almost every teacher I spoke to who has kids in elementary school was sending them back fully virtually as well.

And to continue on the another thing, to be perfectly honest, I’m being a little selfish, too. Not having the morning onslaught of getting 5 kids up, dressed, and fed; then making sure 3 of said kids are ready for school – lunches packed, snacks packed, water bottles packed, heads sprayed with the lice spray that actually works, runners/rain boots/snow boots/coats/snow pants/hats/mittens/none of the above on depending on the weather, teeth brushed, gone pee and/or poop; then out the door by either 7:20 or 7:35 depending on if we are walking or driving… You have no idea how much that saves my sanity. We get into that routine easily once a school year begins, but just knowing I don’t have to do all of it when I wake up every morning makes it that much easier. And I employ the easy button whenever I can in life. Try it, you’ll like it. I don’t even have to set an alarm clock! The big kids all get up, get dressed, make their beds, get their own breakfasts, brush teeth, and get their school stations set up for the day on their own. The twins? Oh, I’ll be changing their diapers and pouring their milk and raising them forever.

And some more about the another thing. They all love their teachers. Lana’s grade actually had enough students choose fully virtual that her class is half Cumberland and half Richards, her teacher is at Richards, and we pick all her supplies up at Richards on pickup days, so she thinks it’s great that she’s kind of going to another school. 😀 When I asked if they wanted to switch to in-person classes or stay virtual, as soon as they heard that they’d all have different teachers and classmates if they switched to in person, they all wanted to stay virtual. (Yay!) They haven’t missed out on any fun, either, all having had pajama parties, reward parties for good behavior, show and tell, our own fun lunch, costume day and parties for Halloween, etc.

And the last part about the another thing? I love having them here. I get to see and/or hear what they do in class all day, I get to help them if they need it (although I do constantly tell Morrison to sound out his own words when he asks how to spell everything because I wouldn’t be there in his classroom), I get to hear what questions they ask their teachers and how they ask them, I get to hear the silly things they say to their friends and classmates whether on their microphones or in the chats, and I LOVE that they always want to have their own Zoom meeting and chat with each other when the school day is over and all assignments are finished. After their school years they’re going to be gone from this house pretty much forever, so I will soak up these extra days with them for as long as I can. And I remind myself of that over and over again on those days when I want to send them all back to school RIGHT NOW. Trust me, I know how fortunate we are that I’m home with the kids full time and we are able to roll with fully virtual. It’s what works best for us, not everyone.

So. I totally lied about going back to in-person school after everything stayed open and healthy for a full quarter. I truly didn’t think it would happen. On one hand, I’m really happy that all the precautions and rules that are in place are working. But on the other hand, I don’t really trust the upcoming season. Milwaukee just reversed its coronavirus orders and put more restrictions on gatherings, bars, restaurants, sports, etc., since Wisconsin is apparently incapable of getting this shit in check, so I don’t need to have added worry with trying to send our children back to school buildings when virtual is working perfectly for us right now. Plus they’re happy and thriving and their teachers all had nothing but good things to say at their virtual confereces last night, which is the main goal of all this.

2020, you’ve really fucked things up. But I have to thank you, too. I’ve gotten almost an extra year of time at home with these little pieces of my heart, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

June 11, 2020June 12, 2020

Post-great shutdown of 2020

So, what have we been up to since our safer-at-home order ended 2 weeks ago? Oh, you know, eating at restaurants every day, playing at crowded parks, swimming at the beach with everyone else, hanging out in groups larger than 10 inside peoples’ houses… All without wearing masks! Freedom!!

Jokes.

It’s actually been much of the same as before, since we’re still really not going anywhere. And don’t worry, we do wear masks when we go out. The big 3 wound down the school year, which is always so hard to believe; Ryan is still working at home through the end of this month; and we’re going on a little 4-day trip to kick off our true summer vacation.

