The little things

They really do mean so much. I’ve never been one who needs a ton of affirmation and praise to be happy. I’m totally fine with an occasional “good job” to know my work is appreciated or a simple hug to feel loved. I don’t need the adoration to be heaped on or to be smothered in kisses. Sure that’s nice every now and then, but I’m not a person who immediately feels unworthy without it.

Case in point, most mornings I drop R off at work after we take D to daycare. There’s a stoplight right around the corner from where I let him out, and I usually see him walk or bike by the intersection as I’m waiting to get through the light and onto the highway. Each time I look over to see where he is, and if the timing is right our eyes meet and he gives me a little wave.

That tiny gesture instantly brightens my day. We could have spoken zero words to each other that morning (not because we’re angry, we’re just not very loud morning people. especially when we’re headed to work, blech), but as soon as I see him wave all is right in the world.

Now as for the rest of the day, well, that’s usually a beast all of its own design. But those moments after the wave? Nothing beats them.

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Hang on tight!

I’ll be going through some tweaking and redesign here on the ol’ blog for a minute, so please just sit tight if things look screwy or don’t work quite right or are just generally off.

I hope to get you back to our regularly scheduled programming soon…

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That home of which I spoke

So the other weekend I took D down to Peoria to visit my dad and his side of the family. I only make it down there about twice a year max, simply because it’s usually a 3.5+ hour drive and I’m pretty lazy. Not kidding.

 

But we had a wonderful visit. We spent time with one of my aunts, who absolutely adores D; my grandma, who is also head-over-heels for this little girl; one of my uncles who my dad brought into town to stay the weekend with us; one of my aunts, uncles, and cousins on my mom’s side; and of course my dad and his girlfriend. It was really nice to just sit and be with everyone, and not feel like we had to constantly rush around or worry about gifts, like we do when we visit closer to Christmas. Plus there was no snow – a HUGE bonus when making the drive by myself with a 16 month old passenger.

 

Here are a couple snapshots from our trip, just because. I haven’t lived in Peoria since I went to college, and the home where I spent half of my formative years was sold when my parents divorced and my mom moved to the Chicagoland area. So it’s always kind of weird going back to my hometown without having an actual home there. Fortunately we are blessed to have family who loves us and always opens their doors.

 

Buckled in with supplies for the road

 

Because who likes to wear shoes and socks when they travel?

 

Pit stop fun

 

A rocking chair just my size!

 

D and her Great-Aunt Mary

 

D and her Great-Grandma Ruby, engrossed in a book

 

Giving Grandma a kiss

 

D and Grandpa, reading by the fire

 

D watching the Bears game w/her Great-Uncle Nate

 

 

 

When it rains, it pours

Ok, hmm. I’m not really even sure where to start with this one; I’ve just got a lot of shit swirling around in my head right now. So this is going to be one of those brain drains again. It’s your lucky day! Buckle your seat belts, this could be a bitchy ride.

First of all, sweet baby D has hand, foot, and mouth disease. What? Gross! I know. She developed a bunch of little blister-like sores on her hands and feet starting Sunday morning, and her legs and arms had more tiny red dots all over them that weren’t raised. Some of the hand/feet sores looked pretty nasty, almost puss-filled, so that prompted me to call her doctor yesterday. Diagnosis confirmed – the doctor found some little sores on the roof of her mouth that I hadn’t seen in there, so that solidified it. Awesome. And since it’s viral, there are no antibiotics, so we just wait it out. Double awesome. So I’m home with her today because doctor’s orders were a day out of daycare. Oh wait, that part’s a good thing. I’m certainly not missing my desk at work right now.

Next, I found out some most ridiculous news yesterday. So we have this big trip to Hawaii planned over Christmas. Ok, cool. It’s all of us on my mom and stepdad’s side – me, R, and D; my sister and her husband; my other sister; my mom and stepdad; and his 2 kids. Well, youngest sister announced to my mom yesterday that she’s now not going. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh wait, it gets better.

