2022, you gaveth and you tooketh away. You gave me a dream job when I didn’t even ask for it, yet you took my last living grandparent from us.
2023, I feel like you’re telling me you’re here for me to prove myself. If to no one but myself. I want to be the absolute best at this job that I possibly can be, while never sacrificing anything as a mom. The kids have always been my top priority, and that will never change. But I can not only successfully have 2 full-time jobs but excel at it. I’ll prove it.
2022, thank you for all the good and for keeping us all safe and healthy. 2023, may you keep us safe, healthy, and happy, and let the good times continue to roll.
ALL 5 kids are in school this year, and that just sounds crazy to even say.
The night before Della and the twins started school…
I still can’t believe the twins are in K4, going through those doors every day, just like their siblings. It definitely feels like the time is right, but it gets me daily seeing them run up the sidewalk to their door each morning with their little backpacks bouncing, then bounding out to me again after their morning session is done, just like the big kids always did.
The oldest and youngest started on the same day.
I love that time is moving at the perfect speed for me, too. It doesn’t feel like the days have flown by in a blur since each one of the kids was born. But it doesn’t feel like an eternity has dragged on with each one either. Everything feels like it is moving just right and I’m soaking up every day. I’m not sure why that is or why I feel like time is on my side when everyone else watches it race past, but I’m grateful for the cosmic juju that’s allowing it to be so.
The twins entering and exiting school by themselves for the first time!
The 2.5 hours the twins are gone in the mornings have allowed me to try to climb the steepest job learning curve I’ve had in 20 years, too, which has been both amazing and daunting at the same time. Some days, I’ve got this and am ready to tackle many, many years of it. Others, every email I get defeats me and I feel like I can’t conquer the seemingly simplest things. But that’s to be expected, so I’m not worried about it. Plus, it’s wine!
Finally Lana and Morrison’s turn!
These kids are incredible, plain and simple, and I treasure every day with them. Every walk to and from school, every joyous hug when they come running out of school, even the “meh”s that often emanate from the 4th grader. Thank you, time, for these days to cherish.
I’ve been thinking for a while now what to write for my annual year-end post, and I honestly have no idea this year. After meeting COVID in 2020 and having life as we knew it flipped upside down and all around, this year was kind of – meh. We knew that the only way forward was through, so that’s what we did.
Not to say it was a bad year, just nothing really exciting. A look back ~
The Good:
Despite having COVID earlier this month (well, all of us except Lana, somehow!), we are all fully recovered and appear to have no lasting side effects so far. Ryan’s taste and smell aren’t back to 100%, but thankfully none of us had very serious symptoms.
Ryan’s job is secure.
Our houses are still standing and in working order.
In-person school is working out great for all the kids, even with a couple quarantine periods. Middle school has been much less scary for me than I imagined. 😉
Science! Ryan, the big 3, and I are now all fully vaccinated against COVID, and I got my booster just last weekend. The big kids were in between their 2 doses when we got COVID, and I fully believe even having that little bit of protection from the first dose helped them. They all barely felt worse than a bad cold. The poor twins were hit pretty hard, but fortunately they are better, too.
The big kids moved upstairs and the twins moved into their own bedroom for the first time in their lives!
We’ve paid down a big chunk of debt, which always helps one’s sanity.
The twins were potty trained this year, which also helps my sanity and allows us so much more freedom to do stuff as a family. No more diapers!
I lost my shit WAY fewer times this year than last year, which I’m sure everyone has appreciated.
The Bad:
I lost both my grandmas this year. I didn’t see either of them very often anymore, but knowing I’ll never get to again stings. I will be forever grateful that I got to have one last conversation with each of them before they died, but I’ll always wish I could’ve been there in person to say good-bye.
The global pandemic caused by COVID is still raging, and I don’t know that there’s really any end in sight. At least not for a while. Which reminds me, I need to get some new masks.
Politics in general, racism, unnecessary hatred, war. All topics that I’m not going to touch right now but that I’ll just leave there.
In looking at my list, I’m very thankful the goods outnumber the bads. That’s the sign of a pretty great year, right?
I will say, this winter break has been one of the best times I’ve had with our kids. This Christmas was exceptionally fun and magical, and I’ve just had an incredible level of happiness the whole time. We tracked Santa and loved all the preparations for him and the reindeer, we’ve played lots of games, had a couple movie nights, gone ice skating for the first time for the kids, walked to the beach to hunt for sea glass, and just hung out all together. The twins get a little bit easier daily, and watching all 5 of them play together and interact more as people instead of kids and babies is amazing. We got very lucky with this bunch, that’s for sure.
Here is a pictorial look at this winter ~
All at home to start the month thanks to COVID
St. Nick
Sick little COVID boy
Lana did school at home all month except for a day and a half
Grandma couldn’t come up because of our COVID timing, so I took all 3 big kids to the Nutcracker for the first time.
I had one of my grandma’s wedding rings made into my own – my engagement stone and setting on her band. I love it.
