This one time, when I fell asleep with my eyes open while driving…

I realized the other day that I really have shared zero stories from my time in NYC witch’all. Not that my life was brimming with parties and celebrities and tales that would make even Paris Hilton blush, but it was just fun being out there, finding my way in such a monstrous and amazing city as that of New York City. Manhattan. The Big Apple. So many monikers, and it lives up to each and every one of them.

Now I didn’t technically live in NYC. I lived right across the Hudson River in Jersey City, NJ. This worked out perfectly, for the PATH train that ran from NJ into the city stopped less than 1 block from my apartment building, I had a 19th floor view of the entire Manhattan skyline from past the Empire State Building all the way down to the Statue of Liberty, and the rent on my 700+ sq. ft. 1-bedroom apartment was considerably less than what I would have paid on the same space anywhere within the city limits of Manhattan.

But I did work in the city. Right in the heart of it. First in the World Financial Center (which used to be attached to the World Trade Center by a footbridge), then actually in Jersey City for a stint after 9/11 since our building was damaged in the fall of the towers, and finally smack dab in the middle of the island near Times Square once we procured our new office space. It was awesome. If you’ve never been, that city really is alive every minute of every hour of every day. There is always something going on somewhere, and if you find yourself bored in NYC, then I think there’s just something wrong with you.

It’s unfortunate that I detested my job so much by the end of the 2 years I lived there, for I really could have pictured myself staying out there for much longer. I moved out in July 2001, R came to join me in June 2002, and we moved back to Milwaukee together at the very end of June 2003. I cannot even tell you how much it meant to me (and ultimately our relationship) that R moved out east to spend that year with me, because we had more fun exploring and getting to know our new locale than I think we have anywhere else. And it’s now always a city that will still feel a little like home no matter how many years go by between visits.

But anyway, more on that later. Back to my story that prompted the title of this post. How does one fall asleep with their eyes open, and while driving, no less? Easy. I’ll show you.

Less than a month after I moved out there, my 2 best girlfriends A and E came out for a long weekend visit. I was absolutely thrilled, because I so badly missed everyone from Madison. Moving 1,000 miles away from your family and friends all by yourself was a little harder than my 22-year-old self was expecting. So to see them again so soon was wonderful. Through work, I had been to a lot of bars and clubs and had heard of even more, so of course I wanted to show them all the best ones during their stay. Because as 22 and 23-year-old coeds on the loose in Manhattan, isn’t that what you do? Duh.

The last night of their stay we decided to go all out. We went out to dinner at Tortilla Flats, hit up a couple bars in that area on our way over to the Meatpacking District, then ended the night at Exit, this huge behemoth of a night club over on the west side of the city. It’s an all-night affair kind of place, which we discovered as we came up out of the subway back across the street from my apartment at about 7am with the sun in our eyes. Oops. And then we had to turn right back around and drive to LaGuardia so they could catch their flight home, fresh off our no-sleep escapades. Double oops.

Fortunately driving through Sunday morning Manhattan at 8am-ish is much less crowded than driving through, say, Friday afternoon Manhattan at 5pm-ish, but still. It’s driving through Manhattan nonetheless. And this was after a night out on the town with zero minutes of sleep. So at one point, I heard A shout from the passenger seat, “Red light! Red light!” What?? Where, what are you talking about? Oh shit! Right HERE!!! Yes, I was steering us directly through a huge intersection at which I had a red light, and I didn’t even know it at all. I had fallen completely asleep at the wheel, WITH MY EYES WIDE OPEN. Triple oops.

Obviously we all made it to the airport in 1 piece and they arrived safely back in Madison, even after having to sleep on some garbage bags on the floor of O’Hare at one point. But damn if that wasn’t one of the craziest trips ever. The whole drive home from LaGuardia I was just waiting to careen off a bridge somewhere or crash full into the side of a huge building, because without a trusty sidekick, who was going to hold my eyelids open? Note to self – SLEEP next time.