This school year end just felt so heavy without having been in the classroom with the teachers for the last 3 months and with everything else going on in the world right now. Especially Morrison’s. The end of K4 is always hard on me, but this one was incredibly so. Plus the teachers all made an amazing farewell video for the kids, which about killed me to watch. Lots of tears, lots of tears.

He couldn’t wait to finish the last 2 letter projects that were sent home in his bag from school!

Thankfully we were able to see most of our teachers during the last couple days of school, which was so great. I sent them all pictures of the kids holding the bouquet of peonies and weigela flowers that I normally send in for them during the last weeks of school but obviously couldn’t this year. Morrison’s K4 teachers are 2 of my most favorite people ever, so it was absolutely wonderful to see them again. Lana’s 1st-grade teacher was a fantastic fit for her, and she said again how amazing, creative, and incredibly smart Lana is. She said Lana was, by far, the best artist on Seesaw (their class’s online platform for virtual learning), and I agreed that her creations impressed me every single morning. She even said how quickly Lana’s mind works and that she’s like a sponge when it comes to learning – constantly wanting to know more. That made my heart about explode with pride, and I told her that fits perfectly with what Lana’s already said about not wanting to have summer break because she’ll be bored without school. Lana and Morrison even started their summer workbooks before the last day of school! Della was sad that we didn’t get to see her teacher in person but she wrote a very heartfelt reply to the flowers email, and I know she and Della will definintely miss each other.

Morrison turned 5 at the end of May and we had a surprise guest for the celebration, but that will be a post unto itself. The big 3 have been playing outside with friends again, something they weren’t able to do before the safer at home ended. That always makes their days fun. They also had virtual Family Campout Day, since they usually have a campout day at school during the last week. This year the teachers posted links and videos for all the games and activites, which ended up being a lot of fun. We got everything to make s’mores like they always do at school but didn’t end up getting to them until that Sunday, but I said that was the nice thing about having virtual Campout Day on a Friday – we could make it last all weekend.

We also witnessed the intense resurgence of Black Lives Matter protests nationwide in the wake of the murder of George Floyd by Minneapolis police, which was incredible to see. We were even put under a curfew for a couple nights in a row as it all played out in Milwaukee. I talked to the kids about why it was going on, why no person is better than another simply because of the color of their skin, and how I’ve never understood why people with peach skin (what they call white people) thought they were better than or in control of people with brown skin. We watched the CNN/Sesame Street town hall video that dealt with racism, and the girls were very interested. When I told them why all this was being brought to attention right now and what had happened to George Floyd, Lana asked, “But aren’t the police supposed to help us?” I made sure to emphasize that yes, the police are supposed to help and to never be afraid to ask them for help if you need to. Only a small number of police officers are bad, just like not every person is bad, but those bad police are the ones doing all these horrible things and need to be stopped.

No one should ever be made to feel less than or hurt or in danger just because their skin is a different color than anyone else’s. I walked in a protest march here in our village, and the kids were very interested about what we did, what our signs said, what we chanted, why we did it. I could especially see Della’s gears turning, trying to make her own sense of it all. I asked if the kids with brown skin in her class ever seemed to be treated differently or got different attention or acted differently, and she said no. Then Lana made up a little song that went, “It doesn’t matter what color your skin is, it doesn’t matter what color your skin is, as long as you always have fun!” And that night Morrison typed in a little document full of emojis that I keep on my phone that he likes to add to every once in a while – “Don’t be mean to different color people” and “Stop being mean, police officers!” I hope that the skin color blindness they know now stays with them forever. The racism in this country must end, and a lot of it is going to be up to their generation. I hope this recent momentum is sustainable and that one day (soon??) every person is truly seen as a person and treated as equally as her neighbor.

I actually found this little note Della wrote in her document on my phone just the other day without me knowing it, and it made me so proud: No matter the color of your skin, black, brown, peach, white or tan; we are all equal. So all the people that see this message (which won’t be any) please don’t judge someone by the color of their skin. The only thing that matters is the way that they act. We are all equal. 👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩‍💼👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓👩🏿‍🎓 NO RACISM!

