Category: Me Myself & I

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When it rains, it pours

Ok, hmm. I’m not really even sure where to start with this one; I’ve just got a lot of shit swirling around in my head right now. So this is going to be one of those brain drains again. It’s your lucky day! Buckle your seat belts, this could be a bitchy ride.

First of all, sweet baby D has hand, foot, and mouth disease. What? Gross! I know. She developed a bunch of little blister-like sores on her hands and feet starting Sunday morning, and her legs and arms had more tiny red dots all over them that weren’t raised. Some of the hand/feet sores looked pretty nasty, almost puss-filled, so that prompted me to call her doctor yesterday. Diagnosis confirmed – the doctor found some little sores on the roof of her mouth that I hadn’t seen in there, so that solidified it. Awesome. And since it’s viral, there are no antibiotics, so we just wait it out. Double awesome. So I’m home with her today because doctor’s orders were a day out of daycare. Oh wait, that part’s a good thing. I’m certainly not missing my desk at work right now.

Next, I found out some most ridiculous news yesterday. So we have this big trip to Hawaii planned over Christmas. Ok, cool. It’s all of us on my mom and stepdad’s side – me, R, and D; my sister and her husband; my other sister; my mom and stepdad; and his 2 kids. Well, youngest sister announced to my mom yesterday that she’s now not going. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh wait, it gets better.

Why isn’t she going? Um, well, apparently last week sometime her boyfriend’s ex dropped their 2 kids off at my sister and boyfriend’s apartment and left. So now my sister has had to quit her once almost-full-time job to stay home and babysit these kids all week while her boyfriend works like 12 hour days, then he watches them on weekends while she has picked up a new Saturday/Sunday part-time job. And they’re moving into a slightly bigger apartment this weekend I guess to accommodate the new uh, living situation.

Ok couple things here:

1. I love my sister more than she could possibly know and only want her to be happy, but what?? Am I crazy for being shocked by all this? They’re almost-27 and almost-26, and now she’s suddenly playing pseudo-mom to a 6- and 5-year old? Shit, if someone dropped 2 kids off on my porch and said “see ya”, I’d be a little pissed, donchya think?

2. Without getting into all the specifics, there have heretofore been some extenuating circumstances that prevented boyfriend from even seeing his kids. And now he has them full-time? If that doesn’t qualify for things that make ya go hmm… I don’t know what does. What’s gonna happen when the ex flips a switch again and suddenly wants them back? I said I feel worst for the kids in all this – they don’t deserve to be shuffled back and forth between 2 apparently inept parents, who were basically kids themselves when they were born. (i’m not knocking all young parents here, but at age 19 you are still a kid, whether you’re a parent or not)

3. I’m afraid my sister is going to quickly find out she might be in just a little over her head with all this. She’s admitted that she’s pretty overwhelmed, since this all got dumped in her lap, turning her life upside down in kind of the blink of an eye, and without her asking for it. I mean seriously – being home with these kids all day, walking them to/from school (after getting them enrolled, that is, which could be difficult in and of itself when lacking any sort of legal guardianship), etc., etc., starting like RIGHT NOW?

4. I just hope she’s truly ok. Fortunately my other sister and brother-in-law live pretty close to them, so she’s made sure to let her know they’re there if she ever needs them. Apparently youngest sister sounded remarkably calm and accepting of the whole shebang when they spoke today, so I guess that’s kind of comforting. Kind of?

I give my other sister credit, though. When she told me all this before going to talk to youngest, I wanted to teleport out there and punch youngest and boyfriend in the face. Or at least send a nasty text. I’m glad I reigned in my immaturity and refrained, though. That’s a first.

Ok, what’s next? Oh yeah – my dad. He’s engaged. HA! Again, what?? Yeah I know, I told you – downpour. I have mixed feelings on this one. I do really like the woman to whom he’s engaged (they’ve been together off and on for close to 2 years, almost the whole time he’s been out of prison). She’s nice, she’s normal, she’s grounded, she has grandkids of her own and is wonderful with D, and she is a really good influence in my dad’s life. Essentially a 180 from the woman he married after my mom, a psychotic nightmare of a bitch. Trust me, that description is 400% warranted. This current one? Complete opposite and such an amazingly refreshing change.