So there’s 2021 in a tiny nutshell. Not overly good or bad, but there. Like I said last year, this recent history has taught me to have an even more take-each-day-as-it-comes outlook than usual, which I think has helped me, personally, immensely. I do feel much more stable and optimistic going into 2022 than I did going into 2021, so we’ll see what it brings.
Good-bye, 2021. Thank you for everything, but it’s time to move on. Hello, 2022 – we’re ready!
We took our 4th annual fall trip up to Eagle River with our good friends last month, then 2 and a half weeks after that I took the kids down to Peoria for our family holiday. It was so great to spend time with everyone again after not having the big, fun family gathering last year.
So no, we didn’t spend Thanksgiving up north, as the title might imply, I was just trying to be efficient by combining all these pictures into 1 post instead of 2. Or lazy, whichever.
So, so much to be thankful for, not just on Thanksgiving, so I’ll let the pictures do the talking for the rest of this one (go ahead and click on each picture to open it up larger).
4th year in a row in Eagle River in fall – so much fun!
NO, I’M NOT PREGNANT AGAIN! I just wanted to shout that out there, because I know that’s where many of your minds jumped as soon as you saw that title. Have no fear. And yes, all babies are miracles, but we’ve had plenty. No, this is something far, far better for our family right now.
THE BIG KIDS FINALLY MOVED UPSTAIRS!!!!!
Yes, that deserves to be shouted in all caps, because if you know me at all, you know how long I’ve been waiting for this. Oh, you don’t? Well here, let me explain…
On December, 31, 2013, Ryan stood in the kitchen and promised me that 1 year from that date, we would have a finished room upstairs (we turned our attic into a giant bedroom for the kids). At the time, we only had Della and Lana, so it was going to be the girls’ bedroom, and the second downstairs bedroom would become a guest room/playroom. I even painted on the wall leading up the stairs to the attic “Della + Lana’s Room ETA: 12.31.14”
Total cosmic jinx.
Fast forward to December 31, 2014, and there was no room up there. Not even close. Ryan had knocked down the only walls that needed to come down up there, but I think that was about it. I honestly can’t remember. This was supposed to be the easiest project of the entire house, since it was simply building a room that already had a full skeleton. We didn’t need to rip into any existing walls, replace any old wiring, nothing. Simply start from scratch and go. Ha.
Morrison came along the following spring, still no room up there. The twins came along after that, still no room up there. It was getting a little cramped in here, but nothing crazy. Many more people have lived in houses much smaller than ours and survived splendidly. We’re all healthy and happy, just cozy.
But lo and behold, some of the stars finally aligned in some miraculous pattern, and on October 27, 2021, IT BECAME THEIR FUCKING BEDROOM!! (see, i told you i’m behind on this blog…)
Sorry for the swear. We’ve just been waiting a REALLY long time for this, and my heart almost exploded with joy that afternoon. The kids had a half day of school, and I spent every minute I wasn’t walking to/from school rearranging, moving furniture, carrying furniture upstairs. It was exhausting, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I got them up there! Ryan did all the dirty work, I did the minor lifting. Teamwork makes the dream work.
So the big 3 now have a gigantic bedroom upstairs (the bathroom will come much later), the twins have their own bedroom that is also a playroom, and there are no more cribs in our bedroom! All toys are out of the living room, and the house finally feels like our home again instead of a nursery/daycare/insane asylum. It was touch and go there for a bit. 😉
The Christmas tree is finally back in its right spot!
Was a big day around here. The big 3 went back to in-person school for the first time in 174 school days, and it was mine and Ryan’s 15th anniversary.
Last virtual reading groupLast day of virtual school for this crew!Last virtual P.E. class togetherLast virtual day picture with her teacher.She adored Miss Safer at Richards!Thumbs up – all done!
The kids are so happy to be back in the classrooms with their teachers and friends, and so am I! We were elated that Della and Morrison’s teachers switched back to in person, too, so they got to stay with them. Lana’s virtual teacher actually didn’t keep her own classroom this quarter so Lana wouldn’t have been able to stay with her anyway, and Lana’s new teacher seems wonderful. Plus, her virtual teacher now helps out with reading groups in Morrison’s class and Lana gets to see her for an hour each Wednesday during asynchronous office hours, so that worked out great. As much as I miss not having them here all day anymore, I feel with every fiber of my being that sending them back for this final quarter of the school year was definitely the right choice for us. Even the walking to/from school routine feels good again. We’ve still had asynchronous Wednesdays, so I do get to keep them with me those days.
Gotta celebrate with a Fun Lunch!
They hopped right back into the school swing, too. They unload their backpacks right when we get home, wash their lunch boxes and water bottles, do any homework (usually only Della), give me any papers out of their folders (usually only Lana and Morrison), then make their lunches and snacks for the next day after dinner. I absolutely love the independence they’ve gained in these chores. They enjoy making their own lunches and I don’t, so it’s a win-win!
First morning walking to school in over a year!