Umm… what else? My gardens have made me so happy this spring, and I still stand by my claim that everything is blooming more vibrantly than usual this year. I finally figured out that the flowering bush in the corner of our back yard is a weigela, and I actually saw a hummingbird feeding on it for the first time the other day! I was thrilled, because I have never seen one back there before. I read that weigelas are attractive to butterflies and hummingbirds, so I hope they come back! Our special birthday visitor helped me add some beautiful planters to the front steps (the white pitcher and pots were my great-grandmother’s!) and I got new outdoor pillows for the porch, so I love the little space I’ve created out there now. Lana got her turn with a Zoom birthday party, and they even dropped off a treat for everyone beforehand! I’ve made some more bags and added 2 new styles that I love to my repertoire. I haven’t made any more masks yet, and I think I’ll wait to see if the kids will need them for school next year before I spend more time on those.

So here we are. Post the (first) great shutdown of 2020, and thankfully we all stayed healthy through it. Unfortunately, COVID cases in Milwaukee County shot up 21% in the first week after we reopened, so we’ll see where that goes. Virtual schooling worked out so well for us, but I do hope the kids can go back to school in the Fall. I know both they and the teachers will be heartbroken if we don’t. Or at least a combination of in person and virtual – I think that face-to-face interaction is vital.

I have 2 bleeding hearts that are half white flowers and half pink flowers!

This post feels like a hodge-podge conglomerate recap compared to my weekly shutdown posts, but that’s just kind of how these past couple days have been. Getting everything done as best as I can, keeping track of all the last days of school to-do items and trying to make it as fun as it usually is, processing the emotions of everything happening around us right now, and making it all work through my ever-present exhaustion. So thank you for bearing with me here and following along through those 10 weeks of much more pleasantly organized summaries. It’s been a trip, that’s for sure. And now a hurricane is moving up through the Midwest. Seriously, 2020 has been a year like nothing I have ever experienced so far. I can only imagine what the rest of it has in store…

May 22, 2020May 22, 2020

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 10

Week 10?? Double digits. We’ve been under the safer at home order, which just expired last night, for 10 weeks. Crazy. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I’m ready to have everything open back up. I like being home, knowing we’re staying safe and not needing or really wanting to go anywhere. Like I said in the first week of all this, that’s kinda my thing.

I have a feeling all these extraordinarily smart, wise leaders of ours will be a little sorry rushing to open everything back up this soon, especially since new cases and deaths continue to rise even in our area, but hey, who am I to suggest anyone use common sense anymore? </sarcasm>

But anyway, back in the land of Rau… Last weekend brought us a whirlwind of weather, with Saturday keeping the sun of Friday but not quite the warmth, then the start of over 5″ of rain on Sunday. Thankfully I got the rest of the mulch and plants I needed on Saturday, got them all in, then mowed both yards next door and trimmed those front bushes before the rain fell down. The only thing I’m missing is a big hanging basket for the front shepherd’s hook. Now we just hope all the new grass seed in our yards didn’t drown.

During the deluge on Sunday, Ryan gave both the girls haircuts – Corona cuts. I’m planning on taking them to my stylist sometime this summer for a little “cleaning up,” but he actually did a pretty good job.

If anyone is still reading, here’s what you’ve been missing:

May 18, 2020

Monday class video meetings. I love how they always get to say hi to everyone and share good news from the week or show some of their favorite things – they’re never about lessons or schoolwork, just camaraderie.
Morrison’s class got to celebrate the wedding of Q and U (since words are always spelled with QU-, never just Q…), one of my favorite activities during their K4 year. Unfortunately it wasn’t in the classroom for him this year, but he was still excited to wear his bow tie anyway. And he got a piece of gum from Della as an extra piece of candy after dinner, since we didn’t have any wedding cake.

