Month: July 2011

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Canada recap (lots of pics!)

So like I said, our Canadian vacation last week was awesome. The car ride there was 12 hours exactly with stops, which was better than I expected. I had been thinking it was normally a 12 hour drive, when in actuality it’s more like a 10-11 hour drive when it was just me and R. The weather was gorgeous all week; a few showers and clouds here and there, but on the whole it was beautiful. We overlapped for a day with my grandparents, an aunt and uncle, and another uncle and his wife (all on my mom’s side), and we overlapped for 4 days with my mom and stepdad. Everyone LOVED spending time with D, and she had equally as much fun playing with and charming everybody. I must admit, however, that once my mom was gone and it was just me, R, D, and my sister M, it was much less relaxing of a vaca than it used to be, except when she was napping and I could lie out on the dock in the sun and read my book (or nap myself). It was still a wonderful time, though, and I can’t wait to watch her grow there throughout the years and fall as much in love with the place as my sisters and I have.

I think the only downside to the trip was the ride home – it was so long, 15 hours total. We got stuck on the bridge coming back across the border in Sault Ste. Marie for over an hour, then had between a 1-1.5 hour stop at 8:00pm for dinner in Sheboygan Falls. D did great, though, and it was fun showing M R’s stomping grounds. Needless to say we were all exhausted by the time we finally rolled into our driveway at 10:30 that night, but the vacation overall was well worth it.

Here are some pictures from the trip. I tried to make them small since there are so many, so just click on any for a larger version. Why do the good times always have to go so quickly?

D turned 11 months the day we left
Yeah, I'm 11 months old!
First dip in the lake - too cold
First bath in the washtub
My g'parents wearing the bride and groom hats we gave M at her surprise bridal shower
Grandma, what is on my head?
M was faking enthusiasm with this get-up
Some of my fam
Sunset
4 generations
D & her great-g'parents
Naptime
Making "soup" w/Mommy & Grandma
I love boat rides!
Outside Jake's - our fave restaurant
We got D a little tent bed for the trip, complete w/its own air mattress
Happy 4th of July!
My stepdad's 60th bday cruise
Pontoon + beer = happy
Mmm, popsicle
Helping Auntie M drive the boat
Hey, I have a bobber on my head
M, me, & my mom
3 generations
I liked my life jacket
Paddleboating
Making more soup w/Mommy
Mom, I like soup
I really like soup!
Hi guys, I'm in the loft
I'm so tiny up here!
Yay, another boat ride!
Playing w/Daddy
2 generations
I'm trying to read here, guys
Sparklers. The bugs were BAD!
Peekaboo!
Our little family
Sunrise the morning we left

 

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I told you I hate politics

Today begins the latest saga in the messed up world of our state’s political struggle between Republicans and Democrats. 16 groups filed papers to recall state senators as a result of the melee that ensued after Scott Walker was elected governor last year and everyone started fighting over the budget bill in Madison earlier this year. 8 Republicans and 8 Democrats are being recalled. Only 9 districts are having actual recall elections, however, with today being the primary for those districts. The general elections will occur on August 9 in those 9 districts, and then there’s 1 district that only has a general election later this month. Of those 9 districts, 6 Republicans are being recalled and 3 Democrats.

Now here’s the new idiocy of it all – the Republican Party has chosen Republicans to run as fake Democrats in today’s primary elections against the real Democrats who are challenging the 6 Republicans who are being recalled and having elections. Follow that? Basically if a Republican is the target of a recall election today, there will be 2 people running against him/her – 1 real Democrat and 1 fake Democrat planted by the Republicans.

Seriously?? I have freely admitted that I am by no means a political expert, but how is that even legal? I mean, I know there are write-in candidates in practically every election, but planting fake members of one party to try and take votes away from your opposing party? Sounds like a bunch of crybaby bullshit to me. Have the balls to run fair and square – if you lose, you lose, I don’t care which party carries your allegiance. So go vote! Just make sure you’re really voting for who you think you’re voting for, not an imposter.

