Aka “Shut the f*ck up!”

Sorry, I didn’t want to put a giant screaming “fuck” in the title. đŸ˜‰ But I’m sure you’ve all seen this by now:  Go the F**k to Sleep

If not, you’ve apparently been sleeping for a couple months. Someone sent me a pdf version of that book before it was even for sale on Amazon, and I about died from the hilarity reading it. Parents-to-be, just you wait. You will love your child more than you ever thought humanly possible, but those nights when getting him/her to sleep seems impossible? The words of this book will ring oh-so true.

There’s a wonderfully narrated version of it by Samuel L. Jackson that just might make you laugh out loud, too. I’m hesitant to post it here since it is copyrighted, so if you’d like to hear it just let me know. You can also find it on YouTube, but it might make you sign in or create an account to view it since it contains explicit language. Rules.

I saw this article today, however, and I think it’s a little much. No, the profanity in this book is not suitable for children, but the book is not intended for kids. And the author certainly is not instructing parents to physically harm their sleepless offspring in any way. And demeaning to children? Someone’s taking themselves way too seriously here.

This book has simply put into writing what I guarantee every parent has felt or will feel at some point in their child’s lifetime. It is not the cause of parents not reading bedtime stories to their children as much anymore; it is not responsible for the unfortunate fact that many parents do use language like this regularly with their kids. Yes, my heart breaks into a million pieces when I think of all the children in the world whose parents do not care for them as they should, or at all. No child deserves that. But to portend that this book somehow perpetuates that? I think someone needs to lighten up. Go ahead, laugh at the book. It’s ok, it’s funny. And it does not make you a bad parent.

 

NY, my thumb, and a dog

Random much, SM? Yeah, I know it’s a weird title, but I didn’t have any good way to connect the 3 totally unrelated topics I wanted to write about this morning. So there ya go.

I know this is old news, but I felt I would be remiss in not mentioning it. On Friday of last week, NY became the largest state to recognize same-sex marriages. Awesome!! This has been a contentious issue across the nation for a very long time, and probably will be for years to come, but I was very happy to see this law passed. It’s one step in the right direction, anyway, in my opinion. I know so many people feel gay marriage is wrong, since in the Bible it says marriage is between a man and a woman, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m not religious (another entire post in itself), I’ve never read the Bible (i actually did start on that endeavor years ago, but didn’t get far at all. does anyone else find trying to read that language about as enjoyable as pulling out your eyelashes one by one?), and I don’t understand why a book written thousands of years ago is still considered relevant enough to rule our laws today. If 2 people are in love, want to spend the rest of their lives together in a recognized union just like the rest of us, and are doing no harm to either themselves or anyone else anywhere on the planet, why should they not get married? I still have not heard a good answer to that question, so I personally hope the rest of the states eventually follow NY’s lead. I knew I liked that place.

So remember how I was all excited about the gardens I planted last month? The veggie plants, the veggie seeds, the mulch? Apparently my green thumb wasn’t so green after all. None of the seeds had sprouted a few weeks later, so I just kept patiently watering and waiting. I was showing R where I’d planted everything one night, and he said, “You didn’t mulch over the seeds, did you?” Well yeah, don’t you see that beautifully spread mulch before you, right where I said the bean, cucumber, pea, and lettuce seeds are? “You can’t mulch over seeds, it’ll suffocate them, just like it does to weeds.” DUH, SM. Seriously, I’m stupid. Why this obvious and most logical of facts escaped me as I laid bag after bag of mulch over the entire seeded area, I have no idea. So yeah, I totally failed at the veggie gardens. The seeds, anyway. The plants are doing swimmingly, especially now that the sun has finally decided to remember that the Earth is down here. I pulled the mulch back in those areas where the seeds were to uncover the dirt and try to resuscitate them, but unfortunately only a couple pea plants have sprouted – no beans, no cucs, and no lettuce. So I finally had to resign myself to the fact that I killed them and needed to start over. Last night I got a chance to reseed the barren areas, so I planted more beans and lettuce; unfortunately the cucumber seeds were gone, and I figured I’d take my chances with 4 pea plants up so far before planting any more seeds in that part. Fingers crossed that this round survives and the sun helps them out this week, since each day looks like it’s going to be gorgeous. I had a little helper last night as I was working in the gardens, too.

Mommy & D in the backyard

 

And now for the dog part. This morning on my way to work I saw a dog, running with its leash attached, right down the middle of the road and onto an onramp to the highway! What the?? It was a pretty small little guy (i’m calling it a guy. it could very well have been a girl, for all i know), but he was moving like a bat out of hell. I didn’t see anyone chasing him, but I did see one car that was stopped just behind where I first saw him, so maybe she was his owner and he’d gotten out of the car somehow. She had to stop since the light changed, which allowed the dog to get even farther up the ramp toward the highway, so I really really hope that lady was his owner and was able to get him once her light turned green. I felt terrible for not stopping to try to pick him up. I always think oh yeah, I would totally stop to help an animal, but here I had a chance and totally didn’t. But I’m honestly not sure what I would have done with him had I nabbed him. I guess just taken him back to wherever his tags said, because I don’t know where any vets or animal shelters are around here. I still couldn’t help feeling a touch heartless. Please little doggie, be ok and back in your owner’s care!