May 19, 2020

I made my first mask today, and it turned out pretty well. I already have one cloth one and the kids have some nice felt ones with actual respirator valves that Ryan got them, but if they do go back to school in the fall and have to wear masks, I want them to have at least a couple to swap in and out. I designed the slider knot fastener cord in the back so they wouldn’t have to worry about tying anything behind their heads on their own or elastic ear loops chafing. Plus I don’t have any elastic, so I wanted to be able to use supplies I had on hand. Anybody need one?
Lana made us an adorable pizza stand for our nightly movie tonight. And she paid us to take the pizzas – excellent!

May 20, 2020

The rain finally stopped and the clouds cleared out, so I got to take my new running shoes for a spin. First new pair in 3 years! What the heck?? I think I should’ve tested them with only 3 miles instead of 4, though, because my feet were burning by the end!
After my run I got the veggie garden cleared of most of the weeds. We just need to till up the front part to get all the bluebell roots out, but I got all the greens pulled anyway. With my new stone border, this is going to be great this year! And the raspberry bushes survived the winter and are spreading like crazy. I hope we get some good berries this summer.
All 3 big kids helped me make dinner, which was a huge help since I detest chopping. They did 2 green peppers and an onion for me – awesome!
The big 3 are taking turns sleeping in my bed for some reason, so tonight was Lana’s turn. Morrison was scared without his best bud in their room, so Della helped him out at bedtime. 😉
My next bag – these fabrics go so well together!

She made a bee out of 2 cups from a paper egg carton, duck tape, colored paper, and googly eyes!

May 21, 2020

Happy birthday, Grandpa – 94, amazing!! I hope, someday!
Morrison made me a train show tonight, complete with tickets. I watched it and rode all the way to the west coast then up to Alaska. It was so cute.
Tonight was Morrison’s turn for sleeping. And Lana was scared, so into her bed Della went this time. She is such a great kid.

May 22, 2020

Lana has been working so hard for weeks on her school report on bees, and they finally published them yesterday. She bound it and everything. Tonight we celebrated with dinner from Kopp’s and dessert from Dairy Queen, and she earned all of it! (And I wore my mask picking it all up!) I was so incredibly proud of her, especially since she did all the work 100% by herself. And it was adorable – she dedicated it to Morrison, her favorite brother. 😀 She presented the whole thing to us between the cheeseburger and Blizzard courses.
Today was technically a half day for the girls, even though they had the same workload as usual, so Morrison had no school. I didn’t realize how nice that was going to be. Now they are all off Monday for Memorial Day. It seems very strange having a 3-day weekend when we’re not even going to school and most people aren’t currently going to offices for work, but I’ll take it for sure.
Tonight is Della’s turn to sleep with me, so hopefully Lana and Morrison best buds survive.

So I guess we’re not technically in a shutdown anymore? The kids are finishing the school year at home, though, and I don’t know when Ryan goes back to work, so I think I’ll keep updating at least for these last couple weeks of school.

I hope I’m proven wrong in my premonition that we will regret ending our safer at home earlier than I think we should, but then again, I’ve been wrong before. Shocking, I know! So stick with me a little longer to see how this great shutdown of 2020 plays out…

May 15, 2020May 16, 2020

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 9

9 times. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?

Sound familiar? Yeah, here, too. I’m running out of catchy intros for these weekly updates. I haven’t blogged this much in years! So please bear with me – this one might be a little dry. Sorry, life is happening right now.

I did hear a rumor that we may not be going back to school as usual in the fall, at least not for the first semester. I’m sorry, WHAT DID YOU SAY??? I’m all for staying home, riding this thing out, keeping my family safe, yadda, yadda, but I was so hopeful that the kids would get to go back to our beloved school, sit in class with the teachers they adore and the friends they miss, and learn in a normal setting again. For as well as they are all doing here (thank heavens!!), this is not normal. I think Ryan would be back at work by then, though, so that would make things much easier. We love having him home, but the anxiety of having to keep the twins quiet, under control, and generally not destroying everything as they usually do while he’s on calls and in meetings all day long while the big 3 are in school half the day is getting a little… Tedious? Irksome? What’s a nice way of saying HARD?