See, politicians are stupid. Maybe I’d actually enjoy paying attention to the government of our state, our country, and possibly even other countries if it just wasn’t so goddamn annoying.

 

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Creepy McCreeperton

Last night R, D, and I went for a walk up to the post office to pick up all our mail from last week and then to the neighborhood grocery store. It was hot as blazes, but we’re tough like that (or maybe a little crazy). And we ended up having 2 packages waiting at the post office too, so those were fun to cart around on the stroller. Anyhoo.

I was standing in front of D in her stroller in the produce area of the grocery store as R was picking out some veggies, when a man walked by with his cart and stopped to smile and wave at D. No big deal there, everyone does that. So I did my usual, “Can you say hi?” to her, while she just sat there smiling at the guy. Now here’s the weird part. His comment was, “So cute. That’s not fair of you bringing him in here. It’s gonna make every woman’s who walks by ovaries ache.” Um, ew?

First off, she’s a “her”, not a “him”. She had on a little blue dress with flowers across the neckline and matching bloomers. Whatevs, small detail there. But the ovaries comment? Ick. Sure he was just being friendly, but that kinda skeeved me out. I know I’ve said on here how my ovaries have kind of started itching to do the baby thing again, but that’s totally different. That’s me talking about myself, not some random male stranger making on off-hand comment about ovaries to a woman with her baby.

I asked R if he heard what that guy said on our way home, then relayed the conversation and how it grossed me out, and he goes, “What? I don’t even know what that means,” and started laughing. Silly boys.

What do you think? Was that a weird comment, or am I just the weird one?

** Side note, but still baby-related, I found out yesterday another good friend of mine is pregnant. Congrats, C!!! And 3 friends had baby girls last week while I was gone – congratulations, C with baby S, L with baby C, and F with baby B! This really is baby madness. **

 

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The first time

You’re nervous, maybe a little frightened/anxious…

Will it hurt?

How long will it take?

What am I going to feel like when it’s over?

You start, then maybe stop for a second, making sure it’s not too painful. Then keep going past the worst of it until you’re done and you feel the sweet relief.

Oh wait, I’m not talking about that first time.

Sorry to get your hopes up. I’m talking about a much different first time – the first time you have to poop after giving birth. Surprise!

All right, let me back up a second. I guess I could also have titled this post “Things they don’t tell you about pregnancy – #4:  The Aftermath“.

Again, with all the babies being born and on the way right now, I thought I’d give you my take on the whole thing. It was one of the biggest question marks in my entire pregnancy, labor, and delivery experience – what in the hell is this going to feel like and how am I going to feel afterward?

As always, this is strictly based on what happened to me, certainly not the rule for how it happens for everyone, and it might be a little graphic for some. And obviously it would be totally different for anyone that has a C-section.

If you’d like to read D’s entire birth story, it’s over here. This post will probably be long enough on its own without adding all those pages too.

But to sum things up, she came out too quickly for me to even have a chance to ask for pain meds or an epidural, it hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before, it was probably the most strenuous activity of my entire life (even though the actual delivery part only lasted for 20 minutes), and fortunately I only had a tiny bit of tearing with a few stitches. Now, onto the fun part…

After giving birth, your body is pretty much like what the fuck did you just do to me? It hurts, I won’t lie.

I mean think about it. A small opening increases to over 10x its regular size, then you have to push a large object with shoulders and limbs through it using your pelvic muscles (well, and pretty much every other muscle in your entire body). So it’s no surprise that after that trauma you’re a little messed up for a while.

I was very fortunate with my experience – besides going quickly, I was in pretty good shape physically afterward and only took ibuprofen once or twice in the following days.

Funny story about that too – they give you permission to take a huge super dose of the stuff after delivery, and you can call the nurses for more powerful pain relievers if you need, too. I didn’t read all the sheets they gave me about the dosages, so only took the usual 1 or 2 pills. When I told the nurses this, since they were surprised I wasn’t asking for anything whenever they came to our room, they just laughed, saying I could have been taking like 3 times what I had. Oops. Oh well, I was just happy I didn’t need it.

