Shall we? You know, that crap “elevator” music you must endure each time you’re put on hold on the phone. Now riddle me this… WHY on earth must it be so terrible? Always??
A few weeks ago while on hold I had to listen to “That’s Just the Way It Is” by Phil Collins, which on its own isn’t too obnoxiously unbearable, but throw it into a never-ending string of mind-numbing shit songs and I was ready to chuck my phone across the room by the end of the first refrain. Then this morning I again found myself on perma-hold, being serenaded by the worst light jazz channel I’ve ever heard.
Why do companies think their customers, patients, etc., want to hear note after note after note of horrendous music, when they’re probably already in a bad mood about whatever it is that’s causing them to call in and be stuck on hold in the first place? And who picks this stuff out anyway? I’d like to meet the person who decided that oh yeah, EVERYONE wants to listen to Kenny G for 45 minutes while we ignore their call. I would swiftly kick him/her in the shins and duct tape headphones on them to pump in their nauseating choice of songs.
Come on, mix it up a little for us! I don’t know about you guys, but personally, I would LOVE to hear some Snoop Dogg for my “on hold” station. That is my JAM! I would rock the socks off some hold time if I could be rollin’ down the street sippin on gin and juice. Or rockin rough and stuff with my afropuffs – hey rage, rock on wit yo bad self! Yeeeaahh, I could be on hold all day listening to Doggystyle.
Seriously, throw us a bone here, on hold music administrators. Like I said, chances are pretty good that we’re going to be pissed off when you finally decide to answer our call in the order in which it was received since we’ve been sitting there so long waiting to either chew you out because some worthless product failed us again or to make an appointment for a procedure that no one in their right mind would enjoy. So it would be in your best interest to not enrage us further by making us want to pluck our eyebrows out with your god-awful music, but maybe try to soften the blow to your eardrums a bit by lightening our mood with a little rock ‘n roll, hip hop, or even some Christmas carols this time of year.
But please, for the love of god, PLEASE don’t make me listen to any more Phil Collins. Cuz that’s just not the way it is in my book.