Why isn’t she going? Um, well, apparently last week sometime her boyfriend’s ex dropped their 2 kids off at my sister and boyfriend’s apartment and left. So now my sister has had to quit her once almost-full-time job to stay home and babysit these kids all week while her boyfriend works like 12 hour days, then he watches them on weekends while she has picked up a new Saturday/Sunday part-time job. And they’re moving into a slightly bigger apartment this weekend I guess to accommodate the new uh, living situation.

Ok couple things here:

1. I love my sister more than she could possibly know and only want her to be happy, but what?? Am I crazy for being shocked by all this? They’re almost-27 and almost-26, and now she’s suddenly playing pseudo-mom to a 6- and 5-year old? Shit, if someone dropped 2 kids off on my porch and said “see ya”, I’d be a little pissed, donchya think?

2. Without getting into all the specifics, there have heretofore been some extenuating circumstances that prevented boyfriend from even seeing his kids. And now he has them full-time? If that doesn’t qualify for things that make ya go hmm… I don’t know what does. What’s gonna happen when the ex flips a switch again and suddenly wants them back? I said I feel worst for the kids in all this – they don’t deserve to be shuffled back and forth between 2 apparently inept parents, who were basically kids themselves when they were born. (i’m not knocking all young parents here, but at age 19 you are still a kid, whether you’re a parent or not)

3. I’m afraid my sister is going to quickly find out she might be in just a little over her head with all this. She’s admitted that she’s pretty overwhelmed, since this all got dumped in her lap, turning her life upside down in kind of the blink of an eye, and without her asking for it. I mean seriously – being home with these kids all day, walking them to/from school (after getting them enrolled, that is, which could be difficult in and of itself when lacking any sort of legal guardianship), etc., etc., starting like RIGHT NOW?

4. I just hope she’s truly ok. Fortunately my other sister and brother-in-law live pretty close to them, so she’s made sure to let her know they’re there if she ever needs them. Apparently youngest sister sounded remarkably calm and accepting of the whole shebang when they spoke today, so I guess that’s kind of comforting. Kind of?

I give my other sister credit, though. When she told me all this before going to talk to youngest, I wanted to teleport out there and punch youngest and boyfriend in the face. Or at least send a nasty text. I’m glad I reigned in my immaturity and refrained, though. That’s a first.

Ok, what’s next? Oh yeah – my dad. He’s engaged. HA! Again, what?? Yeah I know, I told you – downpour. I have mixed feelings on this one. I do really like the woman to whom he’s engaged (they’ve been together off and on for close to 2 years, almost the whole time he’s been out of prison). She’s nice, she’s normal, she’s grounded, she has grandkids of her own and is wonderful with D, and she is a really good influence in my dad’s life. Essentially a 180 from the woman he married after my mom, a psychotic nightmare of a bitch. Trust me, that description is 400% warranted. This current one? Complete opposite and such an amazingly refreshing change.

But here’s the odd part. They were broken up – like him moving all his stuff back out broken up – over the summer and up until about 2 months ago, now just that like he’s moved back in and they’re engaged? Huh? What’s the rush? They’ve both been married multiple times now, so why dive into matrimony again? Plus, neither of my sisters have met her yet, which I told him he needs to give them another chance to do before they actually tie the knot. Not doing so would be incredibly rude and selfish, in my opinion.

Also, she was in the dark about his drinking again even longer than I was. We were talking about it when I was down in Peoria the other weekend, and she didn’t even know about it until what sounds like shortly before they got back together this time. Now, she’s been through a couple bad episodes with alcoholics, so she’s not willing to put up with any more shit if my dad’s on the sauce. He drank a lot at my sister’s wedding in September, which I know was uncomfortable for pretty much all of us. But it was his choice, and it still wasn’t like it used to be. After that trip I told him how I hated his drinking again and showed him what I’d written after D’s birthday party when he was at our house this summer, so hopefully he took my words to heart. He doesn’t drink when we’re with him now, which is an improvement. And I know his drinking at home is significantly reduced as well. A beer here or there? Fine, that’s totally normal. And fortunately his fiance won’t tolerate much more than that anymore. So there’s that.

