This is totally random, and a terribly sad subject, but it’s just been on my mind this morning. So lucky you, dear readers.
I have read so many stories lately of babies lost far too soon – women having multiples where either one or more perishes before birth; singleton miscarriages; multiples being born and spending their first hours, days, months in the NICU only to lose one or more of their siblings before going home; multiples being born healthy and happy and having gone home, only to have to rush back to the ER some time later and not bring everyone back.
I cannot even imagine that pain.
And I think now, being a parent myself, it makes it seem so much more real. Not that I can put myself in those parents’ shoes by any means whatsoever. But just knowing how devastated I would be if we lost D, such stories from complete strangers often bring tears to my eyes. From the moment she was born she captured my entire heart and world in her tiny little body, and if something were to happen to her I don’t know how I would make it. So when I hear what all these families have had to go through, my heart breaks for them each and every time. Especially when the baby(ies) have been born and the parents have gotten to see and hold and know them, even if just for minutes, then to sit there and lose them knowing no more can be done to stop it. Whew – I’m choked up just thinking about it.
I mentioned this to someone earlier today, this unfortunate plethora of angel baby stories that I’ve encountered, and their response was that it’s nature’s way. Now they totally did not mean it in a disrespectful way at all, like well those people must have done something to make that happen. No, that certainly wasn’t the case. (because when i heard that response i, too, was like what!? are you serious?? no that’s not nature’s way!) They were just thinking of it more along the lines of how when animals have offspring they know when some are not going to make it and focus their efforts and attention on those that they know will instead of trying to save each and every one. (let me also mention that this person does not have children of their own, and even admitted that they’re sure they would view things differently if they did. but right now they just have pets, so that’s their frame of reference) I said well that’s true, but we as humans rarely birth like 7 children at once (save octomom, of course), and our 40 week gestation period is so long that by the time that baby(ies) comes out it already feels like it’s been a part of us for eternity. Don’t we have one of the longest gestation periods of all species except like whales and elephants? I don’t know – I didn’t Google that yet so I could be way off. But anyway. If something was wrong with one of my babies, you’d better be damn sure that I’d do absolutely everything possible to save him/her. That’s what doctors and hospitals are for.
So there you go. See, told you it was random. Just another one of those posts where I kind of dump my thoughts out to you. But if you’re reading, please say a prayer for all the angel babies and the families that are so desperately missing them every second of every day. I guess that was really my point. And as selfish as this may sound, I hope to never know that pain.