But back to the point here. So in the 2 days after D was born while I was in the hospital, they had me take stool softeners. Not to make me go (the thought of which scared the bejesus out of me after what had just happened down there), but to make it a little easier when the time came.

And that time didn’t come until shortly after we had gotten home, so sometime in the afternoon of the second day after my delivery. That was fine by me – I would’ve put it off forever if I could have.

Even just peeing afterward was a struggle – the first time I went after delivery I think they had me go in one of those plastic bedpan things, just to make sure everything went ok (i honestly can’t remember if they did anything with that pan of pee, or if they just needed to make sure i could go).

Then instead of wiping they had me wash myself off with a little squirt bottle that I’d fill up with warm water. Thank god. Using toilet paper was another frightening prospect at that point.

And all the “accessories” I had to wear? Geez.

They give you gigantic pads to soak everything up, as well as ice packs to put in your underwear on top of the pads. Those things saved me – they’re big long pad-shaped packs that you crack and then enjoy the icy goodness to help reduce the swelling.

And the best part was they give you an endless supply of everything you need in your bathroom. I was like fill em up! I got multiple refills of both the pads and ice packs. For as little as you really feel like going to the bathroom after delivery, the more often you change those ice packs and nasty dirty pads the better. I think I changed things at least once every hour or two, whenever I could feel the coolness subsiding.

Ok, now this part is extremely gross, so just beware. (no, seriously, BEWARE if you read ahead!)

When we were moved up to our actual hospital room from the delivery room, the nurses said to call them right away if I passed any blood clots bigger than the size of a golf ball. I was like ew, ok. I was obviously bleeding, but nothing out of the ordinary for post-delivery.

Well, as soon as I stood up for the first time up in our room (i think i was walking over to look at d in her little bed), I felt something very big and slippery slide out between my legs.

Oh my holy god, what was that??

I told R that I was afraid something nurse-worthy was happening, and went into the bathroom to investigate. Yep, there it was – a big, maybe 3-golf-ball-sized clot, just chillin’ on my giant pad.

Ok, disgusting. I’d better call the nurse.

She came in, put on her latex gloves, and mushed the thing around between her fingers to see what was going on (sick!!). Fortunately it looked normal, there was no need for alarm, and it was the only one I passed. Gross, the fun continues.

I guess that clot was what the placenta looked like, because I didn’t see that in the delivery room (sorry, i warned you this part was nasty).

After that it was just the bleeding to deal with, which was like the heaviest period ever times about 10. Plus each time the nurses came in to check on me they pushed on my abdomen to make sure my uterus was contracting properly, which not only hurt, but caused more blood to come out.

Fortunately everything went perfectly, and it was back down better than they expected by the time we went home. (my bleeding continued for about a month, finally tapering off completely by 6 weeks after. it obviously wasn’t so heavy that whole time, but still enough to need the pads)

My first shower post-delivery was quite the experience too.

I hadn’t stood for that long of a time since giving birth, and felt pretty weak. I had showered just shortly before we went to the hospital the day I gave birth, so I didn’t shower again until I think the second day after, before we went home. Maybe it was the afternoon of the day after, I don’t really remember. But anyway, it was a chore.

It took a really long time, I was nervous washing off the busted open area for fear of catching a stitch on the washcloth so just kind of patted things down there, and I didn’t know if it was going to sting getting soap in that general vicinity. I didn’t have any stinging fortunately, but the washcloth and towel I used to dry off both went directly in the laundry when I was done.

I’m telling ya – it’s a dirty job, this labor and delivery thing.

And now for the part you’ve all been waiting for – the pooping.

I was so scared of it. I was convinced it was going to rip everything back open down there, and I just didn’t want to do it.

So once we got home and I felt the urge, I warned both R and my mom (who came up the day after D was born and stayed with us for another couple days) to ignore any screams they may hear emanating from the bathroom, but if I wasn’t out in like an hour maybe give a friendly knock on the door to make sure I hadn’t passed out from the pain.

