Or maybe more like me just finally making up my mind? Whichever.
But anyway, last week I got an email from a guy with whom I used to work at Stark saying that a hedge fund in Milwaukee had a trading position opening, and would I mind if he passed along my contact information? Sure, why not? Although I’m not actively searching for a full-time job again right now, it can’t hurt to just keep my name out there for any future possibilities. Right?
So I got a call from the CEO/head trader/all-around big wig of this company last Friday afternoon, before I had even had a chance to speak with a guy in Chicago who was actually the one who knows said CEO to find out any details of what the deal was. Confused yet? Yeah, so was I.
Here’s the skinny – the guy with whom I used to work heard about this opening from a broker who covers him in Chicago, and the guy in Chicago was to whom the guy I know gave my info. The guy I know didn’t give my info directly to the hedge fund, as he hadn’t even personally heard of them. Ok, whatever you say, sure I’ll talk to him.
So once I heard the voicemail from the hedge fund CEO, I contacted the Chicago guy to get some low-down. I didn’t want to just call the hedge fund back having no idea of any particulars and go into a potentially important conversation completely blind. Fortunately I was able to speak with the Chicago guy later on last Friday afternoon to find out what the hubbub was all about.
And the more he spoke, the more I involuntarily fell in love with the position. It sounded like almost exactly what I did at Stark, which is what I would ever want to do again if I were to reenter this field; he said it’s an extremely family-friendly company; they’ve all been together for over a decade with no one having ever left (this opening actually occurred because one of their traders passed away suddenly. yikes!); they trade very simple, straightforward North American stocks, with none of the incredibly complicated exotic securities that I had to wrestle with at Stark; and there are only 11-12 people in the entire firm.
I got off the phone and immediately told Ryan it sounded almost too good to be true. If I were to hand pick another full-time hedge fund job, this appeared to be the one. I started thinking that I might have no choice but to go back to a full-time gig due to this one in a million opportunity. I didn’t even want to begin thinking in that vein again, but it almost felt like I couldn’t not.
I didn’t want to bug the CEO over the long holiday weekend, since he had called me from his cell phone in Arizona, so I was going to just call him at the office this past Tuesday. Well he called me again first thing Tuesday morning when I was at work, so I finally spoke with him Tuesday afternoon and was meeting with him in their office by 5:00 that same day. Yowza!
I kept saying to Ryan that I just wished I would find 1 thing I didn’t like about this seemingly perfect job to make my decision to not want it plain and simple, but up to that point I couldn’t. I was so torn – I had been struggling all weekend with the thought of having to go back to that routine and trying to get both girls into our old daycare center within the next couple weeks if this all panned out as beautifully as it was presented vs. my obvious desire to stay home with them as long as possible when they’re little.
So off I went to the hedge fund Tuesday afternoon, my head swirling with the thought that I might actually be going back to work so suddenly.
And on my way there it hit me. This was not what I wanted to be doing.
I missed having the girls with me.
I missed hearing their laughter and “conversations” from the backseat.
I heard Lana’s car seat toys rattling around and missed knowing that her tiny body was back there, too.
That singular car ride made me realize that I am not ready to go back to work full-time. I want to be here with our children for every day that I can. I adore the fact that I take them with me when I go to work right now, can see them any minute I want, and then we all go home together when I’m done.
But there was still that nagging feeling of how could I turn down an absolutely perfect fit?
Thankfully my decision was kind of made for me once I got there – it wasn’t a perfect fit after all. First of all, everyone was wearing suits. I’m sorry, I know MANY people wear suits to work every day and don’t think twice about it, but that is 1 thing I hated about working in NYC. A few months after starting at Lehman they switched back to wearing suits from the business casual rule they had when I started, and it sucked. I don’t want to have to drop another $500-$1,000 on some stuffy outfits that I’ll hate every second of wearing and will never wear outside that job.
Secondly, one of guys with whom I met was a total lump. The CEO was a good guy – very personable, warm, easy to talk to, actually reminded me of one of my uncles with some of his mannerisms and expressions, and just seemed to be an all-around nice guy. The other one who joined him, however, ugh. He sat there practically silent the whole time, made himself a cup of tea and was apparently much more interested in it than anything that I had to offer, and just kind of shrugged when the CEO asked him if he had anything to add. And I guess he was the one under whom I would mainly be working in this position. Huh? No thanks.
I did get kind of a smug sense of satisfaction at one point in the conversation, though. The CEO asked me what my job search was like right now and I said honestly, I’m really not pursuing one. He said so someone just contacted you about this position out of the blue? Yep, you got it, buddy. Why so surprised? Do I not strike you as that good that one of your brokers would actually recommend me sight unseen and totally unsolicited? Well you’d better believe it. (no, i did not say all that, but you know that’s exactly what i was thinking)
So I just got kind of an unsettled taste in my mouth for the whole thing after I had that meeting, which solidified my notion that I really want to be staying home with the girls. They said they have a number of candidates they’re considering and are still in the resume collecting stage right now so it’ll be a couple weeks before they have any sort of decision made, but I’m not expecting to hear back at all. And I’m totally ok with that. It’s funny because I didn’t even think that meeting was going to be an interview, more just a fact-finding mission from my end, but I guess they felt differently. No skin off my back. Fortunately I would not have treated what I thought was a “real” interview any differently, so I’m fine with how things went down.
After my 1st phone conversation with the Chicago guy I asked Ryan what he thought I should do. Much to my amazement (and delight), he said he would actually prefer I find a better-paying part-time job so I could stay home with the girls until they’re fully in school, meaning until Lana is in kindergarten. Sa-weet!
Unfortunately, the WAC is not the solution to that criterion, so I have again begun my search for some sort of online proofreading job in earnest. If anyone anywhere knows of something, or even of a good resource I could use to find something, please let me know! I’ve said it before, but I’m actually a really good proofreader and even started my own little business for it. Check out that JEditing button all the way down at the bottom of the page.
So there you have it. It feels good to finally know what I really want my plan to be and how I can go about making it happen. Now I just need to find that 1 steady proofreading job that will get me up and running, and I’ll be golden.