Is anyone else out there with daughters scared shitless about raising them in today’s world of over-sexed, under-dressed, unsupervised, and generally grown-up-too-fast youth? I am.
I’m horrified by some of the things I see girls younger and younger doing, wearing, saying, and experiencing, and I whole-heartedly pray that I will be strong enough to raise D with unwavering morals and values.
I want her to be proud of herself, love herself, respect others (including her elders), and love having me and R as her parents.
I want to give her a childhood full of innocence and happiness, warm summer days and nights playing outside, cold winter ones snuggled in close, and memories filled with laughter and love instead of micro-minis, stilettos, and make-up.
I want her to fully enjoy being a kid, where her biggest worries are learning to share toys and riding a bike, not whether her clothes are from the right store or if she has the perfect body or, god-forbid, the best cell phone.
I want to foster her confidence so she grows up strong enough to respect herself, not feel like she has to do whatever it takes to get the boys’ attention or that of the mean girls.
My hope of hopes is to give her the best foundation possible early in life so that she grows into a wonderful woman in her own right, ready to take on the world with a good head on her shoulders and a positive (yet not naive) outlook and attitude. I know that may sound uber-cliche, but that’s what I want.
I don’t want to be her best friend (although i’m sure that would be great, but my job is parent).
I don’t want to give in to every whine and beg just because everyone else gets to do it.
I don’t want her to have a cell phone when she’s 7 because I think that’s ridiculous; she can have one when she’s ready and able to pay for it herself (read has a job and can fund her own plan).
I don’t want her to be on Facebook until she’s well into high school, if not college, or ever (wouldn’t it be great if we could actually raise our kids to talk to each other, not online chat??).
I don’t want her to start dressing like a college student in grade school because that’s disgusting.
I don’t want her to think she’s entitled to everything just because every other kid appears to be.
I want her to address adults by Mr. and Mrs.
I want her to say please and thank you and excuse me and may I.
I want her to be able to use her imagination to make up games and stories and make-believe playlands.
I want her to understand and appreciate money and not throw a fit when there isn’t a Bentley wrapped up with a bow in the driveway on her 16th birthday.
I want her to be caring and giving, not selfish and absorbed like so many kids I watch today.
I want that amazing sparkle in her eyes to always be there, never fade.
I guess I just want her to be a good person, and I want to have the strength and wherewithal to get her there. Is that too much to ask?
I found this wonderful post today over on Clover Lane, and it’s exactly everything I’ve been thinking about and wanted to say. I don’t want D’s childhood cut short either, so I hope I’m a good enough mom to make hers long and pure.
You took the words right out of my mouth J. This is what scares me the most about having a child….what kind of person he will end of being. I now find myself looking at some teenage boys in disgust and hoping Junior turns out to be a confident, intelligent, self-sufficient, polite, and respectful human being. I guess we can just parent to the best of our ability and hope for the best.
Yes! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. And, of course, I should have included all the awesome little boys. D’s just my only frame of reference right now. 😉
I just look at some kids today and think where in the hell did you come from? And how can I prevent my kids from turning out like you? That post on Clover Lane says how today’s shit would have never flown in our parents’ and especially grandparents’ generations, and I kind of feel like we need to go back to those standards. What has happened in the realm of parenting to cause such a shift? I don’t like it.
AW and I have talked about the fact the we DO NOT want to be complete push over parents with Junior. You have to be firm and stick to your guns….that’s what my parents did and we (my brother and I) turned out pretty good. I think a lot has to do with kids having low self confidence and they feel the need to fit in so badly. Then they fall into bad crowds and it all goes to shit. But then there’s that fine line of making your kid feel good about him/herself without creating a monster. Hurts my brain and Junior isn’t even here yet.
Exactly!! That’s what my parents did too, and it’s what my plan is with D. Not cave and be the friend. Kids need their parents to be just that – parents.
Great post! I totally agree. I watch my neighbor’s 8 year old daughter and am amazed at what they let her do, say and wear. Her mom has commented that her daughter has a “smokin’ body” and that she should “flaunt it while she has it”. Totally ridiculous and disturbing.
WHAT??!?! That is disgusting! That is exactly the kind of crap I hate. Why on earth would you say something like that about your CHILD? Scratch that – why would you even think it?? Ugh. I sincerely hope I can shield D from that shit for as long as humanly possible.