I feel like a complete and utter failure. It’s mid-day and I’ve yelled at Della more than once. I’ve put her in bed with no lunch because she refused to do the simplest of tasks and repeatedly screamed “No!” in my face. That obviously didn’t work as she screamed and flailed at me even more, so she finally got her lunch another half hour later after doing what I’d asked her long before. Then she started screaming again as I cleaned her up after lunch when I told her she couldn’t watch tv but had to take her nap. Why? Why so awful?
Lana has been piercing my eardrums with her siren wail all morning. And her simultaneous poopsplosion and 4 wave tsunami barf added one more bath to the to-do list today.
The fact that I still have to unload the dishwasher, finish up the two loads of laundry waiting downstairs, bake, go to the grocery store, and wrap presents does not add to my overall demeanor either. Why? What is it about today that needed to be so bad?
I feel ashamed and unhappy. I hate raising my voice and being mad at my children; that’s not right. But I guess almost 7 weeks with 2 of them was my breaking point. And just when I thought things were going so well and I’d gotten the hang of this motherhood thing.
You’re just a human bean, Scoot, don’t sweat it. You’re the best mom they could have, and they know how much you love them. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but you’re about as close as it gets, in my opinion. Hang in there. Love, Dad
Thanks, Dad! Fortunately the hellish behavior did not last. So far, anyway… 😉
Hey — this will pass. Well, some of it will. Give yourself a little slack (hard for us Type A’s, I know, but give it a try). You just had a BABY! And you are a fulltime mommy — this is difficult stuff. Make sure you tell Della you love her when she gets up (and serve a heavy snack). 🙂 All will be forgiven and tomorrow will be a new day.
Thank you so much, Janell! You were totally right – Della took about a 4 hour nap that afternoon, and all was right again when she woke. We even told Daddy what happened when he got home that night (from a funeral, no less. great day for all of us, eh?) and she knew she needs to listen better from now on. Well, she said she did anyway. We’ll see how long it lasts. 😉 But yes, 1 bad day in the whole grand scheme doesn’t seem so bad in hindsight. Thanks again for the kind words!