We didn’t have a big celebration for #15. Ryan sent me a beautiful flower arrangement, I hung up the decorations Lana had made for Valentine’s Day that we were saving for this, and I opened a nice bottle of sparkling wine before dinner. I put on my wedding dress, too, which Avit absolutely loved helping to arrange.
Lana’s anniversary present for us. She made it immediately when we got home from school and had me send a picture of it to her teacher. 🙂 It says “Here comes the bride all dressed in white.”
I say it pretty much every spring, but I can’t believe we’re in May already and nearing the end of yet another school year. Della and I had her middle school tour last night (what the?!?!?!). I will be a total mess the last week of this school year with all the fun activities and celebrations they have planned for the 5th graders’ sendoff from elementary school. Even though the middle school looks incredible and I know she’ll love it, it’s breaking my heart that we’re not all going to be walking to and from the same school together each day anymore, and she won’t be at the same school with any of her siblings again until her senior year of high school. I know these are all just steps in life, but they’re scary for me. I know my kids little, and I love it this way. I obviously won’t love them any less as they grow up, but I’m having a really hard time letting go.
The year started off so great: A new decade! So exciting! So hopeful! The next 10 years! Remember?
That train went off the rails pretty quickly, eh?
A global pandemic that’s killing millions. Mother Nature hating humankind – raging wildfires, a million hurricanes and tropical storms, floods, blizzards. Murder hornets. Swarming locusts. Economies on destructive roller coasters. Widespread unemployment and shuttered businesses. The bastard racism alive and well. Nationwide protests. An election that tested the foundation of this country and shook us to our core. Holidays spent mostly apart from family and friends physically but connected electronically. Social distancing. Zoom. Virtual. Synchronous. Asynchronous. Wear a mask! A new normal.
Safer at home and lockdown last spring were actually not that bad. As I’ve said time and again, being home and not having to load all 5 up to go anywhere is my specialty. The big 3 did great with virtual school during that time and got a couple chances to connect with their teachers again by the end of the school year, even though we weren’t in classrooms anymore.
{If you’d like a little year-end review of those posts, here’s what happened during weeks 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and post.}
However.
As summer vacation rolled in and our normally relaxed, unscheduled days dawned, the coziness of all 7 of us being at home together got a little less cozy by the hour.
If I heard, “I’m on a call!” once more… If the boys ran through the house at top speed and crashed into something or each other once more… If the girls bickered over who went first for whatever or got to control the remote to watch whatever or just whatever whatever once more…
As a normally very even-keeled person, experiencing a constant, humongous range of emotions became exhausting. Happy! Crabby! Chilled out! Angry! Elated! Enraged! Loving! Crying! Laughing! I lost my shit more times than I have in my entire adult life before March of this year, and I began questioning things that I held as rock solid in every aspect before the stretch of time that was 2020. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t kill 1 or more of us daily.
Actually, wine. It was probably wine that saved all of our lives.
I kid. Kind of.
I had also planned to finally take all 5 kids to Canada with my mom and sisters for a vacation this summer, but obviously that didn’t happen with the border closure. We did take a couple of shorter trips within the Midwest, though, so those helped to get the ants out of our pants a little. And then Ryan went back to work in his building in August, and we started to slide back to a slightly reduced level of insanity. And rage on my end, I won’t lie.
As you know, when school started again in September we chose to keep the big 3 fully virtual. With the success they’d had at home last spring and the complete uncertainty of how everything was going to play out with in-person schooling and the spread of covid-19, we felt it was right for us. Fortunately it’s worked out great so far, with each grade having enough students choose fully virtual that each of their classes has a dedicated fully virtual teacher, not splitting her time between those students in class and those on screen. And again, that not having to get everyone out the door at a certain time each morning thing… I’ve gotten very used to it! We get to choose virtual/in person by quarter, and I think we’re going to stick with fully virtual all year. The kids all love their teachers, as do I; they’re doing an excellent job; and they haven’t missed a beat instruction-wise or socially.
And now here we are, the calendar about to flip yet again. The kids and I did get a little in-person family time before Christmas, and the rest of this holiday season we enjoyed here at home, the 7 of us together. I definitely don’t have the same excitement going into 2021 as I did coming into 2020, but I do have a take-it-as-it-comes attitude. I think that’s what 2020 taught us; well, me, at least – you have absolutely no idea what’s heading at you next, so take it as it comes as best you can. I count my blessings daily (literally, believe me!) that we all have our health, Ryan still has his job, I am still able to be home full time with the kids, the roof over our heads is still standing, and we can put food on our table.
(*click on each image in the gallery to enlarge it*)
Gobble, gobble!
So very thankful
New Santa bags!
School at Grandma & Grandpa’s!
Our own private Nutcracker party this year
Franz, our waiter, ha!
Starting off winter break with a breakfast of hot cocoa and candy canes
Snow day!
So, 2021, here we come. 2020, you can fuck off. We survived you, and we’re thankfully still going. As my grandma says, “Cherish the days. March on.” That, and I just restocked the wine cellar.