But here’s the odd part. They were broken up – like him moving all his stuff back out broken up – over the summer and up until about 2 months ago, now just that like he’s moved back in and they’re engaged? Huh? What’s the rush? They’ve both been married multiple times now, so why dive into matrimony again? Plus, neither of my sisters have met her yet, which I told him he needs to give them another chance to do before they actually tie the knot. Not doing so would be incredibly rude and selfish, in my opinion.

Also, she was in the dark about his drinking again even longer than I was. We were talking about it when I was down in Peoria the other weekend, and she didn’t even know about it until what sounds like shortly before they got back together this time. Now, she’s been through a couple bad episodes with alcoholics, so she’s not willing to put up with any more shit if my dad’s on the sauce. He drank a lot at my sister’s wedding in September, which I know was uncomfortable for pretty much all of us. But it was his choice, and it still wasn’t like it used to be. After that trip I told him how I hated his drinking again and showed him what I’d written after D’s birthday party when he was at our house this summer, so hopefully he took my words to heart. He doesn’t drink when we’re with him now, which is an improvement. And I know his drinking at home is significantly reduced as well. A beer here or there? Fine, that’s totally normal. And fortunately his fiance won’t tolerate much more than that anymore. So there’s that.

Next up? Shit at our house. We’ve been working on the damn thing for over 4 years now, and it just won’t end. Nothing like home “owership”, eh? And we’re so frickin’ close, I can’t stand it! We’ve been working on one particular thing for a couple months now, and we just keep failing to get it done. Come on already! I just want to have a finished home for our little family that I can actually see us living in and growing in for at least a couple years to come.

Welp, I guess that’s about it. Thanks for listening again.

 

 

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Deck the… humbug?

As you might know, we’re not going to be at home for Christmas this year. We’ll be traveling. And although it will be a most radical trip, it’s just kind of thrown my whole holiday spirit out of whack this year.

 

I didn’t really feel like getting a Christmas tree, since I’ll probably want to have it taken down before we leave anyway. (we did end up getting one, just a tiny little guy this year. even so, i did manage to get almost all of my favorite ornaments crammed on there. but only 1 strand of lights)

 

 

I really haven’t gotten out any of our other interior decorations, save a winter scene nightlight in the hallway and our mistletoe ball in the kitchen. We have some great advent calendars that I love dearly, but even they remain in the decorations cabinet in the basement because I just didn’t feel like hanging them up this time. Oddly, I felt like the days that didn’t get put up before we left would be lonely. (i know, i’m weird. that’s nothing new) Plus D got 2 chocolate advent calendars from relatives this year, so those have sufficed and fueled her new-found sugar addiction.

 

I did wind our pre-lit garland around the front lamppost and string the real stuff from my grandparents along our porch rails, because I absolutely adore white Christmas lights outside. But the little tree lights to line the walk will have to wait for another year.

 

(please pardon the fake snow. i was just having a little picnik fun)

 

I’m not even really in the mood for presents this year either. I usually love passing out everyone’s gifts on Christmas morning and reveling in the holiday spirit, but just the thought of trying to come up with something for people is kind of grating on my nerves right now. I’m at a total loss for most everyone, and since we’re traveling I don’t really even know if we should do gifts at all. Ugh.

 

At least a lack of decorations means a little less clean up this year, right? I won’t have to traipse around come the start of the new year taking down all the festive flair and making each room seem a little less magical than when it wore its holiday best, which is always kind of depressing. And since the tree only has 1 strand of lights, I won’t have to mess with tangling and untangling all of those as I try to unwind them from said tree and get them back in storage without ending up with a giant National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-sized knot.

 

I guess one other good thing about a pint-sized Christmas tree and minimal decorations is that most of my upkeep and cleaning this year simply consists of telling D, “We don’t touch the Christmas tree. Just wave hi to him.” And yes, that’s worked just fine so far to keep pine needles off the floor, believe it or not.