So I took some baby wipes in (hell no was i even going to try to use t.p. are you kidding me?!), sat down, and prepared for the worst.

You should’ve seen me – I was seriously acting like I’d never pooped before and didn’t even know what to do. It took forever for me to just relax and get the show on the road because I was so fearful.

But whaddya know? It ended up being much less traumatic than I expected. Thanks to the Colace they’d had me on for the past couple days things just kind of slid out without too much pushing on my part. And the gentle touch of the baby wipes was much friendlier than toilet paper ever would have been, so the clean-up wasn’t too bad.

Whew! You have no idea how relieved I was that was over.

So, there you have it. The messy aftermath of vaginal childbirth. Fun stuff, eh?

Like I said, I was lucky not to really have much pain at all afterward, so I didn’t have to deal with taking any meds home other than the occasional ibuprofen. And by my 6 week postpartum checkup, all the stitches had healed and dissolved completely, and my doctor couldn’t even tell there had been a tear at all. Sweetness.

Now, here are my tips for l&d:

  • Don’t take any cute pjs that you think you’ll want to wear for delivery. In case you missed it above, this is a very messy process, and things get bloody. Let the hospital gowns get soiled, not your own stuff.
  • Do take some comfy clothes to wear after delivery, once you’ve had a chance to clean up a little. I did wear their gowns for at least the whole first day and a half, though. Pack your nursing bras and tanks if you get some. This is the perfect time to start getting used to them once you’re out of the gowns.
  • Stock up on pads before delivery – I got a bunch of the ultra thin super absorbency ones. Super absorbency will definitely be the order of the day, so getting them as thin as possible was much more comfortable than the huge bulky ones they gave me in the hospital.
  • They gave me both a numbing spray and cream in the hospital, in case I needed some extra help on top of the ice packs. If you use the numbing spray, spray it on the pad or ice pack in your underwear, not directly on yourself. I used it once, and couldn’t even imagine spraying anything directly on my poor lady bits after that experience.
  • Take the ice packs home! I lived on those things, literally, for days after delivery.

I’m sure I missed some gory details in there somewhere, so for those of you with upcoming deliveries, feel free to ask away! This was a fun one, wasn’t it? 😉

 

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I’m ba-ack

Hi! Home from vaca, and I’d be lying if I said I was happy about that. Those first couple days back after vacation are the worst. But we had a great trip, D was an awesome little car traveler (something about which we were worried since it’s a 12 hour ride), it was definitely a much-needed break from work, and I’m now nice and tan thanks to our beautiful weather up there.

I’ll be back later with some more posting, just wanted to let you know I’m in the house today. And I’ll give you a nice full photographic synopsis of last week once I go through all the pictures we took and get some uploaded.

I hope you all had a nice time while I was away. Just one thing – who ordered this heat and humidity? Ugh. Coming back to 90s wasn’t so nice.

 

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FF

I’m still on vacation, suckas!

So here’s a little ditty R sent me a while ago that I thought was hilarious. I’m willing to bet my left big toe that you will finish none of these sentences correctly.

 

 

Get your minds out of the gutter.
 
 

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Mean girl

How do I prevent D from becoming one?

There is nothing I hate more than girls of any age, really, whose main goal in life is to form cliques, be the top dog of those cliques, and subsequently make life a living hell for anyone not in with them.

You know exactly who I mean. We all experienced them in school or even outside of school in life at some point, I’m sure. I know I did. And I was never the top dog. Nor was I ever really in, either. And when I think back and am perfectly honest, it sucked.

I don’t think I was ever the direct target of any cliques’ disdain or fun-making, but I was never really invited into a lot of stuff either. I don’t mean invited to join in torturing other non-clique members (even though i wasn’t), but just in general.

Sure I had a good group of friends all through school, but I was never one of the *cool* kids or the popular girl that everyone wanted to befriend. And up until pretty much my senior year in high school, I was really, really shy.

