A whole new (messy!) vocabulary

Since becoming parents, a whole slew of new words has begun populating our everyday vocabulary – breast milk, breast pump, breast any-kind-of-paraphernalia (those more so in the first months than now, but still never before D was born), diapers, wipes, butt cream (what, you used that one before you had kids? ok, then i’m the weirdo), onesie, teething, jumperoo, peekaboo!, spit-up… The list is quite lengthy, but I think you get the idea.

 

There is one word, however, that has unfortunately become more prevalent than the others. A word that has been the focal point of many a conversation and has caused load upon load upon load of laundry. Really, all from a single word? Yes really, all from a single word. What word could possibly have such an impact in its singularity, you must certainly be wondering by now? That word, my friends, would be poopsplosion. Yes, you read that correctly. Poopsplosion. As in poop-splosion. What the? May I have a definition? Absolutely!

 

poop.splo.sion [poop-sploh-zhuh’n]

noun

• the act or instance of baby poop exploding out of a diaper and onto everything/one in sight – clothes, changing area, car seat, furniture, walls, floors, the baby, you.

Can you use it in a sentence, please? Why, surely!

 

“I picked up D only to discover her entire back and legs were covered in fecal matter due to another poopsplosion.”

 

Poopsplosion.

 

Our first encounter with this lovely word came roughly 3 weeks after D was born. And looking back on it, I’m actually quite surprised we made it that long before coming face-to-face with the dreaded poopsplosion. We had gone to my mom’s house for the better part of a week, and both my sisters and my dad came into town to meet D for the first time. It was a lovely visit, really. You know, first-time grandparents and aunts and all.

 

All went swimmingly, too, until shortly before it was time to come home. Babies seem to have magical timing, don’t they? I had been holding D on my lap and turned her around to go up onto my shoulder, when I noticed a damp sensation on my hand. Well that’s odd, I thought. Did she spit up or drool on me? Upon further inspection, I realized it was neither of the above options. Rather, a tell-tale yellowish stain began creeping its way across the back of her onesie. Oh no! Is that what I think it is? Yep, it’s what I thought it was. Poop.

 

Quick, let’s get her changed before it gets worse. Ha. Ha ha. HAHAHAHA! Nice try. Before I knew it (and of course before i could get her into the room we were using as the changing area), there was bright yellow breastfed baby poop engulfing my sweet baby girl. Up her entire back, out through the leg holes of the diaper, all around to the front of the onesie, on her legs, on her socks, in her socks, on her arms (what? yeah, i don’t know either). POOPSPLOSION!!

 

Needless to say, tiny little D went right into the sink for a nice warm bath, poopsplosion clothes and all. Don’t worry, she was quickly separated from the mess and given a new, clean bathing vessel, but we just wanted to try to contain the monster as soon as possible before the poopsplosion could claim any more victims. And thus, dear readers, began our lives with a new word – poopsplosion. I’d love to say that we and the poopsplosions parted ways after those newborn and breastfed months, but not even close. In fact, we’ve had a couple encounters as recently as this week. There is a very good reason we have to keep a spare outfit on hand at daycare. Twice this week D came home in different clothes. And you know what that means… More poopsplosions and more laundry. Hooray!! (insert much sarcasm here)

 

So there you have it. Our first (of MANY!) really messy moment with a baby, and our introduction to a new vocab word all rolled into one. Lucky us! And now I’m curious – what about you? Have any messy moments that stand out in your memories? In my experience, the poopier, the funnier!

 

 

I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out www.BleachItAway.com.  Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

 

I’m also linking this up with Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.