But. It’s all just rumors right now. I also heard that the state Supreme Court struck down the Safer at Home order as unconstitutional. I’m sorry, what? We’re 9 weeks in and you’re just deciding this now? Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Has everyone lost their damn minds? See, I told you I was running out of my stunning wit and charm here. Emotions are coming to the surface, and I’m trying so very hard to keep everything under control. I succeed most of the time, but then there are those days like my birthday. Please read back a week for the details. 😉

I did have a fantastic birthday after my mind melt, though, and a truly wonderful, celebratory weekend since Mother’s Day was in there, too. We took a really long walk all together on Saturday for the first time in forever, then I enjoyed some delicious birthday bubbly from a friend and neighbor. Plus, Ryan let me sleep in both days, made me breakfasts and coffee, corralled the twins, generally did a lot of the things that I am primarily in charge of most days when it comes to the kids. So all became right with the world again. Then I got some devastating news from a dear friend a few days later that made me question the higher powers, but she and I decided there is a different underlying plan in action. Time and the universe have interesting ways of working things out sometimes.

This may just be my favorite picture of me with all 5 kids to date. No, Avit is not looking directly at the camera, but he’s also not screaming. 😉

If anyone is new here still, well what the hell, dude? Where have you been?? Kidding. Here’s the recap so you can pretend you know what I’m talking about:

Woah, that list is getting long! Let’s get going on the next one…

May 11, 2020

Monday virtual class meetings for everyone, always a high point of the week
Ryan had to go into the office for a bit, which allowed me time to FINALLY deep clean the couch and living room rugs with the professional cleaner. Hallelujah! It’s the little things, people. I have fully recognized and accepted the fact that messes and clutter are my triggers, so getting a deep clean like this completed that has been needed for literally months makes me happy. Yeah, I know most of you don’t get that, but I just don’t care. 😉
Lana showed me the drawing and description she made of me on the computer last week for Mother’s Day – I loved it!
Della had an assignment for which she needed to use measuring cups, so she wanted to bake chocolate chip cookies. Umm, yes you may!
Lana wore her “comfy clothes” and declared she wanted to do yoga for an hour each day after she’s done with school. Absolutely, my love, great plan. (I never want to crush a child’s spirit, but that definitely won’t last, ha!)
I found another little ghost in the house, just like I did when Della was a baby (click this link to read about that one). This time, his name is Nat. 😀
A new bag tonight, one with a special place in my heart. It’s for Lana’s stick family! I used the indoor/outdoor canvas fabric I had leftover from the monster diaper bag project I made when I was pregnant with Morrison, so she chose which colors she wanted and I made it happen. I was tired of them lying all over the dining room table. 😉

Please note the ghost-y handprint in the middle of the picture…

May 12, 2020

We were out of frozen pancakes for breakfast, which the twins love and everyone wanted, so I suggested cereal or frozen waffles or anything else that involved minimal effort on my part. Not good enough. Della made everyone pancakes before the 8:00 school start time! I’m loving this. Her enthusiasm for cooking and baking is stronger at age 9 than it has ever been in me. Keep it up, sweet girl!
2 bags made today! Who am I?? I made 1 during naps and 1 after the twins went to bed. So industrious of me. Actually, I just had them in mind for 2 people and wanted to get them off my list and into the mail while I had the chance. These are fabrics I’ve had since my first round of sewing years ago, I’ve always loved them, and I hope the recipients for whom I chose them do, too!
Every spring, the rabbits are determined to destroy my beloved tulips. This year, I decided to rescue the fallen soldiers instead of just cursing all the vermin. It actually added a nice little bouquet to my table garden collection.

The taller tulips are obviously on their way out, but you get the idea…

May 13, 2020

Oh man, did Lana get in trouble today. My poor, sweet baby girl. I busted her for some inappropriate YouTube viewing, and I have never seen her so upset. You can read the full description of it on her page on here, The Life of L, because I don’t feel like typing it all out again. But I think the lesson was learned, and when I went back tonight and watched all of the videos she saw, there was nothing in them that crossed a major, scarring line. THANK FUCKING GOD!!! I’m not ready for that level of parenting just yet, thankyouverymuch.