Me, initiate a plan with friends or an idea for something to do with others? Not a chance.

Hence, I spent most weekend nights just hanging out at home rather than out at parties like a lot of people in my class. (in my defense, though, i actually did like spending time with my family. maybe it was because i felt most safe and comfortable there, or maybe it was because my group of friends just weren’t the big partiers, but i didn’t mind staying home on those weekend nights one bit.)

Throughout grade school, and pretty much all of high school, too, I always felt like I didn’t quite fit in with everyone else. I’ve never been able to figure out why that was, either.

Maybe because I had such a weird last name that no one could pronounce (Picl – take your best shot, but i’m sure you’ll get it wrong. teachers taking attendance became the bane of my existence).

Or maybe because I was always one of the “smart” kids.

I think my shyness definitely played a big part, too. In a group of people or unfamiliar situation I would never go talk to someone I didn’t know or who I thought I wasn’t “friends” with, I would just stand by myself if my friends weren’t around and try to blend into the walls or background.

Finally by the end of my junior year and into my senior year of high school, I was much more confident in myself and stopped being so hung up on everyone else’s perceptions. So what if they didn’t like me? Not everyone has to. I liked me. And so what if I didn’t know someone that well? I could still say hi to them in the halls instead of averting my eyes and pretending I didn’t see them.

I made a lot more friends in my class (well, ok, acquaintances anyway) and actually had some fun. I was valedictorian of my high school class and athlete of the year, which was an unbelievably huge honor for me, since I never considered myself an athlete either. I was just a swimmer. But senior year I single-handedly outscored our entire football team at the State level. Now there’s a confidence-booster if there ever was one.

I was still beyond ready to get out of both high school and Peoria by the end, though, but at least the days became a little more bearable. “Glory days” high school definitely was not, for me.

But enough of my therapy session. Back to the matter at hand, which is making sure D doesn’t turn into one of those clique-forming, classmate-heckling mean girls.

Unfortunately I did tease kids in my classes from time to time when I was younger, like in grade school. And I am sorry for that. Why is it that everyone always picks on the fat kid? But I was also teased sometimes, and I didn’t like it. It hurt my feelings. Too bad I never turned that around in my head to see that’s how the kids I teased felt, too.

I guess it just worries me now more than ever, as a parent, how judgmental kids can be of those who are different from them. And why do so many parents not instill the value of acceptance and tolerance in their children?

My parents never really said much about it not being right to make fun of people (even though i didn’t really make it a habit. remember the wallflower? she usually came out to play more often than any sort of teaser), but that is one of the main things I am determined to teach D – don’t be mean to someone just because they don’t look or act just like you do.

I want her to learn that everyone has a story, everyone has feelings that can get hurt just like hers, and just because you think someone is “different” doesn’t mean they don’t get a chance too. I don’t want her to be a pushover, by any means, but I just want her to know how to treat others with respect. All the bullying stories that are out there now make my stomach turn, and it’s something of which I never want D to be a part.

I guess on the flip side, how do I teach her to handle a situation if she is on the unfortunate receiving end of teasing?

That one’s harder, and I’m really not sure.

Of course my wish is that she becomes a nice, funny, friendly girl who no one wants to make fun of, but I would hope that if she is she would be confident enough not to let it bother her too much. Or, something that I would never have dreamed of doing when I was little, be able to tell the person who’s teasing her that she doesn’t appreciate it and to knock it off.

Obviously confidence isn’t something she’ll really know for years, but I think you know what I’m saying. I just want to be a good enough mom to raise a strong, self-confident daughter, not a mean girl.

I just found this paragraph from a woman’s tribute to her father, and although it came from a completely different scenario than that of which I’m speaking here, this is exactly what I want to teach D:

“My dad taught me so many, many things, and the most important of them were things he taught me by example.  He taught me to be considerate, to give people the benefit of the doubt, to not be judgmental, and to be patient.  He taught me that honesty is best, even when it’s the more difficult choice, and he taught me to treat everyone with respect.”