A few days ago, one of the guys with whom I work at the gym unknowingly handed me what may be the highest compliment a parent can ever receive. It came during a perfectly normal, mid-towel-folding conversation, but it really just made my heart so happy.
We were chatting while folding the never-ending mountains of towels, and he asked, “So what made you want to be a Mom?” (i write Mom with a capital M, because that’s just how the question looked in my head when he asked it) I kind of chuckled, thought a second, and then responded, “Well, actually I never really did.”
He looked pretty shocked to hear that answer until I further explained myself…
As most of you know, growing up I was never a girl who dreamed of the day she would become a mother. I was never really drawn to babies like some people are, I usually preferred to have other people’s kids stay with those people, and I was generally pretty selfish with my time and efforts, not really wanting to share my life with a tiny human. To me, kids were just a lot of work, they were loud and cranky, and they always got things dirty. None of which I really wanted a part.
That’s not to say I was ever against having children, I just never gave it much thought. I always assumed I’d have kids someday, but it was never a big gold star on my calendar.
When Ryan and I got married I knew he wanted children, and like I said I figured we’d have them eventually, but they were not on the near horizon. We had a blast in our 20s without the responsibilities of kids, and I enjoyed those years immensely.
As my 30th birthday approached, however, the notion that it may be time to start thinking a little more seriously about building the next generation began to creep into my brain. I knew getting older is generally not conducive to having babies, so that seemed like a good point in time to start planning our family.
Della was born when I was 31, and my view on children changed immediately and completely. It was the most amazingly wonderful feeling I had ever known, I thought my heart was going to burst with the new love and happiness we had created, and I instantly wanted more babies. That sentiment made us both laugh (me and the Ryan at the gym to whom i was talking, not my Ryan), because it sounds very weird to hear me say that almost the second I gave birth for the first time I was already looking forward to doing it all again. But I was. Maternal hormones are crazy things.
And I’ve loved being a Mom ever since. I even like other people’s kids now, too, *gasp!*.
Now here’s where the compliment came. When I finished relaying the tale of my journey to Motherhood, I asked him why he had asked. He said, “Well, you just always seem to have such a good handle on it all when I see you with your kids.”
I internally burst out laughing, thinking he must never notice me straggling through the doors of the gym with these 2 little girls dripping off me – my purse, the diaper bag, their insulated lunch bag, and Lana on my left arm and Della in my right hand, rushing to get everyone in the door before we all fall apart because I now always seem to be running late. Or maybe I really do look ok from the outside, when inside I’m trying to hold us all together with my brainwaves so we can JUST GET THERE ON TIME!
Either way, I was beyond flattered and actually speechless, so I just stuttered a very humble, “Really? Wow, thank you so much.”
I doubt he’ll ever know how much his saying those innocent enough words meant, but I will be forever grateful he did.