 

Anyone have a cup of holiday cheer I could borrow? Something bubbly and slightly alcoholic would do splendidly.

 

 

I’m sharing my holiday home decor (or lack thereof!) and cleaning tips for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls and Great Cleaners.

 

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Home?

The house I never lived in, but it always felt like mine.

The land, the courts, the Pine Forest.

Heaven for a kid.

Home?

 

The skyline to which I never gave a second thought while I was there.

But now each time I see it coming in I get a warm sense of belonging.

I never realized how pretty that water tower is.

Home?

 

The road upon which I traveled more times than I can count.

The restaurant, the farms, the hills we passed each time which comprised our over the river and through the woods.

Can it really have been 15 years ago? It feels like yesterday.

Home?

 

The houses of those so dear who are still there, even though mine was gone years ago.

The houses that will always welcome, no matter how far I go or how long I stay away between visits.

The houses of my family, from where I came.

Home?

 

A new house where I now rock my own babe.

One new face with one the same.

The next generation to be raised.

Home?

 

Home.

 

 

 

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Let’s talk about hold music

Shall we? You know, that crap “elevator” music you must endure each time you’re put on hold on the phone. Now riddle me this… WHY on earth must it be so terrible? Always??

 

A few weeks ago while on hold I had to listen to “That’s Just the Way It Is” by Phil Collins, which on its own isn’t too obnoxiously unbearable, but throw it into a never-ending string of mind-numbing shit songs and I was ready to chuck my phone across the room by the end of the first refrain. Then this morning I again found myself on perma-hold, being serenaded by the worst light jazz channel I’ve ever heard.

 

Why do companies think their customers, patients, etc., want to hear note after note after note of horrendous music, when they’re probably already in a bad mood about whatever it is that’s causing them to call in and be stuck on hold in the first place? And who picks this stuff out anyway? I’d like to meet the person who decided that oh yeah, EVERYONE wants to listen to Kenny G for 45 minutes while we ignore their call. I would swiftly kick him/her in the shins and duct tape headphones on them to pump in their nauseating choice of songs.

 

Come on, mix it up a little for us! I don’t know about you guys, but personally, I would LOVE to hear some Snoop Dogg for my “on hold” station. That is my JAM! I would rock the socks off some hold time if I could be rollin’ down the street sippin on gin and juice. Or rockin rough and stuff with my afropuffs – hey rage, rock on wit yo bad self! Yeeeaahh, I could be on hold all day listening to Doggystyle.

 

Seriously, throw us a bone here, on hold music administrators. Like I said, chances are pretty good that we’re going to be pissed off when you finally decide to answer our call in the order in which it was received since we’ve been sitting there so long waiting to either chew you out because some worthless product failed us again or to make an appointment for a procedure that no one in their right mind would enjoy. So it would be in your best interest to not enrage us further by making us want to pluck our eyebrows out with your god-awful music, but maybe try to soften the blow to your eardrums a bit by lightening our mood with a little rock ‘n roll, hip hop, or even some Christmas carols this time of year.

 

But please, for the love of god, PLEASE don’t make me listen to any more Phil Collins. Cuz that’s just not the way it is in my book.

 

 

 

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7 years + 1 week ago

7 years and 1 week ago today, I started my current job. I meant to write about it on the actual 7 year anniversary, but then I just never quite got around to it. So I figured 1 week late isn’t too bad, right?

 

7 years. That sounds like a long time. Does it feel like it’s been 7 years? Yeah, I guess it actually does – R and I got married, we bought a house, we had a baby, and a bunch of stuff in between. My company has been through a lot of changes since the day I started, too. A LOT. We grew immensely. Then the markets around the world crashed and we shrank. Immensely. We’re now going on what, 4 years of cutbacks in my office? 4ish I’d say. And yes, I know how fortunate I am to still have my job. Trust me.

