I went for a run again tonight, since I have that 5k on Saturday morning and I wanted to keep my legs loosened up. Well, as loosened up as they can possibly be after the first week in approximately 52 weeks (if not more) in which I have worked out 4 times. The 5k will make 3 runs, plus 1 workout with my trainer. Youch.
So anyway, tonight’s run started off horridly. My legs hurt, my ankles were stiff, my whole body just felt tired and lacking any semblance of speed. I even crossed the street at one point so as not to run up behind a couple pushing a stroller with my dinosaurish plodding and gasping for air. I seriously considered giving up and heading home at the halfway point, but then I thought, you ass, you’re only going 2 miles. Keep moving!
As I lumbered along in misery, I determined rule #1 of the universe. Even more important than the Golden Rule. Do unto others is great and all, but this one trumps even that. If you see me jogging toward you on the sidewalk, even at a ridiculously slow rate of speed, all out of both shape and breath, please, for the love of god, please, do not step / walk / fall / ride a bike / ride on roller skates / push a baby stroller / push an adult stroller / push a wheelbarrow / throw a toy or ball of any sort / sweep / or even try to glance across the sidewalk in front of me, for I am so out of both shape and breath that I will be unable to maneuver in time to avoid tripping over you and breaking my leg and possibly yours in the melee. Just stay out of my way! Mkay? Thank you ohsomuch.
Also, can we discuss the scents in the neighborhood while I run? I won’t even go into the extent to which my smells became fucked up while I was pregnant, because that’s an entire other post in itself, but let’s just say it’s taken me this long to finally be able to wear perfume and smell meat again without verging on vomiting. However, if I run through a cloud of smell when I’m having a particularly bad run, that gag reflex comes roaring back into action. So to those of you grilling burgers and doing laundry, let’s save it until I am safely past your house next time.
Fortunately I made the whole run again without walking (oo wee, all 2 miles of it), and after about the first half my joints sufficiently loosened up so that each step didn’t involve something locking up on me. I ran 2.09 miles in 18:56, a 9:02 pace. It definitely felt like about a 20:00 mile pace. I was glad I kept my butt moving there in the middle. I even had enough energy left to mow the lawn when I got done. Coolness.