Next up? Shit at our house. We’ve been working on the damn thing for over 4 years now, and it just won’t end. Nothing like home “owership”, eh? And we’re so frickin’ close, I can’t stand it! We’ve been working on one particular thing for a couple months now, and we just keep failing to get it done. Come on already! I just want to have a finished home for our little family that I can actually see us living in and growing in for at least a couple years to come.

Welp, I guess that’s about it. Thanks for listening again.

 

 

A birthday wish

May your day be filled with smiles and laughter.

 

May your cake be sweet and candles bright.

 

May your dreams be fulfilled and your expectations exceeded. Continue reading “A birthday wish”

Deck the… humbug?

As you might know, we’re not going to be at home for Christmas this year. We’ll be traveling. And although it will be a most radical trip, it’s just kind of thrown my whole holiday spirit out of whack this year.

 

I didn’t really feel like getting a Christmas tree, since I’ll probably want to have it taken down before we leave anyway. (we did end up getting one, just a tiny little guy this year. even so, i did manage to get almost all of my favorite ornaments crammed on there. but only 1 strand of lights)

 

 

I really haven’t gotten out any of our other interior decorations, save a winter scene nightlight in the hallway and our mistletoe ball in the kitchen. We have some great advent calendars that I love dearly, but even they remain in the decorations cabinet in the basement because I just didn’t feel like hanging them up this time. Oddly, I felt like the days that didn’t get put up before we left would be lonely. (i know, i’m weird. that’s nothing new) Plus D got 2 chocolate advent calendars from relatives this year, so those have sufficed and fueled her new-found sugar addiction.

 

I did wind our pre-lit garland around the front lamppost and string the real stuff from my grandparents along our porch rails, because I absolutely adore white Christmas lights outside. But the little tree lights to line the walk will have to wait for another year.

 

(please pardon the fake snow. i was just having a little picnik fun)

 

I’m not even really in the mood for presents this year either. I usually love passing out everyone’s gifts on Christmas morning and reveling in the holiday spirit, but just the thought of trying to come up with something for people is kind of grating on my nerves right now. I’m at a total loss for most everyone, and since we’re traveling I don’t really even know if we should do gifts at all. Ugh.

 

At least a lack of decorations means a little less clean up this year, right? I won’t have to traipse around come the start of the new year taking down all the festive flair and making each room seem a little less magical than when it wore its holiday best, which is always kind of depressing. And since the tree only has 1 strand of lights, I won’t have to mess with tangling and untangling all of those as I try to unwind them from said tree and get them back in storage without ending up with a giant National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-sized knot.

 

I guess one other good thing about a pint-sized Christmas tree and minimal decorations is that most of my upkeep and cleaning this year simply consists of telling D, “We don’t touch the Christmas tree. Just wave hi to him.” And yes, that’s worked just fine so far to keep pine needles off the floor, believe it or not.

 

Anyone have a cup of holiday cheer I could borrow? Something bubbly and slightly alcoholic would do splendidly.

 

 

I’m sharing my holiday home decor (or lack thereof!) and cleaning tips for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls and Great Cleaners.

 

Only 2 weeks late {pictures!!}

So here it is, FINALLY. My Thanksgiving recap post. In pictures. Exactly 2 weeks late. Ahem. It was awesome.

 

The table all nicely set and ready for food

 

R proudly displaying his poultry

 

Mmm, turkey

 

Mommy & D, enjoying the feast

 

Oo, this dish is tasty

 

My spoon - hilarious!

 

Wait, they're gone?

 

CRANBERRIES!!

 

Straight into the tub

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

We had enough food for a family of 10 and proceeded to eat leftovers until this week. R said we should really have taken some to a shelter, to which I agreed, but unfortunately they have pretty strict rules about donated food and its preparation/handling. So we are still finishing up the pumpkin torte. It was a wonderful day at home, just the 3 of us – our little family. And yes, that is a mini Packers jersey D is wearing. R wouldn’t even let me put a cute little holiday outfit on her. Hmpf.

 

And since I made you wait so long for some pictures, here are a few bonus shots. Because no day is complete without an abundance of D.

 

D helping Mommy put her ornament on 1st

 

She's now ADDICTED to her chocolate advent calendars

 

Happy St. Nick's Day!