 

This is the job for which I’ve worked my entire financial world career so far. It’s what I longed for when I started on Wall Street, what I found myself daydreaming of when I took that year off to bartend and play, and what I worked my way up to each year since beginning at this company. To be perfectly honest, I don’t see myself going anywhere from here. And that is 100% ok with me.

 

I have the flexibility to leave early enough in the afternoons that I don’t feel like I never see R and D, I get a nice chunk of vacation time each year, I get over a week of paid sick days annually, and we have outstanding benefits. And I don’t want the added responsibility a move up the next rung in the ladder would entail. I don’t want to manage people, I don’t want to manage a portfolio, I don’t want to deal with investors. I’m good at what I do, and I like being right where I am.

 

Funny, though, how now my daydreams are constantly away from my office. Of spending days at home raising D, of not worrying about how many sick days I have left for the year, of not having to make sure there’s someone around who’s capable of covering my work when we go on vacation or I need a day off.

 

Will there be 7 more years for me here? We shall see…

 

 

 

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We have lost our manners

I heard that on the radio the other morning, and I could not agree more. We seriously have lost our manners. “Please.” “Thank you.” “May I?” “Excuse me.” (without being immediately followed by “excuse you” from the other party) Opening and/or holding the door for someone. You know, simple common courtesies that have unfortunately become less-than-common.

 

My sisters and I were raised to use good manners. You say “please” and “thank you”. You address adults by “Mr.” and “Mrs.” You say “excuse me” after you burp or fart. That is, after we were glared at for daring to let out said burp or fart within earshot of others in the first place. You do not chew with your mouth open or talk with your mouth full. You do not rest your elbows on the table while you eat. You write thank you notes after receiving gifts. You look people in the eye when being spoken to. You do NOT talk back, especially in public. You do not lie. And you are overall generally obedient to your parents.

 

And I’m sure this will garner many groans and eye rolls, but for the most part we complied. We were, I think, pretty well-behaved children, and have grown into well-mannered adults. I’m sure my mom can provide plenty of instances to the contrary, but I’m speaking on the whole here. Mom.

 

I’ve noticed so often, though, that kids these days are just shitty. They’re rude, they’re disobedient, they’re immature (yes, even kids can have a certain level of maturity for their age), they’re violent, they’re mean, they’re beyond disrespectful, and they’re just plain jerks.

 

How has this happened? Have manners really become so passé that parents can’t possibly be troubled to instill them in their children? Have we become so technologically advanced, absorbed, and jaded that it’s ridiculous to think we would bother to teach children such basic organic processes as good manners? Just leave it up to the computer or cell phone to do that for us? Is it really that hard? Nope. I don’t think so.

 

And when did this happen? When did it become so taxing to insert an extra word or 2 into your sentences here or there? When did it become uncool to be polite? When did we stop smiling at people as we pass? And god forbid anyone actually nods hello. No! Grumble, grumble, shuffle past. What the? Where are we living?

 

Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I the only one who orders by saying, “May I please have…?”; or says “thank you” to a compliment or good deed; or says “you’re welcome” to another’s “thank you”; or holds the door for someone behind me or someone who needs assistance; or hands someone something they dropped instead of walking by pretending not to see; or actually does try to look people in the eye as I walk by and say “hello”, or maybe just “hey”, but still, it’s better than staring blankly past them like they don’t exist? Am I crazy for doing all these things? I guess it doesn’t really matter if I am, for I’ll still do them. I was taught it’s just what you do. It’s not some big, unusual occurrence, not something that needs to be rewarded with a gold star each day. You just do it.

 

Anyone want to join me on a crusade to re-manner the world? Ok, maybe not the whole world, but at least re-manner our own little corners of it? I fully intend on raising D to use good manners. Nothing would crush me more than to see her growing into one of the foul-mouthed, ill-mannered, bad-tempered little hoodlums I see running around, pissing me off. Because really, that’s not the sign of a truly bad kid. I don’t think kids themselves are inherently rotten. That’s the sign of an extremely poor parenting job.

 

Thank you.