The first one bites the dust

I don’t know how many times I’ve said it, and I know I can’t stop saying it, but I STILL can’t believe that Della is finished with elementary school. Our school year ended in June, and the notion that she’ll never be walking back to that school with us again just keeps boggling my mind.

As you know, we went back to in-person school for the fourth and final quarter of this school year. It was, by far, the best decision for us. I was perfectly happy with all 3 staying virtual and at home for the first 3 quarters, but by the time that last spring quarter rolled around and the school week switched to 4 days in person with 1 asynchronous day and the COVID-19 cases didn’t skyrocket and the nice weather started to arrive and the cabin fever started to set in, I was ready to send them back. They were ready to go back, too. And we were SO fortunate that Della and Morrison got to keep their teachers, whom we all loved, because they both went back in person, too. Lana’s virtual teacher ended up not even having her own classroom for fourth quarter so Lana couldn’t have kept her anyway, but she did start helping out with reading groups in Morrison’s class! Plus Lana loved the new teacher she got for that quarter, so win-win-win.

I absolutely love our elementary school. Della has had nothing but wonderful days and experiences there, and I’m so sad it’s over for her. Our middle school seems pretty amazing, though, and I know she’s looking forward to her days ahead there. I just can’t wrap my heart around the fact that we’re splitting up. We won’t all be together anymore. She’ll be going there while the rest of us still go the other way. It’s just a fact of life, I’m fully aware, but it still tugs at me. The first piece of my heart is growing up and walking right away from me before my eyes.

Thankfully the school calendar for next year is going to allow us to take Della the first couple of days before Lana and Morrison start. I already promised I wouldn’t get too close if she doesn’t want me to, wheeling the stroller with the twins right up to the 6th-grade waiting area. 😀 Once I have just those first couple dropoffs with her under my belt, I think I’ll be ok. My heart will get those few little moments to keep it full. The start and end timing of the different school days is just close enough that I wouldn’t be able to drop her off first and get over to the elementary school in time walking with everyone. I think if we drove we’d make it, but the walks to/from school are important to me. Believe it or not, I learn a lot in those short times together with all my kids.

I’m going to miss her terribly. I know she’s not actually going anywhere and will be home right after us each day, but still. She’s mine, and I miss her when she’s not with me. I think it’ll be weird for the other kids, too, not having their leader with us. I told Lana she has an important role now as the biggest Rau kid at the elementary school. She’ll be in charge of getting Morrison at his door on those winter days when I drive to pick them up and they have to come meet me at the car. And she’ll have to help him get to his door on those same mornings. I hope she’s up to the task!

Oh, my sweet little peanut. I canNOT believe you’re a big middle schooler now, and I hate the fact that our school-days gang is breaking up. But, being the amazingly beautiful person you are, I can’t wait to see where this life takes you. Dream big, my love – you’ll do incredible things. ❤