May 14, 2020

I finally decided what to do with the long garden I created last summer in the back yard next door. I originally thought wildflowers, but had zero luck with the seeds I planted last year. Then the thought of trying them again wasn’t really doing it for me this year. I toyed with the idea of hydrangeas, but I had bad luck with one of those in the front garden years ago. I already have lilacs in the front and lots of peonies in both back gardens, so I didn’t really want more of those. One of my good friends has a great gardening skill set and she recommended rhododendrons for the acidic soil under the pine tree back there, so I gave those a whirl. I got 2 of those, 1 for each end, that will have pink/lavender flowers (already bloomed for this year); 5 Karl Foerster feather reed grasses for the back row; 4 sedum plants for the front row; and I transplanted the last peony bush that was leftover in the vegetable garden area to the near front corner of the garden, because I felt like that end was more spread out than the other end once I got everything in the ground. Now I just need to mulch it and hope everything takes!
It was warm and humid today, so all 5 ran around the big back yard like banshees before dinner. They needed that.

May 15, 2020

Pretty easy school day for the kids, so we were done early in the day.
The weather was gorgeous, so I went for a very warm run.
I moved 2 of the new plants I put in yesterday a little to make my new garden look more evenly spaced to me, so now I’m really happy with it. I have mulch being delivered tomorrow, then it’ll be complete!

May 8, 2020May 13, 2020

The great shutdown of 2020 ~ week 8

Week 8. And my birthday is this week on May 8. Coincidental somehow? I’m not a huge believer in God, per se, but I definitely believe that there is a force much bigger than us ruling the cosmos. I don’t send thoughts and prayers, I send love and good juju. So perhaps these 8s are a cosmic sign of something this week. Or not, we shall see.

It felt like summer this past weekend, with 2 days of 70s and sunshine. It was glorious. Then the temperature dropped 30 degrees in a snap Sunday evening, and we’re back to “spring” in Wisconsin. It was great while it lasted, my gardens are starting to look beautiful, and I just hope they survive these dreary temps again until we can get back to a consistent spring vibe. Oh, and Morrison has discovered Super Mario Brothers. Great, another video game addiction.

The recap, you say? Happy to oblige:

May 4, 2020

May the fourth be with you. So corny. Monday meetings for all the kids today, which I know they look forward to every week. Poor Lana was all nervous because we couldn’t get into her meeting at the right time, but it turns out her teacher was just busy preparing lessons and totally lost track of time. I understand that for sure! So they simply hopped on a half hour later, and she’s giving them a bonus meeting tomorrow morning, too. How fun!
It’s teacher appreciation week, so they each made a card for their teacher that I photographed and emailed out today. They also all wore their respective teacher’s favorite color to the class meetings today. I so wish they could hug them in person instead, but hopefully these help brighten their days, too.
Della pulled out her second tooth in a week, #13. The Tooth Fairy comes again already!
Morrison has taken to saying he doesn’t like himself because of his eyelashes lately. The only reason he came up with that is because Ryan told them he cut off his eyelashes when he was a kid because he was sick of his mom’s friends always saying how they loved his long eyelashes. Ugh. So finally I’d had enough of the nonsense and said ok, what is it exactly that you’d rather look like? He said he wanted double eyebrows instead (what?!?), so I said fine, I’ll give you double eyebrows, and I’m pretty sure you’ll then realize you are perfect just the way you are. He did. 😉
I made my second makeup bag tonight, and it did turn out a little better than the first one. They are a bigger pain in the butt to make than I expected, though, so I’m not sure how many more I’ll get to.

