I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, but just haven’t found the time to actually sit down and do it. Imagine that with a toddler and infant in the house. Odd.
But fortunately things are feeling much better than they did a few months ago, when I wrote this post. The fog of not feeling like myself has finally lifted, and thankfully I think I’ve regained my parenting mojo. I no longer feel like having 2 kids is going to suffocate me; rather I feel like each day gets better than the last with these 2 little ones.
What has happened to changed my outlook? Well, for one, I got a job. It’s not a new career by any means, more just something to get me and the girls out of the house and interacting in society again. I work part-time at the front desk of the Wisconsin Athletic Club, a gym to which I belonged for years and at which I continued to work out with my trainer until she left just a few weeks ago.
I work anywhere from 2-4 days per week, 3-4 hours at a time. The girls and I get free memberships out of the deal too, but the best part, by far, is that they get to come with me while I work and stay in the kids care room for free. Free daycare?! That cannot be passed up. Now it isn’t an actual licensed daycare center, more just glorified babysitting, but still. Della gets to play with all the kids, they do story time and gym time, she takes her favorite “new lunchbox” every day; and Lana gets fed her bottles, diapers changed, tummy time, etc., so it’s absolutely perfect.
It gives me a nice little break from the parenting responsibilities a couple times a week and the girls get taken care of well, so it’s working out very smoothly right now. And I finally don’t feel like I’m about to lose my head trying to rush us out the door each time we go, so that helps too. Those first couple weeks I seriously felt like a complete whirling dervish every time I had to get the 3 of us ready to go in the mornings. Practice makes perfect, I guess. Or at least better.
Having a paycheck again is nice too, but the pay is definitely not why I’m there. A little is better than zero though, eh?
What else? I guess Lana getting out of the newborn stage has helped as well. I don’t feel completely tethered to a screaming baby anymore, which I think would make anyone happy. She has certainly mellowed in the past couple months, and I don’t have a tiny screaming head in my face so much anymore. She’ll give a good wail here and there still, but nothing like the early days when I almost went deaf a few times.
She’s getting easier, I think Della enjoys being around kids more often again, and the combination of those just makes my days all around better. I don’t feel trapped, I don’t feel anxious, I don’t feel like a terrible mom, I don’t feel like a terrible wife, I don’t feel like not me. I feel good again, and that feels great.
I do still need to work on the exercise part, as I haven’t been able to get in a good routine with timing workouts with my shifts at the gym, but hopefully I’ll get something going soon. I usually work from 9-noon or 9-1, which doesn’t leave enough time for me to get in as long a workout as I want before having to get Della home for her nap, and the kids room doesn’t open until 8, which doesn’t give me enough time before work either. So we’ll see what I can finagle there.
Also, it’s Spring. Even though the temperature belies the season right now, I am happy that the sun is at least shining. I started taking vitamin D in liquid drop form this winter to actually help slow my postpartum hair shedding, but I think it helped me feel better overall instead. It didn’t necessarily give me more energy, but I didn’t feel so run-down and tired all the time. I don’t think it did anything to help my hair stop falling out so much, though. That will just take time to get rid of all the built up pregnancy locks.
So there you have it. And for being such good listeners and readers, here are some recent pictures of the most adorable children ever created. What? I’m biased.