May 5, 2020

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Man, could I go for some margaritas right now…
The twins absolutely love doing all of Morrison’s counting songs after his morning meeting videos. I said they’ll be pros by the time they get to K4!
I totally screwed up and forgot all about Lana’s bonus video class meeting today. I felt so bad! She was so excited to get to see her teacher again and even wore her red outfit again today, which is her teacher’s favorite color. She was so gracious, though, and told me it was ok, it was really for the kids who didn’t get to see her yesterday, and she did get to see her already. My sweet, sweet baby girl, thank you!
We got a second (and last!) round of dirt delivered today – 2 yards of compost to go on top of all the topsoil we already spread. I can’t wait to have a yard of grass again!
I found another twin tulip, this time in my garden around the front lamppost. I’ve never seen these before, and now 2 have come up in my gardens this spring – awesome!

May 6, 2020

Beautiful day today, so I took the kids for a long walk after lunch to be out of the house during an important video meeting Ryan had.
Ryan spread all the compost while we were gone this afternoon so we’re ready for seed.

The stuff she draws on the computer is pretty amazing.

Not our painted rocks – Della found this decorated wall on our way up from the beach.

May 7, 2020

Last day of 40 for me, woof
Another really busy day for Ryan, so I took the kids on another post-lunch walk. The twins slept more during it today than yesterday, but hopefully they can nap back in their beds tomorrow.
Tomorrow night is supposed to be cold enough for frost, so I took some pictures of my gardens today in case they perish. I sure hope not – I’ve worked so hard on my favorite tulips!
Now Lana pulled out a tooth today! #7 for her. The Tooth Fairy apparently can’t leave!

May 8, 2020

Happy birthday to me! #41. I’ve always loved my birthday, even as an adult and even though we can’t celebrate with anyone this year. I even painted my toenails last night for the first time since last fall to get ready for it. 😀 It started off awesome – Della snuck in and decorated my room before I woke up; she made me a delicious breakfast of a raisin bagel topped with peanut butter, my go-to meal since I can eat it standing and walking around the house 😉 ; all 3 big kids were dressed beautifully – the girls in dresses and Morrison in a very handsome sweater/pants combo; Ryan made me a pot of coffee (even though he used decaf 😉 ); all the big kids made me fantastic books and pictures; Lana made me a garland of snowflakes, which I hung in the dining room; they all got finished with school really early. It was wonderful! Then all hell broke loose, courtesy of the twins, as usual. Ryan was on another call for work, they wouldn’t shut up and were being naughty messing around in the big kids’ room, I put them in their beds for their “time out” spot, and I utterly lost it. I started sobbing and literally hid in the basement pantry, just letting it all pour out. I gave zero shits about being too loud for Ryan’s call. I was holing myself up in a back corner of the basement with no lights on, for fuck’s sake. I think I freaked him and the big kids out because he immediately came down to comfort me and the kids were really quiet when I finally came up, but too bad. I can only take so long of trying to be everything for everyone, I guess. Too bad it all came crashing down on my birthday, of all days. But he put his work on hold so I could go for a run shortly thereafter, which I always need to keep my sanity intact. Then I redid the border of the vegetable garden in the back when I got done with that, which I’ve wanted to do forever. And Ryan and the kids made a hilarious “Honk, It’s Mamma’s B-day!” sign and hung it on the front tree while I was running. Too bad today is freezing cold and windy so it kept blowing down, but after this morning it is definitely the thought that counts. I might put it back up tomorrow, though, because approximately zero cars drove by before I brought it in so it didn’t blow completely away!
Snow flurries this morning. What the heck?! I’m used to snow in April now, but never on my birthday before!
Friends were supposed to come over for drinks tonight, but since it’s so cold today, we’re postponing that until hopefully tomorrow. **ETA: Ryan surprised me again this year! He invited a bunch of friends over to our yard for a surprise cheers and cupcakes this afternoon. It was so much fun!!**
Della pulled out another tooth this morning – #14! What the heck?! Am I not giving these kids enough calcium to keep their teeth in their heads?? Oh wow, and I’m 41 today – palindromes!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible mothers out there this Sunday. We are pretty damn amazing.